Complicated - flatmate / relationships! Help!

3v3

[Deleted User] wrote:

Hi,



:eek:, don't think they're at that stage, yet. :rotfl:

:T :rotfl: :beer: Nice one

LittleMrsThrifty

I'd day just go for it. Life is short. You're only renting, if it all goes pear shaped you'll be in the same position as you are now. Nothing ventured, nothing gained...

murphydog999

Can you not go for it, but with an agreement that you live together as friends only for a while, maybe set some kind of time parameter in your mind. Actually living together as friends first without any relationship pressures might help.

Being realistic this might be easier said than done, but it would give you the best of both worlds.

ViolaLass

Or, go about it more gently and you might end up with a nice boyfriend AND a good place to live.

Patience.

(I think we can argue this either way).

sashadesade

I think you're setting yourself up for a fall if you move in with this guy now all this has come out. Your friendship might go down the drain if you move in with him and things don't work out. You'd better find alternative living arrangements whatever happens, I reckon.

Tish_P

Could you be starting things with this guy *because* you are scared of independence? I say live elsewhere (yes! With strangers! Brave it!) and date him when you have a home to take him back to… when the time is right for you both.

somethingsgottogive

Just wanted to let you know that me and my hubby 'hooked up' from being quite good friends, spent the first few weeks spending EVERY night together then moved into a student house together - and never regretted a single minute! We've been together 8 years, married 2, and have two little girls

Why be over cautious? Just go for it, and if it all goes t1ts up, just move on and find somewhere else to live? This life ain't a rehearsed

SandC

I say either go for it (what's the worst that can happen, really?) OR remain as friends on the same basis that you are now.

What I'm saying is if you decide to stay friends, don't move in with him. You will end up with each other sooner rather than later because the seed has now been sown in both your minds. If you want to take it slow, then do so living independently.

Personally I would go for it. As Monica and Chandler worried for, oh about a nanosecond 'what if this ruins our friendship?' 'Ach, we weren't that close anyway'. ;-)

As you haven't got a place just yet, you can start the ball rolling with him anyway and that'll give you a better idea about whether sharing living space is going to be a good idea or not. As for the expense etc. and not living with strangers. For me personally I would never base an emotional decision on the fact that it's financially more viable. BUT thousands of people shack up with each other all the time and if it works, great. If it doesn't they deal with it and move on.

Pisces

I say go for it, but I would try and have a direct conversation with him first about where it's going...

My husband and I moved in together 10 weeks after getting together... eight happy years ago!

lemonpopcorn

go for it, me and OH after 4 weeks moved in together (straight from home) he proposed after 5 and here we are 17 and a bit years later together not married (yet!!!!!) and 3 lovely kids


but we did discuss it first