Problem with my 6yo....

tankgirl1

Ok, Hi *waves*

I am a single mum as I am sure most know.

My problem is that my son is a bit of a spoilt brat and I am not sure what to do........

I thought I had raised him well - best at reading and writing at school etc

He had a friend round today - every disagreement they had (there's gonna be lots - they are 2 x 6yr olds) DS cried, whinged, blamed his guest etc...

I was so embarrassed - told DS that 'A' was his guest. That he should make 'A's' visit to our house as fun as poss!

Wee man kept carrying on and crying (read a 6 yo ranting) ............

'A' went home happy and DS went to bed no nonsense...................but I still feel pooo!

balletshoes

you did the right thing - when my DD was younger and had her friends round to play, whenever they started kicking off and telltaling on each other, I'd just tell them both at the same time that if they couldn't agree to play nicely with each other, they wouldn't be having any fun for the rest of the playtime. I did have one child who asked to be taken home because she wasn't always getting to play the way she wanted to with my DD and my neighbours little boy at our house.

sassyblue

He sounds pretty normal to me tankgirl :rotfl: kids have days like this and you handled it well!

IMO a good way to gauge how you're raising a child is how they act when they're round someone elses house, mine remembers his manners and is very good and well behaved. He is at home most of the time too, but then we have 'moments' like the one you described. :eek:

Chin up, you're a perfect mum and tomorrow is another day! x

tankgirl1

Thankyou guys!

Here's another problem we have........

We live in a small village - it used to be rural,local people... we where all the same - working class, skint etc,..

Our small village has fab train links to Northern Cities - so we have seen a HUGE influx of people living in V expensive houses in our village over the last few years.....

Lil man and I are still working class thru and thru....he is feeling this already as all his 'friends' incl the one who visited today are very well spoken and obv a class
As if I cared - but i does matter!

*max*

In what way is it a problem?

Ziggazee

Aww, he's not a spoilt brat. He sounds like a normal 6 year old boy. They have their moments.....maybe he was just tired, going through a growth spurt, feeling unwell??

((((((big hugs)))))). I know how hard it is bringing up a son alone, but the bond between the two of you will be so strong :-)

tankgirl1

*max* wrote: »

In what way is it a problem?

Because most of his class mates are very much middle class, and very well spoken - my lil man is clever - he wants to be friends with the cool kids eg the posh kids - but we can't compete

Ziggazee

It doesn't matter that you can't compete by way of money, etc, it's who you are that matters. Please don't beat yourself up about it. I've done the same over the years, my son comes from a single parent family (dad has never been around) and I often felt like I couldn't compete with two parent families. You know what though, my son is the most intelligent, polite, well mannered, balanced child you could ever wish to meet. I'm always complimented on what a fantastic job I've done.

Please don't let the financial side of things bring you down, just concentrate on being the best mum you can and providing your son with a stable upbringing and you can't go wrong :-)

*max*

I second the post above! Don't worry about the material side of things. I'm guessing you are worried that maybe they will look down on you because you haven't got the latest gadgets or the fancy house? Those don't matter in the grand scheme of things, it's how you bring your son up that will count. And if they did look down on you, well frankly it's their problem, not yours - and they wouldn't be worth your time if they did, would they? Chin up!

cheepskate_2

tankgirl1 wrote: »

Ok, Hi *waves*

I am a single mum as I am sure most know.

My problem is that my son is a bit of a spoilt brat and I am not sure what to do........

I thought I had raised him well - best at reading and writing at school etc

He had a friend round today - every disagreement they had (there's gonna be lots - they are 2 x 6yr olds) DS cried, whinged, blamed his guest etc...

I was so embarrassed - told DS that 'A' was his guest. That he should make 'A's' visit to our house as fun as poss!

Wee man kept carrying on and crying (read a 6 yo ranting) ............(QUOTE)

Sorry im going to disagree with everybody here and say if you dont sort it out you will have a huge problem in a few years.

Could the problem with the "posh " kids be that they dont like this side of his behaviour, thus not so hot on being his friend.

Even after he has been told to stop behaving a certain way and share/compromise he doesnt seem to be able to do it, even with help/guidance from you.

You say he is spoilt, this is the behaviour of aspoilt child, ME, ME, ME.

As for the kids not accepting/best friends as you are workling.class, kids at this age dont bother, i can say from experience. My son goes to school, where there is huge money and visits even bigger houses and has never experienced it. He is very popular , kids visit our small house and nothing is said by the kids- Now if i was talking about the parents, then for some of them it would be a totally different senario.

You obviously dont like how he is around this child, soon as they get older this is what will loose him friends

plumtreebabe

I know where you're coming from - you don't want them to think working class = bad manners, which it doesn't! Although not working class ourselves, we have some very well-off neighbours too, and to be honest, I have had some of the best manners from those children from the less well off families, whereas some of the others have jumped all over the furniture, pulled down curtain poles (by hanging on the curtains) and broken my daughter's things. Very funny having my sitting room referred to as the 'play room' by said children as they have a separate playroom and adult sitting room (we don't have that many rooms!).

I found helping my daughter plan for a guest helped, as she prepared herself to make them welcome, by identifying a number of things to play that she thought they might like, suggesting a particular snack they would like, and generally anticipating how she might ensure that the child has a nice time; this helps prevent her looking at her guest as someone who is there for her amusement only. I also try to keep an eye on things to ensure that the guest didn't get all the choices or take advantage of this approach! There is one friend of hers whom I know always has her own way in her house, so I don't let her have all her own way in ours.