17 yr old pregnant girl

happy_but_skint

Hi

Could she sell some of her clothes which are getting tight via ebay and use the profit to buy some maternity wear? Are you a member of your local freecycle it maybe worth a look.

I was 18 when I had my first, I got sacked as soon as they found out I was pregnant and all I was entitled to was JSA until my son was born. That was 11 years ago but my niece is in the same position and unable to claim anything.

Good luck and congratulations x

nannymiaow

My question would be why are 2 children having a baby? Would they be going ahead with the pregnancy if there were no welfare benefits and they had to face the financial consequences of their actions?

I don't think you are doing them any favours by making life so easy even down to getting the taxpayers to fund a bigger house to accomodate them.

Fiver29

nannymiaow wrote: »

My question would be why are 2 children having a baby? Would they be going ahead with the pregnancy if there were no welfare benefits and they had to face the financial consequences of their actions?

I don't think you are doing them any favours by making life so easy even down to getting the taxpayers to fund a bigger house to accomodate them.

Maybe they don't believe in killing babies? Not everyone is purely motivated by money.

tagq2

nannymiaow wrote: »

My question would be why are 2 children having a baby?

Probably they had sex.

Would they be going ahead with the pregnancy if there were no welfare benefits and they had to face the financial consequences of their actions?

The last three thousand years of civilisation (or lack thereof) will probably give you an answer you find unsatisfactory.

I don't think you are doing them any favours by making life so easy

OP is doing them and society lots of favours by helping them. By giving them space to educate themselves and to give a more secure environment for the child, OP is giving them the opportunity to remain healthy and to grow to the point that all three can eventually contribute rather than struggle in comparative destitution.

even down to getting the taxpayers to fund a bigger house to accomodate them.

On the list of things I'd question government funding for, this is so far down from the top of the pile it's not even worth worrying about.

nat21luv

Fiver29, I agree. I had my first child at 17 and was in full time employment and renting a flat with my 20yr old partner. We managed ok, money was tight but there was ways and means, I used to walk 2 miles to and from work everyday until I went on maternity leave at 37weeks, used to buy the absolute basics and family regularly brought round a hot dinner for us. We made it work.

So to hear that you tried to convince your son and DIL to have an abortion sickens me, especially when you have a 11week old baby yourself. My own mother tried to do the same thing and our relationship has never been the same, I will never forgive her.

Anyway, yes your son should get a job, I too had a part time job whilst doing my A-Levels(I took them a year early) and managed fine. I was actually grateful for the extra money and perhaps your DIL should find way's of making money if she cant find work; surveys, daily clicks, ebay, crafting....

I_love_Harrison

nat21luv wrote: »

Fiver29, I agree. I had my first child at 17 and was in full time employment and renting a flat with my 20yr old partner. We managed ok, money was tight but there was ways and means, I used to walk 2 miles to and from work everyday until I went on maternity leave at 37weeks, used to buy the absolute basics and family regularly brought round a hot dinner for us. We made it work.

So to hear that you tried to convince your son and DIL to have an abortion sickens me, especially when you have a 11week old baby yourself. My own mother tried to do the same thing and our relationship has never been the same, I will never forgive her.

Anyway, yes your son should get a job, I too had a part time job whilst doing my A-Levels(I took them a year early) and managed fine. I was actually grateful for the extra money and perhaps your DIL should find way's of making money if she cant find work; surveys, daily clicks, ebay, crafting....

They both said no & i've supported they're decison.

I had an abortion at 19 so I know what it's like & even though i've had 4 children since I don't regret my decision as I knew I wasn't ready for a baby.

I_love_Harrison

pcombo wrote: »

Maybe use the 300 bursary towards a private termination.

Child at 17 is a disgrace.

He doesn't get it in one go as it is spread out through the year.

They don't want a termination & as she is 13 weeks now they would be unlikely to get one.

worried_jim

What a sad cycle of events. Mother of eight, two when same age as daughter, kicks out daughter for following the same example she has set. I can see this whole sorry affair being repeated in about another 17 years.
I think the OP is making and doing the best. I agree that her son should continue his education as it is the only way out of this but why hasn't the mantra of contraception being drummed into those involved and just how soon will it be until the poor girls brothers and sisters are all in this same situation.

OP I wish you all and your (new) family the best in getting this sorted, I am sure that there will be some point in the future when things will start to be better.

p.s.- In about six months time give your son a big box of condoms.

nat21luv

I_love_Harrison wrote: »

i'm already disappointed enough for all of us & tried to convince them to have an abortion already but they were dead set against it.

'supported their decision'

POPPYOSCAR

Hi I Love Harrison, hope you are ok.

I think it is a great thing that you are doing in giving this girl your support, take no notice of the nasty posts,as always, some having nothing else to do.

Look on freecycle, many people give away maternity clothes, baby clothes etc.

When you can get past the trauma of it all I hope you can look forward to being Grandma to this baby - it is the best feeling in the world!!