Real Life MMD: What gift should I buy for my nephew's wedding?

Former_MSE_Lee

Money Moral Dilemma: What gift should I buy for rich nephew's wedding?

My nephew is getting married soon, but I can't go for health reasons. With that in mind, I don't know how much to give as a present. They are both in highly paid jobs, more than me, and my sister, who is also paid well, and her family are giving £200. I don't want to spend too much, nor come across as a meanie. Help.

Click reply to have your say

Previous MMDs: View All



[threadbanner] box [/threadbanner]

ironlady2022

How about a personalised gift? These usually can take some time but would be much appreciated than shop bought. Eg make a photo album of old pictures? Or even a scrapbook? Or create a giant poster and roll it up and send it to them. Get their fav print, and have it printed on canvas?

petertwisty

A carefully chosen painting, piece of sculpture, ceramic or glassware made by a local, and possibly young, artist would be unique and original. Such items are notoriously difficult to price but would be an unusual and acceptable gift.

gizmo111

Is the sister giving £200 your nephews mum or an aunt?

auntie_sal

Bearing in mind that these two have probably already got a home together, there is not much they will need and giving money is rather awkward unless it is of an amount to make a big difference. What I did in similar circumstances is enclose a cheque with a card, saying I hope they have a lovely honeymoon and I would like them to enjoy a meal out together (or a bottle of wine even) with my best wishes. This way the gift can be anything from £50 upwards and does not sound mean just thoughtful.

bogwart

Difficult. Could you not have a word with your nephew's mother/father and ask if they have any suggestions? Being close family nobody should take offence, and presumably they are aware of your relative (no pun intended!) circumstances. You don't say how old the nephew and his fianc!e are, or whether they are already living together; both of these details would make a difference.

Rosamundi

I'm with the others, a wedding gift shouldn't be about how much money you have spent as a grand gesture it should be a personal gift in celebration of their marriage.
Nice pieces for their home are always personal, even a bottle of champagne (many supermarkets have offers at the moment) with a couple of nice flutes (ebay is a good source of nice crystal ones which are cheap or if you are able to source 2nds) with a personalised message and a few romantic rose petals packaged nicely can look expensive. For their service they would have chosen a reading or poem something which is personal to them, if you would find out beforehand you could have this written out by a caligrapher and framed. So I think the message here is think personal as anyone can throw money into an envelope ...

kikamorris

Wedding guests are expected to provide presents. You aren't going to the wedding, so nothing will be expected. Send the couple a nice card wishing them a happy day and a happy future - job done!

gizzie121

As I reminded my nephew a few weeks ago when he got engaged and was opening envelopes with cheques for £200, £100, ect... Somebody who can only afford £10, might actually have had to make more of a sacrifice to afford that, as a percentage of their earnings, than the person who can easily afford £200, and not to think it's a lesser gift.

Another option is not to give anything. It would be very rude of them to mention it! After all, you're not even going to the wedding!

julie777

How about a nice suitable book - like "The Secret of Family Happiness" obtainable without charge from Jehovah's Witnesses, if you know one.
It is very helpful and could turn out to be more valuable to them than all the other gifts put together!

undecisive

Others have covered the basics - money isn't everything, personalized gifts rock.

My brother got married earlier this year, and I didn't have the money to buy them a big present, so instead my girlfriend (now fianc!e) and I went to a craft shop, tescos and a department store and made a present for less than £30.

From the craft shop, we bought crêpe paper, some thick frictionful cardboard, a box, glue and some glittery congratulations confetti. From tescos, we bought a bottle of champagne (on offer, of course) and from the department store we bought two royal doulton crystal flutes (again, reduced to around £6 each). Arranged together in the box, being careful to ensure that it could be moved without breaking, it provides a present they can take on their honeymoon if their careful - or, more sensibly, can be something they can enjoy together as soon as they get home.

I was always taught never to give money as a present, especially to someone close.