what are the best value dating sites?

coin_operated_girl

Phew! I'm finally up to date with all the gossip on this thread Sounds like things are picking up for people

sapphireeye wrote: »

I've been on 4 very long dates with my guy now, the last 2 lasted all day and they've all been really great and I feel very lucky that the first person I met off a dating website is exactly how he came across on his profile!

Thats great news. Got any more dates lined up?

Quick question for those for those who have or had a relationship with someone they met on a dating site: when people ask you how you met, do you tell the truth?

I hope everyone has better luck in their love lives this year then they did last year!

There_Goes_Trouble

Haven't had to do it Coin Op Girl, but I guess it's up to you as long as you and your fella stick to the same story!

You could always bend it a bit and reply with the name of the place where you actually physically both met, you don't have to reveal how you came to be in the same place at the same time... so you could say 'we met in a pub' without actually lying if that was the first time you actually met.

I wouldn't have a problem though saying we met over the internet, but then I know other people who met their partners this way, and most people whose reaction matters to me, know that I use internet dating sites anyway.

Thrifty85

Well, I'm back! Had a lovely time, just grabbed a quick bite to eat and then had a couple of drinks and a good natter at a pub. We get on really well but I'm just not sure if there's a spark between us. Has anybody else been in a situation where there wasn't an initial spark but it grew over time? I'd like to see him again to see if something develops but don't want to lead him on either.

Coin op Girl - I would be happy to tell people where we'd met. I was a bit embarrassed about it when I first tried an internet dating site a couple of years ago but to be honest there's so many people doing it now I really don't mind telling people how we met. Although I haven't had a relationship lasting longer than 3 months with someone I've met online so it's not really been an issue!

sapphireeye

coin_operated_girl wrote: »

Thats great news. Got any more dates lined up?

Quick question for those for those who have or had a relationship with someone they met on a dating site: when people ask you how you met, do you tell the truth?

I hope everyone has better luck in their love lives this year then they did last year!

Yes, I'm his date for his friend's wedding (ceremony and reception) tomorrow! I'm looking forward to it and he'll only know a couple of people other than his friend (he's like me, picks up a few friends here and there) so it's not like I'm suddenly going to be introduced to millions of his friends in one go!

As for the telling people, I've only been dating this guy for a few weeks but I've been honest with all of the people I've told (which is just my mum and a couple of close friends) and they've all been really positive and think I'm really brave and smart for putting myself out there rather than waiting for it to come to me. I think my mum is just pleased that I'm actually dating again after a few rubbish experiences! In my experience when you start telling people they all start coming out of the woodwork and telling you they've either tried it, thought about trying it or know several people who met their other half online. People don't tend to shout about the fact they met their OH online but actually I've recently discovered that more people have than I realised and it's not such a taboo subject anymore. It seems like everyone's had a go!

I read somewhere about making a bit of a joke about it, aka 'I bought him on ebay and the seller didn't accept returns' (I made that one up myself ) which I thought would be an entertaining way of broaching the subject if you're a bit embarrassed.

sapphireeye

Thrifty85 wrote: »

Well, I'm back! Had a lovely time, just grabbed a quick bite to eat and then had a couple of drinks and a good natter at a pub. We get on really well but I'm just not sure if there's a spark between us. Has anybody else been in a situation where there wasn't an initial spark but it grew over time? I'd like to see him again to see if something develops but don't want to lead him on either.

Coin op Girl - I would be happy to tell people where we'd met. I was a bit embarrassed about it when I first tried an internet dating site a couple of years ago but to be honest there's so many people doing it now I really don't mind telling people how we met. Although I haven't had a relationship lasting longer than 3 months with someone I've met online so it's not really been an issue!

I think it can be hard to feel a spark with someone that you've only just met for the first time because you're only just touching the surface with getting to know them. I suppose it depends what you define the 'spark' as. If you define the spark as butterflies and all that sort of stuff then I'd have to say that I'm from the camp that butterflies aren't necessarily a good thing because they're usually caused by fear and nervousness rather than being a sign of attraction! If you think he's attractive and you enjoy spending time with him then I'd go for another date and see what happens. I don't think he could accuse you of leading him on because the whole point of dating someone is to get to know them, but I think people forget that sometimes because I think dating is dying in the UK, people don't really date anymore (or people in their early-mid twenties like me don't seem to), rather they just jump straight into a relationship without having got to know each other and then break up a couple of weeks later.

There_Goes_Trouble

Thrifty85 wrote: »

Has anybody else been in a situation where there wasn't an initial spark but it grew over time? I'd like to see him again to see if something develops but don't want to lead him on either.

Not me personally, but a couple of my friends have told me their relationships grew rather than sparked.

One friend, she hadn't really given her now husband a second glance until someone told her he fancied her. (they worked together). She then took more of an interest and it grew from there but he hadn't caught her eye at all until she had a reason to notice him. They've been married 12 or so years now, and recently she said to me (we were discussing the subject) "I didn't fall in love with him for his looks".

Another friend positively disliked her now husband when he started working at the same office. Over time she got to know him better, found she actually liked him after all and again, it grew from there.

I think that's the down side of internet dating, it encourages you to make a snap decision based on a few messages and/or a few words and photos. I think you're wise to give it time.

Scotty1.7

Cheers for the birthday wishes.

Well- I think I've almost messaged every girl who sounds interesting within a 10 mile radius on POF, all them are either nasty spiteful stuck up fakes or ignorant so-and-so's

Internet dating is very much a female shopping environment,

System

Is it so much to ask for that someone says more than just "hi"? Or am i being to harsh? Maybe they're painfully shy?

Lotus-eater

Scotty1.7 wrote: »

Internet dating is very much a female shopping environment,

It is not

dude, you are putting out negative vibes like there is no tomorrow.

If you were my brother I would tell you to stop worrying about yourself and enjoy what you are.
Enjoy your life, have fun, do what you want to do.

You're not the perfect bloke, few of us are, that's what we are, we have to realise that.
What we are, is what we are, dude, you can't prevent that.

You have to be happy with what you are, once you are that, someone else can join you on the journey and it can be fun.

But you don't seem happy with what you are.

Sorry if I'm miles off and I won't comment on this thread any more.

LisaB85

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Is it so much to ask for that someone says more than just "hi"? Or am i being to harsh? Maybe they're painfully shy?

You're not being harsh, I have to bite my fingers to stop myself sending a sarky reply when I get a one word message like that.

Even shy people can manage a 'how are you?' at the least xx