Spill the beans..

madmoneysavingmum

We argue every year about what to spend on our 3 (DS8, DD6, DD4). And every year I end up feeling I am spoiling them and wicked for wanting to spend too much - but actually this thread has been very helpful in thinking that I am not. We do not actually spend much more than most people (which is what my husband thinks). However, I do think that our spending needs to be tempered by what we can afford and what they need. DD4 also has her birthday on Christmas day, and DD6 is New Year's Day so it is an expensive time of year. Like most people, I want our children to be happy and have a nice day at Christmas, but fortunately although they do enjoy Christmas presents they like the company and family celebrations and food best. For DD6 a letter from Father Christmas was a real treat last year. They also like getting involved in all the Christmas cooking and in the advent preparations at church.

I would like to spend about £150 (which we can afford) per child including stockings, presents and other treats. My husband feels £100 is more than enough (if he did the shopping, he would spend £30 per child). We end up spending about £100, which is fine - I shop very carefully. But it is getting harder to do this as they get bigger and really want specifc things (eg Playmobil School). What is interesting though, is that he still remembers vividly never getting the things he really wanted. And he still remembers being upset. And this is largely why I want to spend a little more sometimes so they can get something they really want. They get small presents from 4 other people (relatves/godparents) for Christmas. We do not buy presents or toys at other times of year, we dont have any games consoles or similar, and they do not get enough pocket money to buy anything big through the year (£1 per week max. although they are very good at saving over a long time), but we do save the girls' birthday money (from relatives, normally about £40 in total) until DD8's birthday in the summer, as they don't need anything else around Christmas. We spend around £100 on each for their birthdays.

Our arguments are really around the volume of stuff that they have, not the money. But toys and books do take up space, as do three kids. I think as they get bigger, that will become less of a problem. But the disagreement over the money spent probably won't.

MMSM

saidan

i didn't realise people bought easter gifts.......i've only ever had chocolate eggs, and now so do my children who love it. Each to their own, but i do wonder where the tradition of an easter bunny who brings gifts come from? ( i lived in the US and even there it is just chocolate - but on a bigger scale lol)

i don't think people spend what they can afford - people spend according to their attitude/morals/values despite what they can afford.

we are very comfortably off, yet spend less than £100 per child, always finding a bargain mse style, i think this is because of our attitude and our religious beliefs. christmas for us is about a celebration of jesus/ birth, and giving of a few gifts to remember that.
i know of lots of people who get into debt at christmas - my sister is one as she spends easy £500 per child (3) and then has to pay it back all year. she however feels that christmas is about spoiling the kids, and to her that means spending money (which she doesnt have)

it is interesting - and very hard not to not be tempted into 'keeping up with the jones'

saidan

moomoomama27

saidan wrote: »

i didn't realise people bought easter gifts.......i've only ever had chocolate eggs, and now so do my children who love it.

Same here! Hundreds of ££££ on easter! It's a religious occasion! unfortunatly it has become a manufacturers dream!

A bike for easter! I've heard it all!

shellsuit

When I was a kid, the only things we ever got for Easter, were chocolate and new clothes!

When my oldest 2 were younger, they'd get eggs and £10, so we'd always head for Woolies on the bank hol Monday where they'd buy some new videos lol

Major presents for Easter? Why???! *shrugs shoulders*

pinklipy

I think the common theme here is that we are mostly doing the same as what are parents did for us so if we got "spoiled" as children and got gifts for Easter then that is the norm for us, likewise if you got £100 at Xmas and eggs for Easter.
I don't believe either way is right or wrong but it seems to have a lot to do with upbringing.

mandco

i love to have a big pile of presents under the tree and the look on they're faces xmas morning. they're only kids for a little while and it doesnt hurt to go a little over the top at xmas but it doesnt mean it has to cost a fortune.

i have a budget of £100-£150 per child(its gotten higher as they've gotten older) but that doesnt mean I have to spend it if I can do it cheaper then i will last yr I only spent £50 on the youngest and any left over goes towards a xmas treat/day out.
in previous yrs when they asked for expensive items like games consoles then its been given as a joint present rather than just for 1 of them to keep the cost lower.
i buy stuff in the sales throughout the yr but its much harder to do as they get older as they ask for more specific items meaning I have to wait till closer xmas to buy and then they often cost more.

the older ones know what they're budget is and get the choice on whether they would like 1 or 2 dearer presents or more cheaper ones they know they wont get both. if they ask for something thats over budget then grandparents ect chip in towards it rather than buying seperate presents. also with things like latest release games I'll give an IOU voucher and buy them in sales after xmas when they're usually 1/2 price.

YORKSHIRELASS

My kids are older and this year will get £250 maximum spent on each of them including stockings and all presents. This will include practical things that they need like clothes, socks, underpants and pyjamas. My son was really happy to get new trainers under the tree last year. I put a lot of thought into their presents and really try to avoid gimmicky presents that will have been forgotten about by New Year. The money is saved all year round and supplemented by Tesco vouchers. My husband and I buy each other a couple of small token gifts as we would rather the kids have things. Each to their own I say, so long as you can afford it.

toontron

CFC wrote: »

Even worse if you do it all year round.

Why? Because I can afford to spend surplus money on my children and choose to do so? That IS surplus money by the way, not credit cards, and not catelogues either, it is my disposable income. I can't see a problem with that at all. I shop very wisely, which is why I am a great fan of this site. Who the heck are you to judge what you consider to be a suitable amount to be spent on children you don't know? How very strange.

RichesToRags

I know a woman who's child is coming up to her 5th chrismas and she has never bought her a single present. She has money for designer gear, nights out and weekends away for herself though. She says she gets presents of other people/is too young to know any different etc and doesn't need them from her, yet throws a hissy fit if she herself doesn't get something spectacular off her OH. Now to me that is how you spoil a child. The example she is giving her is how to be self-centred and greedy.

'Things' don't spoil children, their upbringing and early examples are what shape them. Getting the latest gadgets for christmas is hardly an indicator of what type of adult they will become and I find it a little disconcerting that some think it is.

Sadie204

RichesToRags wrote: »

I know a woman who's child is coming up to her 5th chrismas and she has never bought her a single present. She has money for designer gear, nights out and weekends away for herself though.

What a horrible person!! Maybe the first few xmas's she wouldn't know any different but at 5 she understands that all of the other children at her school get presents and she gets nothing!? Not saying that present's should be bought just because everyone else will be getting them but to put yourself first before your child is just disgusting!!!

We were spoilt as children as both my parents worked hard and put money aside to pay for it all. Despite this, my sister, brother nor myself are very selfish. I would rather go without to pay for something for my girls. Last year we spent around £200-250 on our eldest daughter as I was due with our LO mid Dec. I wanted her to enjoy her last xmas as an 'only child' lol! After xmas, she was asked what her favourite present was to which she replied 'my baby sister'!! (Ended up arriving 9 days late on xmas eve!)

This year we have set a budget of £100 each plus xmas eve hamper about another £25 but that is for the whole family to share. Their piles will be of different sizes though as LO has bigger things ie ride on/weebles treehouse whereas DD1 has smaller things but more of them such as LPS stuff/CD player. By next xmas, there will be 3 of them (Due June) so yet to set budgets for next year but doubt it will change by much. I could buy more but can't see the point tbh. They will be happy with what they are given and are struggling for room to keep everything as it is lol!

:xmassign: