The Ultimate Hard and Fast debt clearing mission

shrimpy_80

Oh Birdie, so many :(s in your post...

Its good that you have the opportunity to make a little extra working for your dad, is ebay/car boot an option? Might give you a little cash boost to kick start things again? I did one on Sunday and we made about £70 between us, and its wasn't really brilliant there either (although the lovely weather helped).

Hopefully your OH will appreciate the effort you are making, I think you are probably being harder on yourself than he is IYSWIM. I know what you mean about committing though, things seem so far away when you agree to them! You are a team though, he may be good with money but I'm sure there are other areas where you are the one he looks to for support.

I have the opposite problem at the moment, OH is going out this weekend for a friend's birthday and I said I wasn't going due to cost (was a bit put on the spot to make a decision), now I've found out pretty much everyone we know is going, even some friends from Leeds we haven't seen for ages, and I wish I was going too! But I guess my bank balance will thank me.

Birdie85

Yeah they are Beccie, but when I got my eyes done we agreed that he should have something that was just for him of a similar value since TBH 80% of our spare cash goes on stuff I want to do/have; even if it's for the flat it's because I want it, he's not bothered about stuff like that whereas I am and he goes along with it to make me happy. I'd somehow managed to build up a little extra on the CCs before they got paid off too, it was a case of getting to the end of the month and being a little short so it was £20 here and there and the next thing you know there's an extra £400 on there to be paid off. Grrrr... I'm just so annoyed that for once OH could've had something nice for himself and I can't even manage that much. I just feel like the most selfish person ever right now. :mad:

ETA: Cross posted with you Shrimpy! I've got a list of things to put on ebay and of things to take to the posh second hand clothes shop so hopefully it'll help. I'll speak to my Dad about doing some weekend jobs for him too. We don't really have much to car boot as we've had a big clear out recently.

Kepp

But depending how you look at it - you got your eyes done which eventually saves money, so no longer will you be paying out for glasses and contacts so in the long run you have saved money. I used the calculator on Ultralase when I had mine done and it said that I saved over 3K over my lifetime.

Assuming all your money is joint anyway!

I can understand where you're coming from but maybe you're being too hard on yourself when you think that you must get him something of similar value cost wise. You can't help if you have bad eyesight and he doesn't! Maybe while you're trying to get your finances sorted you could do some nice free things for him - cook some nice meals, do his share of the chores maybe?

Dinah93

Grace continuing to do well and coming down on her oxygen requirements. Tomorrow she should go back onto the low flow system she was on at home. They're stopping the phenobarbital today as they don't think she has an underlying seizure issue, it was just a reaction to how ill she was, but they'd rather find out while she's still in than at home.

Sorry for not posting yesterday, another horrible day. Mum called in the morning to say grandads chest was rattly and she was getting the doc out. The doc came and said it was pneumonia and he was going to give morphine to make him comfortable rather than antibiotics. Within ten mins of hanging the morphine he was gone. It was expected, and it gives me a lot of peace to know he's not in pain and is with my grandma again, the two of them just fit together like ying and yang, very different personalities but together they make a whole. I am upset I didn't see him before he went, mum said to come over on the evening since I was with Grace at the time, and he passed about two hours later. I in no way blame her, I just wish I could have given him a kiss before he went as he meant the world to me.

Birdie as regards money, can you go back to basics? Try that one day assess your outgoings thing of Martin's to see if you can cut your bills or interest? You chose together to have the holiday and the car, you could have gone cheaper but you didnt and you can't change that now but you didnt run off and spend all the joint money on your own, you both did.

Failing that could you get an evening job in a pub or call centre, just for a month or two until you can catch up to the backlog? My other idea would be to put him in charge of the money to let him try to improve things if he thinks you're not doing a great job.

