Deciding what do with your life

SmileBeHappy

Phil unless you wana be a living joke all your life, i'd get off here

abdulinyourface

SmileBeHappy wrote:

Phil unless you wana be a living joke all your life, i'd get off here

watch out

the sp brigade will be after you for being nasty towards him! :rolleyes:

Ted_Bloke

studentphil wrote:

It is strange because like all my mates are sure what they want to do accountants and Systems analyists in the main and I feel a bit left out as I have no idea. It is very frustrating not to know.

At least that's a known unkown. :laugh: I have to post this since I pressed the thanks button by mistake - is there a way to cancel thanks? I don't know if I'll get to the end of this thread, it grows faster than I can read, but this set me off thinking - he knows people who want to be accountants.:rolleyes: Maybe someone who doesn't know what he wants is normal after all? Still you could talk to your mates and find out how they got to find out what they want to do.
I thought you'd thought of a PG course in management or something. Which you could then try to use in some field that interests you like disablity, charities, education, var. tho 1/2 the time it turns out to be something unexpected.
Medium term you might switch to an idea like balance dog training and supplying but I don't recommend that without some other experience first.
There was the idea of temp teaching for a yr. or 2.

SmileBeHappy

abdulinyourface wrote:

watch out

the sp brigade will be after you for being nasty towards him! :rolleyes:

I'll risk it

Ted_Bloke

Quasar wrote:

So, here we have xadoc, who in the previous pages has given phil very good advice. Just look at his posts, and see the effort and thought he has put into this - also it must have taken a bit of time to post all that.

This is what angers me about all this phil saga - people who don't yet know him wander into these threads and, well-meaning as they are, offer well thought out advice, thinking that perhaps phil will do something with it. He won't, and when we have a go at him out of frustration, we're accused of bullying him.

Well I must say after an unusually lengthy up period though I didn't catch all the threads I no longer found this latest down very real and it felt more like a learned routine. But till now amateurs have been trying to help but here is someone professional apparently.

xadoc wrote:

Without telling you what I do, I will introduce this by saying that it is my job to attempt to help people work their way up and out of the sort of quagmire you feel you are in. Obviously, my work encompasses 1/2 hr and 1hr sessions over weeks and months, a few forum posts cannot do much, so I'm going to cut to the chase and be a bit unusually brutal.

It does sound somewhat similar to the services offered by Quasar so I guess it is just a matter of comparing prices etc.

Quasar wrote:

Quasar

Thanks Ted, that did give me a good laugh! :rotfl: :T

elona

Ted

I choked on my coffee! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

victory

sp do you have any hobbies that you could turn into money making schemes? xxx

studentphil

victory wrote:

sp do you have any hobbies that you could turn into money making schemes? xxx

Not really.

Swim from time to time

Web design but miles from professional standards

xadoc

Quasar wrote:

So, here we have xadoc, who in the previous pages has given phil very good advice. Just look at his posts, and see the effort and thought he has put into this - also it must have taken a bit of time to post all that.

Well, only an hour in total. Probably took me longer to read the thread in the first place... and again since. Don't worry about me, I'm naturally verbose!

That's not a lot of effort as far as I'm concerned if it is at all helpful, and there's plenty more where all that came from (waits for exodus to leave the thread). Thank you, though.

Why does everyone always assume I'm a man, though? I've never understood what's so masculine about "xadoc".
:think:

Quasar wrote:

This is what angers me about all this phil saga - people who don't yet know him wander into these threads and, well-meaning as they are, offer well thought out advice, thinking that perhaps phil will do something with it. He won't,

Here I'm afraid I disagree with you. Already Phil has begun a task I suggested, the tone of his posts has become more positive and he states that today he's switching off the computer and going out.

That's progress as far as I'm concerned.

I don't expect miracles. I don't demand them either. But I'm always pleased when someone listens to my advice, and doubly so if it seems to have the intended effect and they derive any benefit from it.

It's not my life - it's his, and he can do with it as he chooses, including coming onto MSE to moan about it if he chooses, (much to the chagrin of you all) but if he takes a few positive steps then I'm right behind him all the way.

studentphil wrote:

It is probably a male thing to want to do better than your friends.
I always found it important to out perform my friends at school and I feel it is important to out perform them careers wise because of that.

studentphil wrote:

Maybe it is silly, but I think most people want to be at least equal to their peers.

