Mum not coming to Hen Night!!!

ampafc

PrincessDonna2009 wrote: »

Why it is a brattish thing saying that, at the end of the day the hen night is on the Friday, she has to go work on the Saturday Morning, the hen night is not expensive for her, because I have already paid for and it is a for a meal at Bistro live, which you have a 3 course meal and then there's a live band, drinks are paid for, so why is that me being selfish in anyway? it's all paid for including transport?

Where I am from I have always known people to have their mum's on their hen night and she wanted to come from the start....I am not spoilt in anyway or form because my mum is never there for me anytime in the first time anyway, there's no need for her to say NO, she don't need to be in work until the next morning, why don't she just come for the meal and go home early?? It's her being selfish, she went to my sister's hen night, so why not mine?

As for spending money on a outfit, I paid for that as well and I have told her not to buy me anything for a wedding present! And she hasn't contributed anything to my wedding at all, it's been paid for by me and my partner and some from my partner's parents! I don't except her to with no money....As for her spending money on what she likes, she does I don't mind, I know she has her own life I didn't say that, is it wrong for me wanting my mum on my hen night??

Unless you know me, don't judge me!

What was the point in even starting this thread?! What did you hope to achieve by it?

LMCD

You need to calm down have a chat with your mum instead of ranting and tell her how you feel and sort it out so there is no bad feeling on the lead up to and on your wedding day.

susannthe3cs

think your self lucky really hun, my mum can't be arsed coming to my wedding, let alone my hen night xx and im 31 and shes 47 xx

Impet_Limpet

Try not to get too upset about it, not everything will go to plan so de stress and chat to your mum to clear any hard feelings.
Susan sorry to hear your mum isn't going to your wedding, it can be disappointing if there is someone you really want there who isn't going.
I didn't expect parents on a hen/stag do to be so unusual, I had my future MIL on my hen weekend (not my mum she lives nearly 2,000 miles away) and my H2B dad went on his stag weekend. We don't tend to do crazy stuff though that our parents would be ashamed of!

arbroath_lass

ellay864 wrote: »

I've never been on a hen night with a bride's mum there!

I've never been on a hen night where the bride's mum WASN'T there :rotfl:. Usually MIL to be too. Sorry, I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't invite their mum.

*Scottish*Lass*

I agree arbroath lass, any henny's I've been on have always had the mum & mil on them.

I think the op should stop whining and be grateful that she has her mum around and that she'll be there on her big day. Not everyone's that lucky.

melancholly

arbroath_lass wrote: »

I've never been on a hen night where the bride's mum WASN'T there :rotfl:. Usually MIL to be too. Sorry, I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't invite their mum.

i've known both (and stag dos too) - some who did really regretted it - drunk friends telling sordid stories of their drunken behaviour when younger or just being drunk in front of parents for the first time ever..... some who did loved it! horses for courses!

minerva_windsong

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Who on earth takes their mother on their hen night?

My mum went on both my sister's hen nights, one of my aunties went on one of my sisters' hen nights, and my OH's mum and nan went on his sister's hen night. Obviously it depends on your mum's personality, the kind of relationship you have with her and what you're doing - I probably wouldn't invite my mum to my hen do if it was going to be a big rowdy pink sparky cowboy hats and dubiously shaped straws type do, but then that's not my scene at all and I'd rather have something much more sedate like afternoon tea or something crafty and then a nice dinner in the evening, so I'd invite her along to that. And again depending what you're doing if you want mums and other relatives could always come along to part of the event, say coming to the dinner but then not going along to the club afterwards (although I personally would feel a bit mean for doing something which might exclude my mum as she'd probably have to travel to the hen).

Obviously the OP does have that kind of relationship with her mum and therefore I can understand why she wants her there, although admittedly it might not have been worded in the best way. I agree with the suggestion that maybe your sister should talk to her and try to persuade her to at least come for the meal if she doesn't want to stay out late as maybe she doesn't realise quite how important this is to you. Or maybe as others have said doing something for the family that's at a time when your mum can do it?

ETA: That said I'd definitely be apologising to her for the rant - even just a text saying, "Sorry, it was the heat of the moment and it's important to me that you come to my hen do" would help.

codemonkey

Ok, easy here. We've all had these moments where things don't go the way we want and we get upset and express it.

One thing that this wedding planning thingy has taught me is that people are bleedin nuts. They never react the way you'd expect, they let you down, they drive you up the wall and they make decisions which don't make any sense. Some of those decisions really hurt.

Donna, I'm sorry you're hurt by your mum's choice. I would be too. My mum didn't come to my hen, but that's probably for the best given what happened.. I went to a hen where the mum was there, and we played "I have never". I'll never forget the look on her daughters faces as the mum took shot after shot after shot.

Try not to let it get to you. You will enjoy your hen anyway and as long as she comes to the wedding, it will all be fine.

BugglyB

ampafc wrote: »

What was the point in even starting this thread?! What did you hope to achieve by it?

Ummm really if you're going to take that line whats the point of most of the threads on this wedding forum. 'Oh no my chair covers are late' 'oh wants to invite all his cousins' 'venue lady being nasty to me'. The OP wanted to let off some steam so why not? You didn't have to read/reply.

Whether people think its right or not that the mum is going to the hen party, she said she would be for ages then let the bride down at the last minute. For that reason I feel very sorry for her.