I'm a bit fed up today. Family are not always a blessing.

Any

aliasojo wrote: »

That's what prompted this thread. I just don't know why he in particular has this effect on me. I've been thinking about it since yesterday and can't come up with a definitive answer, which is why if I can't control the reasoning, I'd like to be able to control the emotions I feel.

Not a psychologist but it might be because YOU see him as a successful guy... If you knew he sleeps with his secretary, his wife hates him and all these other rich people bad mouth him you would KNOW you are the one better off and he would not get under your skin...

And trust me - at least one of the things above is true about him!:rotfl:

aliasojo

Any wrote: »

Not a psychologist but it might be because YOU see him as a successful guy...

I don't think that's the case, I described him as successful for the purposes of this thread, and he is successful, but I usually don't even think of him like that, I'm not always aware of his success iyswim, he's just annoying uncle x who I feel looks down on me.

Honestly, none of those were true. :rotfl:

swampduck

I think you just need to put it into perspective whatever anyone says or does in their life is up to them.
After we are put on this earth with nothing and we leave with nothing!!
If this person makes you feel inferior because of their superiority then just think of them in a ridiculous situation - a bit like the spider in one of the Harry Potter movies - who ends up wearing roller skates with his legs all akimbo!!

Swampy

candygirl

He sounds like my DD's bf, always the expert in every bloody thing and a complete c0ck all round:D:DHe was even telling me how to feed my new Grandson on Sat.Talk about teaching your Grandmother to suck eggs:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:How I survive now is to laugh internally, and wait for it all to go pear shaped:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Any

aliasojo wrote: »

Honestly, none of those were true. :rotfl:

I would be very very surprised if the bad mouthing wasn't true.. I have not yet met a person who is not bad mouthed by other similarly/more/less successful as them...
All these people fight for superiocy, it is their goal in life and that comes with the bad feelings coming from rivalry (sp?)

Any

candygirl wrote: »

He sounds like my DD's bf, always the expert in every bloody thing and a complete c0ck all round:D:DHe was even telling me how to feed my new Grandson on Sat.Talk about teaching your Grandmother to suck eggs:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:How I survive now is to laugh internally, and wait for it all to go pear shaped:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I have heard a person to give advice to a tired new mother how to best keep house tidy with children even though she never had any children and never cleaned because has cleaner 2x a week!!:rotfl:

RAS

aliasojo wrote: »

Although I do know there was some anger towards him years ago when he tore strips off me in the High Street for not going to see my 'dying Mum' as he put it. I had no clue my Mum was dying until the words came out of his mouth. We lived 200 miles apart and we spoke on the phone weekly and visited during school holidays. She had deliberately not told us she had cancer and was going out of her way to hide it from us. As it was early stages she looked normal and we had no idea she was ill. He told me I should have known and I should be down there with her right now, not walking about in the High Street, not caring. Needless to say I was very upset and I went to see her that afternoon. The rest of the family thought he was out of line for what he did but it was years ago now and all blew over so he's back being the blue eyed boy.

So basically every time he makes a less than positive comment, what happens is that he triggers all that old stuff.

This may not be about what happened this weekend but what happened years ago.

You need to resolve the old stuff and you will find that your current situation improves.

As for his lack of respect, each time you know he is going to be around, just imagine what he lokks liek with his knickers round his ankle pushing hard? Or at the docs with a finger up his bum.

If you behave as if you deserve respect, he will start to treat you in that way as well. There is no way the other niece would do otherwise.

Fizzpop

I had an uncle very much like yours that i tried and succeeded in cutting out of my life for a long time, unfortunately due to other family members he was always in the back ground somewhere.

All i can say is i felt such relief when he was cut out of our lives, and even bigger relief when we found out he had died, yes it took the rest of our so called family 3 months to tell us he was dead and even then it was done so in a very nasty way.

Now i can honestly say i probably have one of the smallest family trees in the world but i'm so so glad i cut a hell of a lot of branches off

desert_rose

Possibly, this is a learned behaviour of yours going back years and years. You always feel awful when he's been around and the pattern just keeps self perpetuating because it can't, for some reason, be broken.

I'd suggest a 'controlled', loss of temper next time you see him. The next put down he gives you, lose your rag and give him what for - but in a cold, controlled sort of way. Keep calm, keep your head and you'll break the pattern.

Once you've done that, you'll be out from under his spell.

balletshoes

aliasojo wrote: »

Sorry if I wasn't clear but it's not my brother that I'm talking about, it's actually my uncle.
He's always been good at everything he does and has held important positions but I don't think he's too good at reigning his neck in sometimes.

The last part of your comment is something I know is true but I need to work on putting it into practice.

there you go - every time you see him you can think to yourself "you're a bit of a kn*b really, you don't know when to shut your gob" :rotfl::rotfl:.