Do people not reply to party invites these days??

onlyroz

Spendless wrote: »

Because it's bloody rude that's why! If you are asked either you are already doing something and know that or you are free. If you don't want to go then politely refuse, don't just go if nothing better turns up in the interim.

Of course it's rude to not reply - but why is it rude to delay a response, especially if an RSVP date isn't given? I don't know why people find it so shocking that a kids' party isn't at the top of my priority list as a fun way to spend a weekend.

Spendless

onlyroz wrote: »

Of course it's rude to not reply - but why is it rude to delay a response, especially if an RSVP date isn't given? I don't know why people find it so shocking that a kids' party isn't at the top of my priority list as a fun way to spend a weekend.

3 weeks IME is a long time for a party invite but when I held my DD's last party I had to confirm figures and pay at least a week in advance so would therefore send invites out at least 2 for this type of case. Also I expect people to perhaps have planned something for the coming weekend already so would always give more than a week. Loads and loads of kid related things aren't my idea of fun but that's part and parcel of being a parent. Either you are going to a party or you aren't. You shouldn't be edging your bets hoping something more exciting comes along in the interim.

balancelife

I agree its rude to not reply or to delay replying, part invites are very rarely a case (from the organisers point of view) of "ah well lets just see who happens to have nothing better to do on the day", they tend to be planned to accomodate the number of kids they are expecting. you cant just use a party as a fall back option!

On the front of it not being a fun way to spend time ferrying them to parties of kids you dont really know - my husband def agree with that! I dont mind at the moment as I stay at the parties usually and chat to the other parents, or if I leave I find I can get some stuff done. actually he wasnt moaning when he took our daughter to a party on saturday and got to spend a couple of hours to himself looking in diy shops and reading the paper in the pub!
Anway, to that end if I dont know the kid and she isnt bothered about going or I think we might fancy doing something else then I rsvp to say sorry we cant make it.
If I genuinely didnt know if I could make it (due to transport or shifts etc rather than hoping something better turned up or not being bothered to go) then I would see what type of party it was - if it was a party that needed definite numbers I would just rsvp to say no and if it was a party that was in a hall etc I'd call the mum and explain the situation, telling them if they need a definite answer now it is a no but if not then maybe and I will keep them updated.

one mum I know says no to every party as she doesnt like taking her kid. one mum will only go to the parties of children she plans to invite back. A few are very vague at every invite "oooh I dunno what we are doing, we will see etc"

the other thing I noticed last year was a couple of "second rounds". I mean - kid has invited 10 children (mine wasnt one of them) of those 10 only 8 can make it so kid invites 2 more (one was mine!) this happened a couple of times.

sassyblue

pinkshoes wrote: »

If you want them to RSVP, you need an email address, and perhaps put something like "I'll be making up party bags, so please make sure you email me to let me know you're coming, as I wouldn't want any child to have to go without!!"

I think this is a fab idea, polite but to the point.

onlyroz wrote: »

I also don't like these "whole class" parties, because it seems to me that one of the main reasons for doing it is so that your little darling will get a huge stack of extra presents. These parties are also usually in the middle of a sat/sun afternoon, so attending one pretty much rights-off the whole day.

God, l hope people don't think that! I only have one child and make an effort for him because l didn't have parties as a kid (parents couldn't afford them) and l like doing all the 'mummy' things, parties are part of that.

In fact, although we didn't invite the whole class the parents who have done those parties IMO are the more friendlier ones.

Last year we didn't get RSVP's from about 8 people, so when my little one was choosing this year l let him have extra thinking that quite a few would drop out, this year only 2 said they couldn't come, 4 didn't respond and never turned up on the day. Those 4 won't get an invite next year.

I think it's incredibly rude not to reply, l make a point of always replying because l know what it's like to be on the other end - but then l am polite like that. I prefer to text or let the parent know in person at the school gates.

Life is busy for everyone but people who don't respond are either disorganised or downright rude.

Maysie

You cannot win with parties. I do at home parties. 8 is usually a nice number. Invite 10 3 turn up, onces that said they were coming never did. The next year invite 12 and 10 turn up. This year we had 5 arrive and i put please can you let me know if you can come as i can only have 8 children and dear son wanted to invite all the boys. He did a 2nd round and got an extra friend who could come so they were both happy. The year we had 10 arrive someone tripped over and had a nosebleed. It felt far to chaotic and i felt terrible for the little lad (tripped over a toy in the garden).

I find text and email get the best replies.

Teenie_D

keigcf wrote: »

We don't do party bags any more which helps. I get a basket/bag/whatever and put a load of treat size chocolates in. When the kids leave they can all pick out 2 or 3. No waste as the remaining all goes back into the sweet cupboard. .

That's such a good idea!! It's another thing that has gotten completely out of hand. Parents are spending a fortune on party bags and the majority of the time is just cheap tat that is in them. My DD came home with a massive present bag from one of her parties and when she came in the door I thought it was a belated present for her (her birthday was a couple of weeks prior to this party) but no this was the party bag!!! Totally unnecessary and it's a shame on the Mums who can't afford much as they feel they have to keep up with everyone else!

Bumpmakesfour

onlyroz wrote: »

Why is it such a problem that people don't want to commit so early? There might be plenty of things that are more important than rushing around to attend the party of a child that your own child might barely know.

Because when you need confirmed numbers for a place or entertainer you NEED them to reply.If I didn't NEED them to reply in advance I wouldn't have sent them out three weeks in advance.
I really don't see why it's such a difficult thing to do..it's either a yes or a no..where's the problem??

gratefulforhelp_2

There is no problem, it isn't hard, and if they had been taught basic good manners, they would just reply.

Bumpmakesfour

balancelife wrote: »

the other thing I noticed last year was a couple of "second rounds". I mean - kid has invited 10 children (mine wasnt one of them) of those 10 only 8 can make it so kid invites 2 more (one was mine!) this happened a couple of times.

We had this yesterday.DD gave her invitations out on the same day as a class mate but she wasn't invited.But once she'd given him his invitation she then got one the next day.I'm assuming the mum felt she had to invite DD because we'd invited her son so written another out.No idea why but I feel kind of uncomfortable with this...:o

gratefulforhelp_2

Spendless wrote: »

3 weeks IME is a long time for a party invite but when I held my DD's last party I had to confirm figures and pay at least a week in advance so would therefore send invites out at least 2 for this type of case. Also I expect people to perhaps have planned something for the coming weekend already so would always give more than a week. Loads and loads of kid related things aren't my idea of fun but that's part and parcel of being a parent. Either you are going to a party or you aren't. You shouldn't be edging your bets hoping something more exciting comes along in the interim.

also, as a working-full-time-parent, I need a bit of notice to get present and card together - we don't live near any shops.