I need help with my son!

Lateral

He's 7 years old, and something just isnt right.
He flips out into a rage over tiniest things, by rage, I mean he will hit, punch, spit, intentionally break things and be destructive. It goes on for hours, until he ends up in a t-wrap hold for everyones safety. he scares my younger child, and my older child stays in her room for her own safety.
He actually scares me, He is on half days at school because of this behaviour, and we have a social worker, again due to his behaviour.

His rages will go on for hours and hours, and its near impossible to get him out of it. When the school have a problem with him, they send him home, but when we have a problem, what can we do ? We've tried getting hold of social worker for days now, because he is becomming unmanagable, And the SW just doesnt get back to us, we have no outside help or support, but I need help now, for 12 out of 14 days he's and I hate to say this, just been plain horrible, and it gets to the point where I think maybe it would be better to put him in care.

The scariest part though is when he goes into a 'false calm' as my husband have named it, he sits there, breathing normally, acting calm, but theres a manic smile on his face, and you just know that any minute now your going to be hurt and back to square one. He's told me he wants to kills me, now I know he's only a 7 year old boy, but this REALLY scares me, I just dont know how to manage him, Doctors wont help, the social have said its all our fault, the school, although liase with SW & us, really cant help much at all.
I've been put on antidepressants because it got so bad that I just couldnt physically cope. I had a breakdown.

He does get disiplined, he does get loved, he does get attention ( alas both positive & negative ) I just dont know what to do. and I dont know how a moneysaving site can help, but I've made a alias to post this on, as you've helped me in the past.

Please, anyone, ideas, what can I do, short of draggin him up the hospital myself ?

kazwookie

When was he last seen by the doctor?

Have you / your husband been to see the doctor without your son being there?

renegade

How long has this been going on? Is there any one thing that triggers it all, anything traumatic happened to him,new school,moved house,jealousy,loss of a loved one?
It sounds like ADHD but I am sure your doctor would have referred you to a clinic for assessment for him.
Why do SS say it is all your fault?
I think you may need to provide more information before anyone can suggest ways to help you on here.

Lateral

He was seen by the doctor a few months ago, where we asked for a refferal to CAMHS to be made (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services)

However we got a letter back saying that the behavior he displayed wasnt sufficent enough to warrent there involvement, so it went back to the doctor, who said theres nothing he can do, but request the Pediatrition see him at the hospital, we have a appointment for end of October for that.

The social believe that as there is no medical evidence pointing towards why my son behaves as he does, then it is obviously a bad home/bad parent issue.

I dont want anyone thinking I'm just trying to fob this off and get him medicine, thats not my intention, I just dont know how to help him further.

Lateral

renegade wrote: »

How long has this been going on? Is there any one thing that triggers it all, anything traumatic happened to him,new school,moved house,jealousy,loss of a loved one?
It sounds like ADHD but I am sure your doctor would have referred you to a clinic for assessment for him.
Why do SS say it is all your fault?
I think you may need to provide more information before anyone can suggest ways to help you on here.

Its been happening mildly for over a year now, but its only been the last, umm, 2 months, that its really got out of my control, Nothing has changed in the home, apart from the involment of SS.

the_cat

So from the start of the school summer holidays? Could it be that the change/lack of routine in the holiday periods has unsettled him? Or if it started earlier, was there in incident or change at school to trigger it?

carefullycautious

Is there any chance of either yourself or husband taking him away for some quality one to one time. Being a middle child does not help as he probably gets lost in amongst the other two.

liney

Has your son been spending more time with particular children, or adults over the past 2 months?

CH27

I'd keep a record of all incidents.
I'd ask school to do the same. Can school refer him to a Behaviour Psychologist?

Have you tried sitting down with him & asking what is causing him to feel so bad?

Has he been watching unsuitable films or playing unsuitable games on the PS3?

victory

Lateral wrote: »

Please, anyone, ideas, what can I do, short of draggin him up the hospital myself ?

Record it, you can do this openly or districtly put the dvd recorder somewhere, when he has a flip out then you have proof, take it to the docs, show the SW, show anyone in authority, write down where it happened, the lead up, how long it lasted, try to be your own 'detective' the more actual visual/written facts you have the more the medical profession will take it seriously.

myonlysunshine

Hi Lateral,

Just wanted to ask when you mentioned that your son is on half days from school...is that because THE SCHOOL have requested that he only attends half days??

If he IS having problems at school too this will help get the doctors on board to get you a referral to a child physologist/ pediatrician asap.

My son is 17 years and has ADHD he was finally diagnosed at 11 after the child physcologist went to access him at school and she witnessed how much he was struggling to cope.

It took me years to get to that point because the doctors wouldnt refer me to anyone and blamed me and his dad seperating (when my son was 2 years old) for his behaviour problems.

You really need to get some help as soon as possible...YOU know your son better than ANYONE dont take no for an answer, your son will be struggling with this too and needs some support.

I hope you manage to get to the bottom of whats happening soon x