The looking to stop and change direction diary

silkglade

Hi

Woo hoo..... Payday today and therefore last payment made off the Sainsburys CC - will just have a small final interest only payment to finish it all off next month now.

Happy Christmas everyone, hope you have a really fantastic one.

silkglade

Hi Diary.....

Another card gone and yet again left with another really down feeling!!!

What on earth is wrong with me????

I am getting fed up now with the fact that as each debt is cleared and I should feel both proud and happy that it has gone, I instead feel so down that all I want to do is cry. I just feel ashamed that we are in this position (and the fact I suppose that we can't share our news with anyone maybe something to do with it).

I am back on meds now for anxiety and depression (I did not want to but I had no choice). It took me months to actually make the appointment.

I have been avoiding coming on here and putting it all down as I do not want to burden anyone any more..... Just come on here now to report payments and progress with money. Nothing else. No chit chat, and no socialising.... Just pop on report money and then gone again till the next time. I feel so lonely and alone.

Have a long time to wait now till another payment can be made as I usually wait until just before the next Payday to make the payment so that the money is there in case something happens and it is needed. I am not making payments off cards to then spend on them if something goes wrong, plus I am making payments off a card that is not being re issued and therefore would not be able to have access to that money.

This month has been different though and I made the additional payment on Payday as all I wanted was to have the balance showing clear for Christmas day (which it did). But that means that 1 I don't have the additional payment to look forward to making the week before payday, and 2 I am feeling really skint and vulnerable money wise as there is only 6p spare in the account this month.

merlot123

Silkglade, you are not alone though as you venture on your debt free journey, many of the peeps on this board are going through it as well, and its a board for mutual help and support not judgement.

I appreciate you have other issue too with anxiety, you should post them here, again some of the other peeps can help you with this, this is a board for sharing problems, do not feel you cannot put your thoughts/concerns in your post, because you can. You may actually help some others by posting your feelings and worries, as I said you are not alone, other people may be lurking who are feeling the same as you.

Congratulations on repaying another debt, remember its baby steps all the way, its not a race.

merlot123