Time off for bereavement?

Barebear

This is a very sensitive issue that I have never dealt with before. One of the guys in my team has been off due to the sudden death of his future father-in-law. Him and his fiance are to be married before Christmas this year.

What length of time is acceptable for this, he has been off for two weeks already, and how should I approach his return to work when he does?

LL30

How awful for him, and how lovely to see an employer being so sensitive towards his needs. Is he off 'sick' at the moment, or is it compassionate leave? Have you spoken to him about a possible return date? Maybe a phased return would work well for him, but it'd probably be a good idea to talk it through with him as everyone is different in these situations.

dzug1

A week's paid compassionate leave was the norm in one organisation I know. After that it would be paid leave for as long as the individual wanted - as long as he had any left.

Bean_Counter

We vary the amount of compassionate leave depending on circumstances and then only for close relations. For example if you are an only child you will have more organising of funerals etc to do than if you are the youngest of four brothers. We would normally say up to one week at the very max and none after the funeral date except in very exceptional circumstances.

Whilst this may seem not very generous, we find it works well as an employer given previous perceived abuses of the system.

Barebear

It's all "compassionate" leave so far. No eating into the annual leave (he has none left anyway as he has taken all five weeks to get married. He hasn't been off since April, so I think he needs a break, just a sad situation has arisen to offer him this.

He is worthy of very good treatment as he really does give a lot to the company.

whitewing

You will also need to be seen to be fair for other staff it may happen to in the future.

I would have thought he'd need to be back soon, or at the very least be taking unpaid leave after the first fortnight.

LL30

Barebear wrote: »

It's all "compassionate" leave so far. No eating into the annual leave (he has none left anyway as he has taken all five weeks to get married. He hasn't been off since April, so I think he needs a break, just a sad situation has arisen to offer him this.

He is worthy of very good treatment as he really does give a lot to the company.

You obviously really value him, and your compassion will be very much appreciated by him, I'm sure. I suppose you need to consider the affects of his absence on the company, how you can manage his absence and what you can afford. It might also be worth considering how other employees might react to this - will the expect/be given the same treatment (I know that sounds dreadful, but people can be funny creatures regardless of circumstance) It sounds like you've a good working relationship, so it's probably a good idea to give him a ring and talk it through with him and find out where he's at. His GP would more than likely sign him off after a bereavement anyway if necessary and you can't sustain the compassionate leave.

You sound a great employer! (I'm jealous!!)

SandC

Well I think you are being too generous to be honest. I would have asked him to get a doctor's note at least.

Most companies have basic procedures which are usually quite strict, but management are able to use their discretion. As you've said re this employee, you would tend against offering extended compassionate leave towards someone whose attendance wasn't good etc.

I had one week off when my father passed away. Then another day for the funeral as it was nearly two weeks before that happened. I accept he is probably close to his in laws to be but you are rather setting a precedent in this as most company policies apply to close relatives only and even ours states one day to attend funeral or 3 days if you're organising the funeral. In reality unpaid leave is usually granted or sick leave done in the usual way.

I would be asking him when he will be coming back. I suspect this time off is really him looking after his fiance.

Acc72

Barebear wrote: »

He is worthy of very good treatment as he really does give a lot to the company.

Although I agree with your sentiment, it does not work like that in reality.

What is in your procedures ? - you need to treat all employees the same.

eg. what would you do if a parent of a more "difficult" employee passed away - would you treat them differently ?

To be honest, 2 weeks off (so far) on full pay following the death of a future father in law seems a long time - have they indicated when they are likely to return to work (I would expect such a good employee to keep up to speed with their plans).

MFSaver

Having been in the same boat as your employee, I suggest the following.

1. Have a brief chat with him when he returns. Show your support and offer to be available to talk if/when he wants to do so.
2. Let him get on with work. Keeping busy can help some people. I found it helpful that my boss was fair, instead of being too soft, when it came to my work.
3. Depending on the size of your company/team, you might want to have a brief chat with everyone just before he comes back. Everyone crowding the guy as soon as he comes back will not help him at all. In my first couple of days back at work, I got a lot of people dropping by with cards and condolences. However some people still did the same two to three weeks later. Although I appreciated their empathy, it affected my rhythm a great deal. It is stressful enough trying to keep everything together and not break down in the workplace in front of colleagues.

Keep things simple. It is tempting to try too hard to be helpful, but he grieve at his own pace. Just try to keep everything else as normal as possible for him.

bargainbetty

Our usual rule is up to two weeks compassionate leave for an immediate family member (parent, child, spouse, sibling) up to a three days plus the funeral day for close external family (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents etc) and possibly a funeral day for wider family.

You can't say that a better employee should get more - it is discriminatory under constructive dismissal rules (doesn't have to be colour/race/gender to be discrimination) and you would be wise to get the whole thing on paper for everyone.

Two weeks for a father-in-law is very generous, and is probably about him looking after his missus, as others have said. However, if you do not place some reasonable measure on this, you might face every other employee trying something similar, and a lot of bad feeling when you have to refuse.

Give him a call, let him know that the last two have been compassionate leave, but you have to know when he is returning. If he needs more time that's fine, but it will be unpaid leave or holiday.

You are a great boss, but you are still running a business. Terrible quandry to be in, good luck