My ex is refusing to sign the Divorce Petition.. what now?

POPPYOSCAR

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

You don't need it.

The unreasonable behaviour is not the grounds for the divorce. The grounds are that the marriage has irretrievably broken down owing to behaviour which the petitioner considers to be unreasonable.

The list of behaviours that are considered to be unreasonable are just examples and do not have to be proved.

That may seem unfair, but that is the fact. Once the petition has been served - he has three options - 1.sign and return it, 2. ignore it, in which case eventually the court will order that the divorce proceed without his signature, 3. seek to defend the divorce (note not the reasons but the actual divorce) which involved huge amounts of money, there is no legal aid to do this, and is almost certain to fail because once one party to the marriage says it has irretrievably broken down... it has.

OP hang in there, keep in touch with your solicitor, and let him/her do their job.

That does not seem fair to me.

Surely he can object to what is being said about him in legal documents?

zzzLazyDaisy

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

That does not seem fair to me.

Surely he can object to what is being said about him in legal documents?

Nope. That's why 'unreasonable behaviour' divorces cause such bad feeling, but unfortunately if you want a quick divorce it is the only way - unless both sides agree to adultery, or unless one side can prove adultery which is almost impossible in most cases.

duchy

Really it depends on how quickly you want a divorce.

If you have a new partner and want to get married again fairly quickly obviously that is going to make a difference (especially if he knows this is what you want).

Lots of men will agree to a divorce on the grounds of seperation but don't want to be "painted the bad guy" in legal documents. If this is the case it might be simpler to wait to divorce with consent next year practically rather than try and plough on with unreasonable behaviour now. If he's going to contest every inch of the way chances are by the time it gets settled it'll be well into next year anyway.

adamantine

but OP is on legal aid and if he is going to fight the divorce it will be expensive and they wont fund it they will refuse it and the OP will have to wait the relevant time (2 or 5 years depending on the country) to file when the other party cannot refuse.

missk9

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

That does not seem fair to me.

Surely he can object to what is being said about him in legal documents?

This doesnt seem fair and I agree, however firstly I was very careful what I put down as facts... he knows everything in there is 100% true. I even took a couple of things out - as to try not to rock the boat too much. I do have a little proof of a couple of them but as stated here - I dont need it.
I personally would have signed anything to get this dovorce over with quickly and he also agreed to this... but I think he just enjoys being akward!
I know for a fact he LOVESSSS his money and is very selfish with it, im hoping once he realises how much it will cost him he will just sign it - in the meanwhile i amjust hoping not to get too much disrespectful text.
I am on income support but not for much longer, so would prefer to get this sorted while its not costing me anything as I have already been left in the lurch financially.
Thank you for all your wonderful replies... I agree with what both are saying about the waiting and not waiting etc but I have created a lot of problems for myself during this separation by being "too nice". Not in the social sense but like being over flexible with the children and him seeing them around his "weekends away" etc etc.
Maybe its time for me to find the meany in me just a little?

missk9

I really wanna explain all this legal court stuff to him - as he is a bit dibby/dummy... but it will turn into a row - so im hoping someone will tell him asap ! As he only has a week to sign and reply.

POPPYOSCAR

missk9 wrote: »

This doesnt seem fair and I agree, however firstly I was very careful what I put down as facts... he knows everything in there is 100% true. I even took a couple of things out - as to try not to rock the boat too much. I do have a little proof of a couple of them but as stated here - I dont need it.
I personally would have signed anything to get this dovorce over with quickly and he also agreed to this... but I think he just enjoys being akward!
I know for a fact he LOVESSSS his money and is very selfish with it, im hoping once he realises how much it will cost him he will just sign it - in the meanwhile i amjust hoping not to get too much disrespectful text.
I am on income support but not for much longer, so would prefer to get this sorted while its not costing me anything as I have already been left in the lurch financially.
Thank you for all your wonderful replies... I agree with what both are saying about the waiting and not waiting etc but I have created a lot of problems for myself during this separation by being "too nice". Not in the social sense but like being over flexible with the children and him seeing them around his "weekends away" etc etc.
Maybe its time for me to find the meany in me just a little?

I don't doubt for one minute that everything you have said on there is true.

It just seems wrong to me that things can be said about a person on a legal document and there is nothing they can do about it, as was stated in the post I was replying to.

I would not change the way you are, you are setting a great example to your children by being the 'bigger' person in all this.

princessdreamer

My divorce went through on unreasonable behaviour, it did take a while for ex to accept it refusing the papers and such. In the end he realised it was not going to go away. As long as you have been factual and he knows it then he will in time realise he has to just let it go through. My ex still tells everyone he divorced me but who cares the paperwork show a different story. Good luck

missk9

princessdreamer wrote: »

My divorce went through on unreasonable behaviour, it did take a while for ex to accept it refusing the papers and such. In the end he realised it was not going to go away. As long as you have been factual and he knows it then he will in time realise he has to just let it go through. My ex still tells everyone he divorced me but who cares the paperwork show a different story. Good luck

Yeah i think this is the problem...he has told his whole family he split with me over me not allowing him to take a girl from work to the cinema... which actually i was okay with usually as she was just a friend..but in this instance me and him handnt been out for about a year together so i was a bit funny.. but ANYWAY the real LAST straw was 'another woman and secret texting' but I havent told any of this family and have kept my pride by not spurting off!
Its like he thinks the documents are gonna be reported on the 6 o'clock news for all to see...I have told him this is NOT the case..
Thanks for your reply...i would like to 'stick to my guns'

Caroline73_2

Use reverse psychology and tell him you arent bothered about the divorce anymore. He's obviously enjoying the attention! Change your name by deed poll and tell him you'll be telling people you are divorced on grounds of his unreasonable behaviour anyway.