Desperate

Verbatim

Just wanted to look in Bh to say welcome.

Hope things are looking more positive for you now. Welldone on having the courage to face up to it all.

Bloody_Hell_2

Well, I've seen the Doctor. I've got to go back, she wants to see me with my husband so she can ask his view on my 'ups & downs' - to see if the ups are reaching 'manic' or not.

She's encouraged me to speak to him - I should be at work but have called in and used a flexi day. I want to tell him.

I think i'm on here to build up the courage to call him at work at ask him to come home - it's got to be done with the kids out of the house.

I've been given some anti-depression tablets to take until the doctor can see me again, she is sorting an apointment with a physciatrist (sorry, I can't spell!) and she's gonna get me some phone numbers for debt counselling.

I still feel alone - but I think that's how my head is rather than reality.

Haughley_Harridan

I just wanted to say that having suffered from clinical depression on and off for the last twenty years, I know how you feel. Some people drink, some smoke, some do drugs, starve themselves, hurt themselves and there are those of us who try to fill the hole in our lives by buying stuff. If we surround ourselves with things we can focus on them and not on the torment inside the head.

Then suddenly the broken nights sleep, the guilt, the spiral of debt and the horror of what you have done for a few worthless pieces of cloth and plastic.

You have done the right thing by coming clean with all of us and everyone will support you. Practical things you can do now include selling all that stuff on Ebay or at a car boot sale - tell your husband, it is an early spring clean - freeze your credit cards, go to Citizens Advice (they are free and very helpful) and most importantly, stop beating yourself up. You are not alone. Take a very deep breathe and look around the website - there are a lot of us out here. Then pat yourself on the back - you are having an Lightbulb Moment and the only way is up from here.

Whether you tell your husband or not is entirely your decision. However, if you do decide to tell him, perhaps showing him this thread would help explain the situation more clearly than you in a highly emotional state. I suspect he knows something is up.

Good luck, keep with us, you will get through this.

mrsmortenharket

bloody hell, you sound exactly like me.

Honest you do.

MY dh found out about my latest ones last week. Its all in my sig at the bottom.

I have been on anti depressants for years. They have not worked.

I have been referred to a psychiatrist. I have my assessment on Monday (yesterday) & am waiting for my proper app't with the psychologist.

I too wonder if I am bi-polar.

PM me if you like.

Good luck with telling your dh

Lisa xxx

hypno06

BH, have been thinking of you today - how have you got on with telling your husband?

Remember we are here if you need/want us or you can PM if you would prefer.

You have made such good progress so far, you will get there x

bank_of_slate

Hi,
I too am just the same, I'm currently on Fluoxetine 40mgs daily, I have days when I feel positively charged with excitement and enthusiasm at nothing in particular, then the next day I can wake up feeling like there's no reason to get out of bed etc and there's no pattern to it either, it's totally unpredictable.

I built up debts 3 times (each time was a higher amount) and paid them off myself before finally having my lightbulb moment and finding this amazing site and forum.
My husband had no idea until he opened a credit card statement for £4,700 one day by mistake.
He was so angry and upset at finding it out.
I wished that I'd had the guts to tell him before then but I 'never got round to it'

I always had a big problem with spending, I would rely on my overdraft and not think about it until a letter came from the bank telling me there was nothing to pay the mortgage one month (Hello lightbulb!!!!)

Since then I cut up my current account card and credit card, opened a step account at Natwest and I have a set amount going into there every month, that's MY money and when it's gone...it's gone.
I can't trust myself with any cards now, If I had one and told myself that 'I'd be good this time' as soon as I saw something I wanted, all good intentions disappeared.
I wish you luck babe, huge hugs.
You CAN do it, if I can, anyone can!
...Linda xx

Bloody_Hell_2

I've done it, I've told my hubby.

He's such a good, kind man, I don't deserve him, I really don't and I don't understand after what I've put him through why he would want to stay with me, but he says he will.
I've phoned all my CC & loans up to get proper figures of what I owe and i'm going onto the cccs website with him to see if we can get a DMP sorted.

We have a very small amount of money in an ISA (about £750) would we be better withdrawing this before any DMP is done?
We are desperate for a washing machine (we have to use a screwdriver to turn the handle on it and it sounds like a plane is landing) and if we pay all the debts this month so I don't go into arrears, we could do with some of the cash to help with food until everything set up -

I'm so glad I found this website, I really don't know what i'd have done If I didn't!

I have real goals - I know i'm going to 'get my head sorted' now with the doctors
I have told my husband the whole truth
I've even opened up and told my kids & my parents! it's like the flood gates have been opened!!

Thank you all so much

millionaire_in_training

Just read this whole thread and well done for taking your debt and life in hand. You will survive yoy know. Good luck and be strong. We are all fighting the same debt demons. Take care xx

bank_of_slate

That's it, you're a dfw convert now!
Well done you, I bet it feels like twenty tonnes of weight has been lifted!
Have you shown your hubby this site?
I am SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!
NOW you're in control
...Linda xx

oopalah

Hi BH, You sound like a really nice person. Well done with your progress so far. I've had so much support from the people on here, you couldn't be in better hands. Good luck!
Oopalah.