Mum not coming to Hen Night!!!

PrincessDonna2009

Hello Everyone

Need to vent badly, been ranting to my mum on the phone for the last 20 mins, because she has told me she can't come to my hen night, because she has to work on the Saturday. She is a cleaner and works through a agency, so every time she takes a holiday she don't get paid for it. She hold's 2 cleaning jobs down to keep herself going, rent, food etc....

But my argument is, which has upset me badly is that this hen night has been planned for like 5 months, why didn't she book the time off then!? Why pay your deposit if you know you ain't coming?!

Really upset's me because all I want is my mum to be there, is that much to ask for?

Sagz_2

What a shame - could the family have a whip round to make up your ma's lost wages? Maybe as an early Christmas present or something?

Or tell her not to bother with a wedding gift as you'd rather she came to your hen do.

PrincessDonna2009

Sagz wrote: »

What a shame - could the family have a whip round to make up your ma's lost wages? Maybe as an early Christmas present or something?

Or tell her not to bother with a wedding gift as you'd rather she came to your hen do.

Is it me or am I right in saying, why should everyone have a whip around because she will lose a day's pay, which is around £35...it's my hen night and my mum should be there no matter what. We shouldn't have to because she had £110 saved up ready for our wedding and then I found out that she has gone and bought a laptop off my bro for £60, but she already has 2 laptop's lying around the house and 1 is brand new! Why didn't she think well I can go to my daughter's hen night, lose a day's wage because I have £110 saved up anyway...

Don't get it!

Oldernotwiser

Who on earth takes their mother on their hen night?

*Louise*

Can't she just come along after work, what time does she finish?

tower

Hi, Maybe she just can't afford it,and is finding it hard to tell you.
Or what you/your friends have planned is not her cup of tea and she doesn't want to spoil the night.

ellay864

I've never been on a hen night with a bride's mum there!
Sorry but maybe it's just how I'm reading it but you come across like you feel your mum should spend her money how you want it. She's holding down 2 jobs, presumably things aren't easy financially for her. If she feels a laptop (which hopefully will last some time and may be essential to her) is more important than one night out then that's got to be her choice. If she promised she would come and knew how much it meant to you then she should have said something earlier and maybe you should try to talk and not rant. But I agree she may just not fancy it and doesn't know how to break it to you

Hollie84

My mums 60 and TBH i wouldnt dream of asking her to come and ive never been on a hen do where a parent has attended.Id say its more important for her to be at your wedding than your hen do

Miss_Orangey_Goodness

presumably the people who say they wouldn't dream of having their mums there have older mums? mine is 47 (im 29) and would love to have her there (including aunties!), she is more like a sister to me.

I agree with previous posters that perhaps she just hasnt had the heart to tell you she couldnt afford it....at least she will be there on the big day which will matter more, as much as you would love her to be a part of your hen night. Hope you have a wild time!

aliasojo

Hen nights (imo) are for letting your hair down, enjoying yourself with your girlfriends and generally more than likely acting in such a way that it would really be preferable for your Mum not to be there.

Perhaps the OP's Mum feels the same way and is using work as an excuse?

Whatever the reason, I think you need to accept her decision OP. The wedding itself is the important thing, as long as she's at that, then cut her some slack. I'm sure you'll have a good hen night regardless.

ellay864

I do have an older mum but that wasn't my perspective, and I do appreciate that if OPs mum knew how much it meant and had promised to be there then it's not nice to go back on it. But the mum also has her own life, and if she's struggling for money then she has a right to spend her cash as she sees fit. I'm assuming she will be at the wedding, which probably means spending money on new outfit. I'm guessing she'll also be buying a gift if not contributing in other ways to the wedding. To say she must also then spend her cash on a night out "she should be there no matter what" just comes across as very brattish, even if that's not OP meant.
I'm also a mum myself, was a single mum for a number of years, and can see it from the view of sometimes having to say no to your little darlings and put yourself first. Like I said, they need to talk, not OP just to rant at her