How do you deal with 'curtain twitchers'

Just_Plain_Jane

I don't think half these nosey barstewards know they're doing it.

Take my mother for example. We moved to a new area in 1980. Twenty-five years later she was still saying 'Oh I don't know many people locally, we're not from round here'. But if you pointed out any random passer-by she would say 'Well you know who she is don't you? She's that woman who...' and proceed to tell you the ins and outs of their personal life.

Dad wasn't much more discreet. If he couldn't see enough by yanking the curtain back, he'd stand out by the front gate to have a good gawp.

Mayflower10cat

Having lived in the S.E. and worked in London, (I'm originally a northerner) and now living in a rural, Miss Marple type village with gossip galore and neighbours who know your names and what you do and when, it's bliss living in a community of friendly, slightly nosy neighbours!!! The south east, especially London is so impersonal;- people just don't say 'hello' to each other or make conversation on buses or trains, it's actually very sad. Here, people really do care about each other - they do go and check on their elderly neighbours if they haven't seen them that day. The village shop delivers groceries to the older, frailer customers, they don't charge for the delivery, they just do it. Here, we were made to feel utterly at home within the first few days of moving in. Neighbours just dropped by with bottles of wine and/or plates of nibbles to 'check us out (!!!)' and say hello. I don't feel it's invasive, I feel very welcome and wanted here. It's a proper community in the real old fashioned sense of the word. Oh yes, there is plenty of news (gossip!!!) doing the rounds, always! But it's never malicious or unkind, just what's going on with the school/who's winning cake at the fete was actually bought from M&S/what the local council are doing/not doing about the potholes..... You get the idea. What I have noticed is, the people who are highly regarded by the village as actually 'giving something back' or really putting themselves out for a good cause or just simply being 'good neighbours' are only ever mentioned in 'local gossip' in the kindest possible way. If you treat others well and genuinely 'do as you would be done by' then your neighbours will watch out for you and rally round if you ever need practical help - and no-one will ever say a word against you.

So, I think it's lovely that people are interested in you and want to be involved (in some small part) in your life. I'm delighted that the 'neighbourhood watch' here is composed of all the curtain twitchers in the village. Simple 'neighbourliness' is a dying art in big towns and cities and I'm saddened by that fact.

gratefulforhelp_2

Honestly buggly I know how annoying neighbours can be (mine once called my parents to tell them we were having a pillowfight...the curtains were closed...and we weren't) and the old lady who currently lives next door quizzed me about why I hadn't opened ALL the curtains one morning (I was late for work).

But...roll with it, there are much worse character traits in neighbours (like being a complete psycho).

Steel_2

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Honestly buggly I know how annoying neighbours can be (mine once called my parents to tell them we were having a pillowfight...the curtains were closed...and we weren't)

A pillow fight? :rotfl:

What a bizarre thing to assume...

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Deep_In_Debt

I have a curtain twitching near neighbour. At first it used to wind me up when she used to tell me what time I left for work and what time I got home. However, one day she saw that my car hadn't moved from the car park for a couple of days and knocked on my door to see if I was ok and she seemed generally concerned. I was ok, just hadn't used the car for a couple of days as had a couple of days off work. I am actually quite glad for her to curtain twitch as I mainly live on my own and I know that she is looking out for me and notices my coming's and going's and checks up on me if she's not seen me for a few days and if my car hasn't moved.

I'm actually really friendly with her now and she gives me all the gossip about the people who live in my road!

thecatsnose

We were young and had just moved into our first house after doing it up for a month. We went out for a couple of hours, and when we came back there was a ladder up against the front of the house with the chap from next door up there in front of our bedroom window, and his Mrs and the old lady from the other side stood at our lounge window :eek: 'cleaning our gutters' apparantly, we got blinds soon after.

mrs_marty

I live in a small town and everyone knows everything including the stuff that don't and therefore make up :rotfl:

My neighbours are curtain twitchers but on the whole dont bother me as they are nice people in their own way, apart from one curtain twitcher nosey as hell gossips like hell and isnt nice, but I just blank her. Sadly lives right next door.

I think as well as there are so many young kids about and mine included it is reassuring that people do take interest on what is going on and strangers are fast noticed.

TinyToes

meeps wrote: »

My mum is becoming one of these since she retired- her trick is to leave her recycling bin out the front, and a basket of recyclables just inside the front door, so if there is something going on, she picks out a paper/milk bottle, and totters out with it to have a good old nosey..

oh my, this did make me giggle!! it sounds like the sort of thing i do lol, and im only in my late 20's! we live in a very quiet estate and my kitchen is at the front of our house so i cannot help but see when i am preparing dinner etc. I dont mean anything bad by it, i just like to know whats going on sometimes, think i inheritted this from my mother!! i love a bit of gossip hehe, my little old neighbour next door has been here since the houses were built so knows everything!! The things ive found out about my neighbour on the other side :eek: However there is an over powering neighbour who is plain annoying, she has calmed down a bit but at one point you couldnt go to the bin without her 'whistling' on you. I do consider myself a good neighbour tho, and if i hear my next door neighbours alarm i do investigate etc and make sure she is alright. A few years back our area flooded and i rescued and helped 2 elderly neighbours (one was 99 at the time and is now 101, and still living alone! wow)

lostinrates

Mayflower10cat wrote: »

The south east, especially London is so impersonal;- people just don't say 'hello' to each other or make conversation on buses or trains, it's actually very sad..

Having been the member of a central London residents association, and also moved to a different area of London when I met dh I stroingly dispute this. Withing a few weeks people at the local food store knew me, smiled, exchanged pleasantries, and I asked after their families. When I became ill and couldn't go out I used to spend a lot of time at the window. The gardener over the road at a posh house and I had always said hello, and one day I saw him stop DH...turned out he was asking where I was and dh told him I was ill...next thing, he and the gardener came up and the gardener asked if I'd take care of his dog in the mornings if he brought him up.

when I went back to dh's patch of london after a couple of years away I went into shops and people were all super enthusiastic. It wasn't even as if I were ever a good customer either, I just made time to pass the time of day with people.

My dad has worked abroad for a decade or so but essentially has been a londoner in the west end area his entire adult life. People at the independant shops, at pubs and restuarants and hotels all raise a hand in greeting as he walks past. Big shop door men all say Good morning and use his name.

London CAN be anonymous...which is great...but if you want to make it personal you can...it takes a little more effort because you have to say hello not wait for people to watch for your comings and goings.

SUESMITH_2

i still miss our neighbour; she took in our parcels, dealt with the postman, kept an eye on things and even cooked us pies. nothing nicer than coming home from a hard day at work and being shouted over to find she had been baking and had made stuff for us too, she said it was nice to have people to cook for. she was good to our kids and they used to like coming home from school and sitting on her wall having a chat.

but we were good neighbours too in our own way, oh would trim the hedge for her, light her boiler and on one occasion we got a phone call in the middle of the night to say she thought she could hear someone prowling and was scared. dear oh went round with his torch, searched the garden and then went in to make sure she was settled.

when we moved in we were in the same situation as you but as time passed we got to be very grateful for her.

a sad day when she died