Boyfriend Possessed by Ghost?

coin_operated_girl

When I first read the OP my immediate reaction was that maybe he has some kind of sleep disorder? I have a sleep disorder and sometimes I hallucinate at night and they are usually really horrible and I feel like I am screaming a lot (I don't know whether I actually scream out loud, so far no one has been in the same room as me when this happens). Or maybe, as other people have suggested, he could have been fast asleep when it happened- I remember watching a documentary a few years ago about people who shout in their sleep and do all sorts of other things like trying to have sex with their partner. But then I thought surely being honest would be a lot more preferable than pretending you are possessed by ghosts.

My next thought was that he is probably quite a violent person, woke up and decided he didn't want her in his house so shouted at her to make her leave. Few days later he changed his mind and decided he wanted to see (sleep with) her again so made up some stupid excuse to make it seem like it wasn't his fault.

Its obviously also possible that he is mentally ill, which would be perfectly understandable that he doesn't want to admit to that so early on.

I guess it doesn't really matter why he did what he did. The main thing is that he sounds like he could be quite violent. If I was the op I would meet him (in a public place) so then you can say to the friend that even though you met him you still don't like him. I think it might push her away a bit if you flatly refuse to meet him.

jonty1970

concerned43 wrote: »

IMHO - it maters not a fart the excuse he made for his behaviour but the main issue here is that he was abusive to your friend and threw her out of her house with complete disregard for her feelings or safety.
I would refuse to meet the BF nor would I 'investigate' this man nor would I try and guess what was wrong with him. I certainly would not be going down this avenue with the friend as many women love a challenge and playing Miss Marple which will only add to the interest she has in him.
I would sit the friend down and question why she is so desperate for a man that she would allow a man to abuse her!
I would ask her:
1) Is she suffering from low self esteem?
2) Is she lonely?
3) What parts of her life does she not llike and how can she improve them?
4) How do others treat her?
5) How does she treat them
6) How does she define abuse?
7) Has she ever been abused?
8) Given an abusive scenario - how does she react?
etc
This way the focus is all about her and not the BF - thus lessoning his importance.
I would then refuse to listen to discussions on the BF and instead ask her the same questions about her every time he's mentioned. Its her life but you can give her the tools to change it into something more positive.

Great post :T
low self esteem makes you put up with allsorts of abuse. My upbringing and bad home life meant I couldn't wait to leave home and I ended up a victim of domestic violence.


Tell your friend to drop him now. Why is she even speaking to him, after the way he spoke to her.

She needs telling he is no good. f she still goes with him, tell her she'll be sorry.
Decent men treat you like a lady and want to look after you.
If anyone spoke to me like that, my bf would knock their block off!

Pee

I don't think I believe in ghosts possessing people.

I know that if a ghost did possess someone, I would have to have been through thick and thin with them to want to be involved in anyway. So if my boyfriend or sister acted like this, having known them years, I wouldn't run in the opposite direction, but a new guy? She'd have to have really low self worth to think this was a goer.

Welshwoofs

Voyager2002 wrote: »

The man who said that he was possessed by a ghost clearly has mental health or drug problems. That does not mean that he is dangerous, nor that he cannot have friendships and relationships. In fact, social isolation is likely to make his problems a good deal worse.

I'm afraid that I agree with scheming_gypsy - it could just as equally be that he's a complete A-hole who simply wants to see how much carp a prospective girlfriend is willing to take.

I can think of all sorts of reasons he'd do it, but what I have a hard time reconciling is why the friend would want to carry on seeing a guy she's been with a mere 2 weeks who threw her out of the house in the middle of the night and then invented some dumba-rse excuse for the behaviour the next day. She obviously has a real downer on herself if that's all she thinks she's worth!

scheming_gypsy

Any wrote: »

I have to say, why would anyone meet a friend's new bloke in his house in the first place?? (unless it's a dinner evening, and those usually not happen until after people met at least once and quite often in couples - ie not 1 man and 2 female friends walking into guys house for a coffee! Especialy when it's an hour drive!)

why wouldn't you? it's not that rare to go round to a friends new boyfriend / girlfriend's house.

Any

scheming_gypsy wrote: »

why wouldn't you? it's not that rare to go round to a friends new boyfriend / girlfriend's house.

Well it is in my neck of woods - I generaly don't go to a house of a person I have never ever met before or anyone I know has (like a friend of a friends is having a party etc).

1 weird completely unknown to me bloke and my mad friend and me in a house with no one else in, an hour from where I live?

It would be different if he was a friend with someone else I knew, he would be known to my friends or acquitances... but in this case?

I was brought up with common sense.

Aberdeenangarse

Are you sure he's possessed by a Ghost and not just trying to give her the willies

cardboard_chewer

I’ve decided that a one off meeting in a public place is best. I’m going to memorise some of the questions and points made by you guys. Luckily the meeting won’t take place for a couple of weeks because I am (genuinely) busy until then. Hopefully she will either see sense before then or he will get struck down by lightening. I have a bad feeling that the latter is more likely :-(

RichGold

@OP

After giving it careful consideration I've come to the conclusion that your friend is an idiot.
She ought to stay away from him and anyone else who talks such utter bo110cks as to say they were possessed by a ghost.

Crazy people do crazy things you know, better safe than sorry.

Errata

cardboard_chewer wrote: »

I’ve decided that a one off meeting in a public place is best. I’m going to memorise some of the questions and points made by you guys. Luckily the meeting won’t take place for a couple of weeks because I am (genuinely) busy until then. Hopefully she will either see sense before then or he will get struck down by lightening. I have a bad feeling that the latter is more likely :-(

Fair enough. A good conversation opener would be 'I've been looking forward to meeting you. Cheryl's told me you've told her you're possessed by a ghost. I think that's really fascinating, can you tell me a bit about it'.