I think most of us feel the need to outperform others in some way shape or form. It's a natural human instinct. The education system is particularly geared to encouraging competitiveness; through exams, setting, league tables etc. This can be a positive force, but it can be unnecessary pressure. Generally people beome more relaxed as they grow older and realise that 'keeping up with the Jones's' in whatever way is mostly foolish, and if the Jones's make you feel small for not keeping up with them... maybe you should try keeping away from them instead.

feelinggood wrote:

I'd much rather be friends with people better than me - great way to better yourself - surround yourself with people who make you think, make you question things, and make you grow

It is also good to have a few fun loving friends who end up in hotel corridors in the nude though!!

It is a well known saying that you can judge a man by his friends.

Not sure what it says about you if they're often found naked in hotel corridors... :rotfl:

studentphil wrote:

Because I would need a job to afford a Net connection to post:cool:

Now see, I thought this was Phil being witty and light hearted, myself. Not "poor me".

Gabriel-Ernest wrote:

You see? Even your language is invaded by negatives and small goals. 'Bit less immature' should be 'more mature.'

Gabriel has a point about negativity in your language. And a great link too, thanks.

I believe I also picked up on negativity in your language earlier. Please don't take this as a personal criticism, but a lot of experts now agree that how we talk and the language we use is not as trivial as it seems. There is a world of difference between the people who say 'nothing ever goes right for me', 'sometimes things go wrong for me', and 'hey! !!!!!! happens!' but all those responses could be to the same event. You don't have to be a genius to work out who is probably happiest/least bothered in the scenario above. But language is not merely symptomatic of how we are feeling... it can also be responsible for how we feel.

Ever had a time when you thought to yourself 'I can't do this any more'/'if one more thing goes wrong...'/'I can't cope'? Usually it isn't really true - humans are amazingly resourceful, but this sort of thinking can actually be very damaging you your mood, your self-esteem and your confidence. Challenge thoughts like these whenever you notice yourself having them with more positive phrases like 'it'll get better soon'/'if I just do this I can relax a bit'/'once I've done this I'll reward myself with X'.

studentphil wrote:

I am going to try and make the first step today and turn off my computer and just go out and be normal for an afternoon.

Nice one. How did today, go, what did you do, and what positive things did you get out of it?

Ted_Bloke wrote:

but here is someone professional apparently.
It does sound somewhat similar to the services offered by Quasar so I guess it is just a matter of comparing prices etc.

Ah, now if that was what I did for a living, I'm sure I'd be earning a lot more :rotfl:

Phil, I'd like to suggest 2 things today.

1) Start formulating a daily plan. It's like a diary, but more proactive and productive. Each day, after your evening meal but before you feel too tired, plan what you're going to do tomorrow. Don't forget to allow time for essential tasks and also leave about 10-20% of the day unplanned for contingencies. Anything you don't have time to do tomorrow put on the plan for the day after. Then relax and enjoy your evening, you don't need to worry about tomorrow - you have a plan. If you think of something later you'd forgotten, add it to the plan, or put it on the plan for the day after. Then do your best to follow the plan. Put things on it you think will enhance your mood. Put things on it you think will advance your search for a job/career. Put things on it you don't want to forget you have to do.
2) Set yourself 4-6 goals for the next 3 months that you would like to achieve for yourself. These could be anything - 'get fitter', 'save money for holiday', 'make new friends' etc. Be specific and start small. There is nothing wrong with having small goals. You can meet them more easily, take pride in your success and set a new goal. A big goal in itself may seem too daunting, or you might not know where to start. Try to break bigger goals down into smaller, more manageable chunks. Look at each of your goals and work out ways you can try to achieve them - 'go swimming every Tuesday', 'sell some old stuff on eBay', 'join a new club'. Re-evaluate in 3 months, look at what worked, what didn't, and set yourself new goals for the next 3 months. If necessary, write a more short term plan for just the next month.

OK, I'm done for now.