The looking to stop and change direction diary

silkglade

I need to try and stay more positive than yesterday....... Everything and I mean everything just got to me, ended up having a really good cry and started to feel a little better after that.

New week and new goals.

Should have the refund in the bank by this time tomorrow..... Which will go straight out to pay off the Barclaycard (be so glad to see the back of this now as been dragged out since the 1st of the month)

We need to live on only £5.11 till Monday next week (pay day) though not sure how this will work as littlest needs nappies in addition to needing bread and milk. :eek:

Starting to run out of meal ideas too as fridge is almost empty and freezer not far behind now, we have been making things go alot further by cutting portion sizes though.

Lets see what this week brings shall we.

Keentobedebtfree

Hi silkglade,

Just popping in to say hello and offer some empathy! I'm in a similar situation, having been the one dealing with the finances etc and I've come to the conclusion that we shouldn't beat ourselves up about it! I know that budgeting/being careful/talking about it at an earlier stage would have made a big difference but you are dealing with it and facing up to it now and you WILL see the debts gradually decrease.

It's a tough wee spell, but you'll get through it!

Good luck with this week

wot-a-mess

Hi Silkglade,

I've been going thro very similar emotions trying to beat the debt. But we're all in this together & many of us in similar circustances. So try to keep u're chin up

silkglade

Thank you Keentobedebtfree and wot-a-mess,

It really does help to know there are others that know and are going through exactly the same as you when you are.

Thank you both for your heartfelt messages of support.

I am hoping that once tomorrow is here that I will be feeling much better as should have a card paid off and then a week later my dads last payment too. That will be 2 things off my signature in the next week.... looking forward to removing them I can tell you.

Trying so very hard to stay positive today......

silkglade

Yet another day of feeling down and fed up!!!

Refund is NOT in my account and yet again I phoned them...... Payment is being SENT today and SHOULD be in the bank by FRIDAY.... I am fed up with being LIED to all the time and not really know what is going on!!!!!! :mad:

Also feeling rubbish today as properly come down with the kids cold, sore throat thing. :huh:

I am SOOOOOOOO fed up and fed up with being fed up, why can't something actually go right for me?

I just want to scream really.

chevalier

Ok take a breath. Just like a tanker, it takes a long time to slow it down, and then an equally long time to turn it around and get it going the other way. If you are lucky you don't hit a reef along the way, and eventually continue sailing on your new course calmly.

BUT until then some random thoughts for you.

First off it isn't JUST your fault. You and your partner are a TEAM and if he didn't bother about the finances and 'let' you do it all, then that isn't fair on you. So now is the time to make sure from now on you DO act as a team on this issue.

Ref xmas. Have a look at the Grabbit board on this site. The trick is to make that £50 per child go as faaaaaaaaar as it can. Hotdealsuk is also a good sight for getting bargains. Or try and make xmas money neutral by doing extra shifts, or doing online surveys etc.

Good luck
chev

silkglade

On a more positive note I have managed to change both OH and my mobile phone tariff's down.

I have managed to change MY tariff from £25.53 a month to £21.50 a month.

I have managed to change OH tariff from £32 a month to £21.50 a month. :T

There is a great new O2 tariff that offers 200 mins and unlimited texts for £15.50 and then we added the 500mb internet which includes 20 picture messages for £6.... making the total £21.50.

It is a brand new tariff that only came out on Friday.

silkglade

Thank you for the great advice chevalier, what a fantastic explanation to the start of the journey. :T

I am now definitely over the whole blame thing... just got to look forwards and not backwards. Though apparently I am stubborn and refuse to listen to OH anyway and therefore nothing is his fault as even if he had tried (which he did not) I would not have listened to him.

I did explain to him ages ago that he will need to be firm with me as when I get down my coping mechanism is to spend money to make myself feel better (which is why my down days are sooooo down at the moment as I am NOT spending any money to make myself feel better). It might not seem much but it is a huge achievement really... but makes me worse for a bit longer, but will make tackling the debts easier as not still going up.

I said that he did not have to say a definite NO to everything all the time, just maybe a yes we can have this, but not NOW.

I am definitely interested in the web sites you have mentioned as I want to be able to spread the money as far as possible. :A

I have overtime in this months and next months salary on it's way to me.... End of OCTOBER and NOVEMBER that is..... hopefully that will be xmas paid for with a bit left over for the debt... but we will see what it works out as (have to be careful with overtime otherwise before I know it I will have an overpayment of Child Tax Credit hanging over me). :eek:

beckseven

Thanks for popping into my diary Silkglade. I can really identify with your diary-I am a 'coper' too and I always pretend everything is ok to my OH whilst spending on my CC. You can do it! I've felt down when i've totted up my debts and ashamed but at least we're dealing with it now.

silkglade

Can I just say thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to read my very mixed up emotional diary. :T

I am suffering with anxiety and depression alot at the moment and that is why on one post I seem totally fine and almost normal and then in the next so low that I am unable to cope with anything

My mission today is to try and pick myself up a little bit as I hate feeling so down all the time.

I have found out recently that I things at work will be changing soon... No idea when yet, but i doubt they will make it happen as soon as possible. :mad:

So I have a real race on my hands with regards to my debt too as due to a restructure at work my job will not exist any more soon and to stay there I will have to take a £250 a month pay drop, I do not know when this is going to happen but it will have a massive difference in the amount I will be able to throw at my debt and I think that it may put my DFD back by about 2 years!!!!! :eek: