Time to make a change....

Skintfoodie

Well, where shall I begin... I've lurked on and off on MSE since 2009 and after spending an afternoon reading the diaries on here today I've decided to start my own.

So my debt story...

At 18 I left college and got a job, I got a credit card to use for paying for work travel etc, and initially paid it off each month when my expenses were paid back to me. I also got an Oasis storecard, which in the beginning I would pay off each month. I worked for three years, and the more I worked the more expensive my tastes got. I was offered an overdraft and took it, spent it and then next month went to increase my overdraft to £1000.

The person who increased it made a mistake and increased it to £10,000. I told myself I'd just spend a bit of it and pay it back. I didn't. I spent the lot.

In the meantime I left my full-time job and went to university. I had two months off before going to uni and lived off my overdraft for those - I think I started uni at around -£6000.

I was so used to living out of my overdraft I just carried on, I spent all my student loan, and then took out any credit cards or store cards I got offered. The interest on my overdraft alone was at over £100 per month. At Christmas 2004 the interest that hit my account took me over the £10,000 limit. I was flagged up somewhere and called into the bank.

They were incredulous at my stupidity upon being asked what I'd spent it all on and I said going out, clothes, holidays etc. I was sat crying in the bank, worried I was going to be prosecuted for spending the money. As students can't be given loans I was given the equivalent of a mortgage on a houseboat, and I worked part time through uni, sometimes doing two jobs to make the repayments to it. The whole time I was at uni I was convinced I would leave and get some kind of wonderous £30k job. That never happened.

I finished uni in 2007 and went to see if I could get a consolidation loan for the initial loan and all the credit and store cards I needed over £16,000. I was refused.

I moved home to my parents after a very messy relationship break up in 2007 and confessed to them about my credit and storecards. I couldn't face owning up about the overdraft. My parents balanced transferred the amount I owed to a 0% credit card on the agreement I closed all the accounts and paid £100 per month to the 0% card.

I closed some. But racked up debt on the cards again.

At the start of this year I owed money to my parents, 4 credit cards and 2 storecards, as well as a £1750 overdraft. I was managing to pay just over all the minimum payments, but didn't seem to be getting anywhere near clearing any of them. I just kept plodding along and in July moved into a flat with a friend. I still owed my parents £1800 at this point, but they cleared the amount for me.

At the end of August I decided to approach the bank again to ask for a consolidation loan. I needed £6700. I was so shocked when I was approved, and told that the monthly repayments would be £162, down from the nearly £400 per month I was spending on debt repayments.

I still think I'm being charged an extortionate amount of interest, the total amount was for over £9700. But this will be paid off in five years, and living with just one monthly repayment has been so much easier.

So why the diary?

After another relationship break up I'm struggling. I equate being happy to having nice things. The urge to get a credit card and splash out on new clothes etc is so high at the moment. Being single I have the pressure of going out to meet someone, to do more socialising, sitting in alone is so depressing.

I use spreadsheets to keep track of everything I spend, but being able to write things out, and have other people who understand reading will help.

I'm also considering moving home to my parents so I can save up a house deposit. I'm terrible at saving, how on earth am I going to save a 10% deposit?

Getting the loan has kickstarted me into changing my ways, I'd say it was my LBM, realising that in five years I could be debtfree. I'm really careful now with what I buy - but I'm finding it very hard to stay in line with spending on socialising. I seem to have buyers guilt, but don't have the same remorse at getting more cash out of the bank to spend on going out with friends.

So that's it. A lengthy first post - sorry.

TotallyInzane

Welcome & Well done Skintfoodie

You've come to a place of like thinking people - who understand the emotions you are/have been going through. You have done a great thing by starting a dairy, as it's a very helpful tool as well as a great place to get helpful comments & ideas.

I have found if you start a daily spending record on here, it really helps you realize how much you spend on what.

I look forward to your future posts.

Take care TI

Skintfoodie

Hi TI

Thank you for commenting. I find it hard to get people to understand my debt problems, and I find it hard to say no and feel like I'm letting them down if I don't agree to whatever thing they're wanting me to do/go to/spend on.

I will definitely post my spending on here, just reading through other diaries has been so inspirational.

Skintfoodie

I'm now dithering about if I should go and get some wine from the shop. I've been off work since Weds with a cold, today is the first day I feel human again, with being off I've hardly spent anything this week, so in theory can afford the wine... but I still can't decide...

BEAT_THE_DEBT

Get the wine lol x

Skintfoodie

Thanks BTD I'm going to. I've got myself upset now, am trying to learn to knit (a cheap hobby and way of making homemade presents for people) but the tutorials on youtube are too fast and now I feel like some kind of idiot. Wine is needed!

BEAT_THE_DEBT

Baby steps. Debt is accrued over time and takes time to reduce be easy on yourself you have started thats the main thing. Enjoy the wine x

Skintfoodie

I had the wine last night, but resisted crisps/ chocolate etc.

Spend for Saturday - £5.65 (cash)

I watched X factor and then Nowhere Boy and took myself off to bed.

Today I'm supposed to be going on a long bike ride, although the friend I'm going with hasn't been in touch about it yet...

Beencounting

Hi Skintfoodie

Welcome to diary land, I'm a recent convert to diary writing too . I find it helps to write things down or they're all just muddle in my head :rotfl:

Hope your friend turns up for the bike ride, exercise is great for making us optimistic...I should take my own advice here though, I haven't exercised for ages :rotfl:

Good luck

Been

Skintfoodie

Hi Been

Thanks for reading. If I'm honest I'm sat here kind of hoping she'll cancel, it's raining out... Although I definitely need the exercise!

Ah as I type she just text, we're meeting at 11.30am...

I will check out your diary!

Beencounting

Ah well!! Hope you enjoy your ride despite the rain!

I'm off out in the rain soon too to drop off some brochures!

Been