Adoption vs own pregnancy

bodge76

I'm interested in peoples views on 'having your own child' (for want of a better phrase) Vs 'Adoption'.

Do people see it as just as rewarding to adopt rather than have their own child?
Would you only consider adoption if you weren't able to have your own child?
Why would you choose to have your own child over adoption?

lovecrafting

erm.

I would adopt tomorow if i didnt have my own kids and had space, was finantually secure etc. I had my babies because i got pregnant and dont beleive in abortion, i love them to death but they were not planned, they were however verry wanted. from the second i found out they were growing inside me i loved them and will love them until the day i die.

i would love to give a child a home, growing up in care i know first hand how hard it is when you are over five to get adopted, by then your past it and likley to be in the system for a long time. anyone who is considering adoption deserves a medal in my opinion, raising a child that isnt there own, loving that child and giving it everything it needs.

i wouldnt adopt now tho, i have three kids, my husband has three from a previous marage and we have another on the way. i think after this baby we are definatley done.

flutterby_lil

If i couldn't have children I would consider adoption. I would see it as very rewarding, however if someone adopts because they can't have children, they can't compare and say it is just as rewarding as having their own children as they have never felt this emotion.

My partner is adopting my, or should I say "our" son which I am very proud of him for doing. We are also having our own child, I am pregnant now. He sees his adoptive son like he will see our own birth child.

Ravenlady_2

bodge76 wrote: »

I'm interested in peoples views on 'having your own child' (for want of a better phrase) Vs 'Adoption'.

Do people see it as just as rewarding to adopt rather than have their own child?
Would you only consider adoption if you weren't able to have your own child?
Why would you choose to have your own child over adoption?

I would feel like I was doing something great if I could adopt, I looked in to it a few years ago after a big adoption drive in my area. I was hoping to be matched with siblings aged 5+ so they would be similar to my own childrens age.

I can have my own children but not everyone can, wants to or should do.

I didn't make the criteria for adoption as I smoked occasionally, I already had 2 children at that point and adoptive children should be the youngest in the household by 3-5 years.

The other criteria is set stupidly high and probably rules out the average Joe's.

If you have the funds, International adoption is quicker than in the UK and less stringent.

bodge76

flutterby_lil wrote: »

If i couldn't have children I would consider adoption.

But would you ever consider adopting rather than having your own? Even if you were able to have your own children (as a conscious choice)?

Sequeena

I would, all but one of my nieces and nephews are adopted but I would in no way qualify. It is something I'd like to think about for the future though.

bratz81

If I wanted to have children (which I don't) I would adopt rather than get pregnant. Reason for this is I already think the planet is stupidly overcrowded and people already have too many children so why make it worse.
Also, there are so many children out there who need families and homes so I would give them a chance rather than brining another child into the world.

Just my two cents

pinkclouds

The only thing I really believe is that it is best for a child to have two loving parents, wherever possible (although sometimes circumstances conspire against our good intentions - that's just life). If I was single, then I would definitely consider adoption, although I admit that would probably be due to limited options and my strong desire to be a mom. However, as I'm married, my husband's views are equally important and he strongly believes that adoption is for people who can't have their own kids. *sniffs* Of course, it isn't him that actually had to carry and birth them!! But, seriously, every child is a blessing. There are adopted people in my extended family - how they entered the family isn't relevant to how any of us think of them (although we are aware of the reason they were adopted - mother unable to get pregnant, etc). The only caveat I'd say is that I would probably *want* to adopt a young baby, so I could have the option of nursing them myself, and that would mean looking overseas.

From a rather crass but MSE point of view, I'll also point out that the cost of private obstetrics is about the same as an overseas adoption - if you're happy to do either then it'll make no material difference to your baby budget.

bargainbetty

I don't have any urge to see a genetic copy of myself on the planet, nor do I go gooey over 'little babies'. Why 'little' babies? Isn't that generally how they start? If I do have kids I will adopt. There are over 100,000 kids in the UK who need homes, and I would much rather provide love and support to those who are already here than introduce more.

By the way, if I adopt, if will be my own child. Not biologically, but still my child.

bodge76

bargainbetty wrote: »

By the way, if I adopt, if will be my own child. Not biologically, but still my child.

Biological, thats the term I was looking for - although it does start to sound like we're talking about laundry products!!!

lostinrates

bodge76 wrote: »

But would you ever consider adopting rather than having your own? Even if you were able to have your own children (as a conscious choice)?

I can't have children without significant medical intervention (who knows how successful that would be) DH and I ruled that out very early on...we felt it was nature's way of saying it wasn't right for me or potentiall for any children produced. We also thought it would be an emotional nightmare and that my body has been through enough.

We keep coming back to the idea of adoption: I think I would like to, and I know we would both choose that rather than ''helped'' pregnancy. It seems sensible: we have love to give and there are children who need it. However, we're not terribly comfortble with the guilty and incapable until proven innocent and capable attitude we felt dominated tentative enquiries about adoption....this has so far stopped us taking it further. But I've been thinking about it agains recently as its been in the news a lot which makes the topic harder not to think about!