Do people not reply to party invites these days??

euronorris

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

I agree it's absolutely not the kids fault..but say 10 don't reply,do you then fill party bags just incase they do what others did last time and just show up?Or what if you DO do bags and they don't show up?
At about £2.50 a bag that's a possible £25 waste.. Arrghh my head hurts :rotfl:

I would add a note to the invites now saying 'Please note that if I do not receive your RSVP before XX date, we will assume that your child is not attending. This will mean that there will be no party bag/cake (whatever) prepared for your child, in order to keep costs to a minimum. If your child is able to attend at the last moment, please call us on xxxxxxxx to let us know so that we can accomdate them. Thank you.'

I know that seems a bit harsh, and maybe a bit formal, but it might make some parents think twice about replying properly.

gratefulforhelp_2

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

We had this yesterday.DD gave her invitations out on the same day as a class mate but she wasn't invited.But once she'd given him his invitation she then got one the next day.I'm assuming the mum felt she had to invite DD because we'd invited her son so written another out.No idea why but I feel kind of uncomfortable with this...:o

An ex friend of ours (and I don't jettison friends lightly so maybe that says something) had a massive hissy fit that her SON wasn't invited to DD'S all-girl party.

You just can't get into who invites who or tit-for-tat...so I know what you mean.

gratefulforhelp_2

balletshoes wrote: »

it might not be that though - it could be that the child who has been invited is involved in a regular weekend or after school activity, and genuinely doesn't know 3 weeks in advance if they have anything on with the regular activity. Granted this may not be the case for a lot of 4/5/6 year olds, but for example, my DD often has extra dance classes she is expected to attend around show/competition time, she only gets notice of these extra classes when they can be fit in, so sometimes a week or 10 days notice is given. Same with my nephew with his football team.

In that situation we give the child a choice about what she wants to do.

izzybusy23

I've had the same problem in the past; chasing up people for replies for a soft play centre that is £8 per child etc... just utterly rude especially as numbers and menus had to be confirmed a week in advance.

This year I done a home party; never again!! I just lost control of the little blighters, they run riot and all the games I had planned went awry and so did the party prizes too; especially pass the parcel which was wrapped up in sync with who was to get what then my remote wouldn't mute the music in time so it went on to a child that had already won a prize in the games.. nightmare! Luckily I had over compensated on the prizes and had spares.

Next year I am aiming to invite about 7 of my DD's friends and do a bowling party and letting them take the stress of it instead ... although I am very tempted not to do anything as another of my DD's class mates's birthday falls on the same day as my DD's birthday and her mum was overhead saying once before 'I don't do N a birthday party as she goes to I's instead and all her friends are there'.. cheeky mare! :eek:

euronorris

balletshoes wrote: »

it might not be that though - it could be that the child who has been invited is involved in a regular weekend or after school activity, and genuinely doesn't know 3 weeks in advance if they have anything on with the regular activity. Granted this may not be the case for a lot of 4/5/6 year olds, but for example, my DD often has extra dance classes she is expected to attend around show/competition time, she only gets notice of these extra classes when they can be fit in, so sometimes a week or 10 days notice is given. Same with my nephew with his football team.

Surely you either make a choice to go to the party (and forfeit any show/competition)/let your child make the choice, OR, you say 'sorry, we can't make it'.

It's unfair to keep other people waiting because you are not sure of your plans. And, to me, it is still a case of waiting to see if something better comes up.

Same thing happens with adult parties, or work do's. God, they're a nightmare! I'm very harsh now cos I'm sick of being messed around. So, it's respond by XX date, or it will be presumed you are not coming you will NOT be accomodated at the last moment!

sashadesade

onlyroz wrote: »

Why is it such a problem that people don't want to commit so early? There might be plenty of things that are more important than rushing around to attend the party of a child that your own child might barely know.

I was thinking about all parties really, not just kids ones. But either way, I think if someone's good enough to invite you to a party then it's common courtesy to give them a timely response rather than going 'eh, maybe' and waiting to see if you get a better offer for that day. The person organising the party might need to know what numbers to expect and leaving them hanging isn't very nice.

Bumpmakesfour

[quote=[Deleted User];46863363]kids parties = nightmare!

I remember a few years ago one of the kids turned up with mum and dad and younger sister in tow too. We told the parents the time it was ending (it was a bowling party) but they didnt turn up.

We tried phoning mobile but no answer. In the end, they rang us back about 2 hours later so basically we had to look after their kids for them after everyone else had gone home.

Think the parents had gone shopping/food and thought great free babysitting for the day !!! What annoyed me was we told them the time and I think it was accidentally on purpose !!![/QUOTE]

No way!!!!:eek: What did the parents say when they eventually turned up?I'm gobsmacked!!

System

I have done the whole class party for all four of my children and it is most certainly NOT to get extra presents for them! I think that is a bit cheeky to imply that, but we are all entitled to our opinion!
Sadly, we have had all the scenarios related on here. A couple of years ago, my youngest son wanted his birthday party at the latest (expensive, pay in advance, minimum number) soft play venue in our area.
As there was a minimum booking policy in place (10 children minimum, I think) I made the invites myself and was very polite but clear and firm about the need to reply promptly to accept or refuse the invitation. I put home phone, mobile and email as contacts, but barely a third bothered to let us know and I was raging! Several didn't turn up but we still had to pay for them, someone mentioned '2nd round' but we could have invited some other friends to make up the numbers!
I actually asked one of the parents why they had not replied to invite and they just said very casually. "but no-one does, do they?"
Even though I am now a 'party entertainer' so to speak, I won't be having any more big parties at venues. I originally stopped the 'at home' parties as I found too often that a party from say 2 - 4pm, meant people were at the door from about 1pm and not coming back until after 5!! The sheer nerve.
I like the idea of 3 close friends and an outing, so thanks for that suggestion! :-)
To the OP, I agree that it is bad manners plain and simple, but I can't offer any fresh suggestions. I hope you all have a good time x
Linda

Bumpmakesfour

fab_n_funky_mum wrote: »

I actually asked one of the parents why they had not replied to invite and they just said very casually. "but no-one does, do they?"
To the OP, I agree that it is bad manners plain and simple, but I can't offer any fresh suggestions. I hope you all have a good time x
Linda

"No one does do they"?? omg heard it all now!How can anyone actually think that??:eek:
I'm sure it'll be fab tx..Have lots of lovely friends and family going to be there plus 6 confirmed class mates and a few of her brother and sisters friends so even if the whole lot of the ignorant,can't be bothered to reply, rude git bags don't show up she'll still love it :j x

milliemonster

Do people also not even bother to ask their child if they want to go to so and so's party? I've read lots of replies on here of excuses of 'seeing what else we're doing first', 'waiting for a better offer to come along', 'don't know what plans we have' etc etc, do none of these parents ask their child and put their feelings first?

Whilst using up a weekend day ferrying my kids to a party (esp as I'm a nurse and rarely get a weekend off so they are very precious) is not my idea of heaven, if any of my kids get a party invite, the first thing I do is ask them if they want to go, if they do, then I go out of my way to make it happen for them, even if that means I cancel something I had planned to do myself, it seems to me that a lot of parents are putting their own wants and needs before that of their children and so lots of kids are missing out on their friends' parties