Real Life MMD: What gift should I buy for my nephew's wedding?

trying_2_b_good

As someone who is recently married I would like to tell you to give what you can afford! Some of my aunties gave me £25, others £250! I don't think any less of the ones who gave less, or any more of the ones who gave a lot. I'm not going to treat them any differently or think of them as my "favourite" just because they gave more!

If your nephew has a gift list, buy something off there, if not, buy something unique - I love this and would think it was very special - top with a frame and he wouldn't know how much you've spent anyway! http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/glynwestdesign/product/personalised-treeheart-with-songbirds-print

When i go to weddings, I think about how much I'd spend on a nice meal with drinks, and use that as a guideline for how much I give. But you're not going, so you don't have to "pay for yourself" - just give a gesture!

Littleweedj

kikamorris wrote: »

Wedding guests are expected to provide presents. You aren't going to the wedding, so nothing will be expected. Send the couple a nice card wishing them a happy day and a happy future - job done!

Totally disagree - particularly where family or close friends are concerned. I would feel such a cheapskate if only send a card.

If I get an invitation to a wedding, either the whole day or for evening reception and don't attend I ALWAYS send a gift.

Family and close friends get something which equates to a higher value than others i.e. colleagues at work where we would all chip in for something.

emmadragon

kikamorris wrote: »

Wedding guests are expected to provide presents. You aren't going to the wedding, so nothing will be expected. Send the couple a nice card wishing them a happy day and a happy future - job done!

Totally agree, if I can't make the wedding I would only send a card and I would not give a gift.

Perhaps include a £20 gift certificate for somewhere nice like a department store if you feel you must send something as they should be grateful for anything they get especially in these hard times. They can put it towards something themselves.

pennypinchUK

As ever, give what you can afford, and no more. If they're respectful and grateful they'll appreciate any gift. If they're not respectful and grateful you probably wouldn't want to give them a gift in the first place!

joehoover

Do whatever you can afford, be realistic. You don't have to compete with other people and you don't have to regard yourself as a cheapskate. Just a card is a bit simple, but there are some great tuips form other people on this thread.

What do your nephew and fiance like to do? Since I'm a keen cook, and family members not so they always ask for tips when they have friends round.

So I have made them their own personalised cookbooks for birthday presents. I buy an A5 book from Paperchase which has plastic sleeves in it, even for the cover, then type up the recipes, add some photos or pictures I have taken myself, or even off the internet, print off and make up the book. You can make some nice designs to the pages using bog standard software, a personalised cover could commerate the occasion and the first page could be a personalised message.

It looks great and has always been well received.

We really need to move people away from too much materialism, some weddings I have known they ahve been together 10 years and have all they need, they just chuck out all their stuff and replace it with wedding list items. Another had a wedding list with nothing below £250. They need to think about why they are actually getting married to begin with.

yorkieboywow

you could find out birthdates, date of engagement and obtain newspapers from that date in history off the internet, framed or as they come should make a cheap but thoughtful, unique and memorable present for them.

kksweety

Are they going on a honeymoon? If you wanted to buy them a present maybe pay for an experience they can do (watersports, bungee, spa/ massage etc) or if giving money then how about giving currency they will need while away?

My brother recently got married and asked for cash. To save any embarrasment or whatever all my family put their money into one card so noone knew who gave what, if you feel a bit tight giving a small amount this is a really good way to get past that.

happyinflorida

If you don't know them very well it's difficult to choose a present that they will like. As you're not going to the wedding, I think it would be perfectly ok to send them a lovely card, wishing them well for the big day - no one at my wedding who didn't come, sent a present and my most well off relative gave me a very cheap vase! So if they're well off I wouldn't worry about a present - if you feel you must and they've asked for money then just send what you can afford and no more!

Idiophreak

I'd check if they've a gift lift or if they've asked for money / vouchers. If not, I'd probably give them a cheque or a voucher - having got married, I know how much more useful this is in than the random little things people give you (lovely as they are). Given that you're not going, you're relatively free to pay what you want without appearing tight...so I'd say anything £20 up will be gratefully received. People aren't stupid, they'll know you're not as well off as them and not expect a massive chunk of money.

cazpost

It seems to be the norm these days to have an extensive wedding list, or to expect large sums of money. Either way, if these people are close family,ASK THEM!! Either ask the couple,or the parents, if there is something they would like within YOUR price range.If you don't feel comfortable asking,then buy something you think they would like,or make something personal,or offer them some sort of practical skill. Close family will know your situation and will appreciate you taking the trouble to be involved even though you cant actually attend the event.