Payday here, not that it matters. I haven't checked the banking for a week, but I assume we had plenty left over as no calls have said bills have bounced, and both NIM and I haven't seen our bank cards for a fortnight - its been worrying when we need petrol and have to get cash off mum and transfer it back over as we cant use a cashpoint, but its really helped with the overspending as when you go to tesco with £3 in silver its a lot harder to come out having spent £20.

My mum has offered to pay for.me to go to my cousins hen do, as she says I need a break after the year I've had, bit I dont really want to be away from Grace even for one night.

Kepp

So sorry about your Grandad Dinah xx

ruby_eskimo

Oh Dinah, glad to hear Grace is doing better but sorry to hear about your grandad. I think your mum's right, you do need a bit of a break but I do understand that you don't want to leave Grace. It's a tough one.

Hope you can sort the finances and things out with your OH too Birdie.

Things are going to be very tight over here in the igloo for the next few months. OH is getting a bonus for working during the Olympics and we really need a new sofa and TV. It's not enough to cover both but with the money we're getting from the insurance company after the flooding, we might be able to get the sofa at least. Then he's got it in his head that he wants to go to Budapest in November so we'll have to pay for that and we're saving for the wedding. Going to have to have a sit down tomorrow after I get paid and try and create a proper budget. Might be lots of pasta for dinner!

Birdie85

I'm so sorry about your Grandad Dinah At least he's at peace now and the fact that he went quickly means that he wasn't suffering for long which must be comforting.

Good news that Gracie's back on the mend. Hope the seizure was just a one-off thing.

With our money thing, we're actually doing OK joint account wise, not sure there's too much to cut back on (although I'll be honest, I haven't got a clue about the utilities and how to go about checking competitors etc but we don't seem to be paying too much compared to what everyone else says they pay!) the problem is just a general overspending on food and other bits which I need to cut back on as all the leftover money at the end of the month is going towards spending money for our holiday. My big problem is running out of money from my personal account... then I end up sticking little spends on the CC (determined not to do this any more, OH is getting my cards once I'm sure they're totally paid off!), I also have a bad habit of 'borrowing' the odd £20 from our joint account which is totally unfair on OH who is so careful with his money. We do have plenty of personal money each month in theory, but because of the commitments I made ages ago that are now needing to be paid I'm down about £200 this month which is a huge hit and I've got a wedding and birthday party in the next 3 weeks to pay for and no idea how I'm going to manage it! I might have to cry off the birthday party and at the wedding just have a couple of glasses of wine that the B&G are providing then switch to water. Don't want to have to rely on OH for money as he told me how much it upsets him that he ends up spending most of his spare cash on me because I'm incapable of sticking to a budget.

MagicCat

*Delurks (seem to be doing this a lot recently!)

I'm so very sorry to hear about your Grandad Dinah. My Grandad passed away last week, even when it is expected it is still so very sad, it is the end of an era. I truly believe though they are in a better place now, sound of mind and soul, and your grandad together with your grandmother. I can't even imagine how you are feeling with all the worry about Grace as well - I'm so glad to hear she is doing well though. Take care of yourself.

Still keeping your family in my prayers.

N.I.M

Dinah93 wrote: »

My mum has offered to pay for.me to go to my cousins hen do, as she says I need a break after the year I've had, bit I dont really want to be away from Grace even for one night.

Your argument is invalid (I'll get the pig AND the bunny if I have to) your going.

MagicCat wrote: »

*Delurks (seem to be doing this a lot recently!)

I'm so very sorry to hear about your Grandad Dinah. My Grandad passed away last week, even when it is expected it is still so very sad, it is the end of an era. I truly believe though they are in a better place now, sound of mind and soul, and your grandad together with your grandmother. I can't even imagine how you are feeling with all the worry about Grace as well - I'm so glad to hear she is doing well though. Take care of yourself.

Still keeping your family in my prayers.

Just stay and hang out MagicCat, we don't bite...well except poolie :rotfl::rotfl:

alioops78

Really sorry to hear about your Grandad but you know that he's with his love and he got to meet his great-granddaughter.

Alioops
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