Disabled son beaten up at college, twice

Swan_2

maybe this would be better in Discussion Time, I don't know, I'm not thinking very straight right now

I know no-one can do anythng about this situation, & sorry it's so long-winded, I think I'm just looking to vent

my 19 year-old has Dyspraxia (moderate gross motor, severe verbal) & developmental delay
he was taken out of primary school in year 4 because of being bullied, only went back for 1 year of secondary, & is very socially inexperienced

he started a part-time college course for young people with learning difficulties last year, & after a very shaky start had recently started to come on in leaps & bounds

Friday of last week a student from another department began to harrass him, blocking his access to a doorway he needed to get through to get to class. my boy tried reasoning (as best he could given his communication problems) & when that failed, pushed past & was threatened with a beating at home-time
the other boy lay in wait for him after classes, & punched him around the face & head
this was witnessed & reported by several people, & the boy was expelled on the spot. apparantly this was the last straw, as he was on a final warning about his bad behaviour (I don't know what he'd done previously)

I knew nothing about this till early this week, when my son's tutor called me to tell me what had happened
(my boy had spent the weekend hiding the bruises because he was too embarrassed to tell me )

anyway, all of this week the young thug has been seen hanging around at the college (he lives nearby) so I called the college to voice my concerns & I was told he'd been 'dealt' with as he'd no right to be there any more

yesterday at afternoon break, he was there again & sent a girl to lure my son out to speak to him, ostensibly to apologise (remember, my boy has no street-sense at all)
the first thing he did was punch my son in the eye, then proceeded to beat him all over his head, face & body. eventually, my son ran back into the college building bleeding profusely from his nose & mouth
the police were called & the young 'man' arrested & taken into custody. he'll be in court this morning, but I'll be surprised if he gets more than a telling-off :mad:

I called the college to find out how this could have been allowed to happen again, & was told 'oh but we told (insert thug's name) he wasn't allowed to come to the college any more' ... as if that was going to deter him!

anyway, now my boy's refusing to leave the house (guess he's still in shock) & I don't know if he'll ever want to go back to college

I don't know what could have, or should have been done, but I can't help feeling it should have been more, particularly given that he's on a special needs course
I'm furious that he couldn't attend college in safety, peace & dignity

I'm going to stop now, if you think this is a rant, you should see what's going on in my head!

alwaysonthego_2

Oh I am sorry to hear about your son, bless him, no wonder you are mad. Your son does have the right to be able to attend college without the worry of being harrassed. Your son's college do not sound supportive, can the college possibly assign a support worker (or something similar) to be able to accompany your son during break times to give them bit of confidence. It would be a shame for your son to have to leave college because of this mindless bully good luck x

Justie

so sorry that's horrid for you and your son and the little scroat who did it wants showing what it's like to be vulnerable... grr

the police should take this seriously and offer some help through victim support, my experience is that the police take these things seriously but as you say the courts may not - it will depend a bit on his previous record. It may be worth seeing if you can get an injunction against this lad or encourage the college to get an injunction to keep him away from the premises. Is there a way that the college can provide a mentor for your son so that he doesn't need to arrive and leave the grounds on his own?

I would also go to the local papers and name and shame the oik.

give your son some time and then work out with him what he wants to do and how to get him back into college. And reassure him that MOST people aren't like this.

big hugs all round xx

pavlovs_dog

oh swan *hugs* not really sure what advice to suggest. normally you'd kick up a fuss about bullying in situations like this, but as the boy has been excluded the college will probably deny all responsibility :rolleyes:

at your sons age, im not sure how far the 'duty of care' stuff stretches, but i would certainly question their inclusion policy if they are not doing everything within their power to make it possible for your lad to attend safely.

as for him perhaps not wanting to go back, could the college help on that front? is there a favourite teacher who could give your boy a ring, let him know he's missed and is welcome back whenever he's ready?

newcook

Hi Swan!

what a mean and nasty person! did the college also contact his parents?

how is your son now?

Big hugs to you both:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

pistol_leads

This is absolutely sickening
I hope that the court knows all the details, of your son etc., and serves this THUG a suitable punishment!

Jennie_2

Justie is right!

Your lovely lad has every right to be at the college without being fearful of who he may bump into and what they may do to him.

I don't believe in mamby pamby... "let's see how it goes" advice that schools, colleges and work places dish out. He may be 19 but he is your special boy and does not deserve to suffer.

Me personally (because it is the way I am) would go and see the Principal and tell him you are going to take the matter further. I would ask him what measures he and the college will be taking to encourage your boy back to college and to pave the way for a safe and positive experience of college life.

Sorry to rant but bullys make me mad and the weak handling of them makes me madder.

You go girl and the very best of luck!!! Let us know how it goes!!

cobbingstones

I feel so angry I can just about type! How dare this bullying happen?
I just wish I knew the answer....Would this be classed as ABH? Would a restraining order be possible to apply for? Could you contact local papers? Have you seen the Principle face to face to demand action?

I so very much hope this is sorted for your son.

Very best wishes and pls keep us informed.

MM xx

plumduff-2

Cant say anything that hasnt been said before... You just need to provide loads of re-assurance to your son now.. Could you, partner or other family memeber drive him to college and back at least for a time, to get his confidence back a bit..

I would also look at getting an injunction out... As you have reported it to the Police, surely there will be a court date which you will need to attend unless thug pleads guilty...

Contact the POlice and demand to be kept updated...

Phone the LEA and see what they suggest as to what the college has done and can do...

Hope things improve for you and son.. Take care.. xxx

cpu

Difficult situation. What a shame for the lad. As far as I am aware, colleges may have different policies in place for dealing with students with difficulties but all should follow the main basic theme of support and safety. None of which appear to have been afforded to your lad.

I expect it's a bit like shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted with regard to the incidents that have already ocurred (with regard to the college input I mean) but the college must be made to take it's responsibilities to this student more seriously now so that this does not happen again. As you say, this lad is on a special needs course so they are aware of his issues.

A visit to the college head is in order I think.

I think your lad needs to be supported well in the short term, to try to get him feeling better and he needs his confidence boosted. Is it possible for someone to take him/pick him up which would cover the outside of college times, whilst the college could deal with his support in house?

Swan_2

thanks for the support everyone, I feel better for knowing I'm not being unreasonable

I'm just going to make some lunch for the 'little' fellow in question, he's 6-foot-odds & (so I'm told) twice the size of his assailant, but wouldn't fight back

I'll reply properly shortly :A