Breathing out, I smile – Bringing ZEN to the life of a DFW

savingwannabe

I am vavavoomed out. 12 hour days at workypoos are a bit much. But it is ok, nearly the weekend.

I am a bit tired so can't take this all in but hope you are all ok. Will look again tomorrow when my brain wakes up. Has anyone seen Startagain? Am worried.

Aesop

Marru, I always read, but if I am reading on my phone, I cannot reply.

I NEVER get the free listings email from ebay. However, I subscribe to quite a few threads and someone usually does get the email and tells everyone. Then I go and post on a few threads about it.

I didn't post on yours as I didn't want to ruin it. I am loving the whole zen thing, and the way you are posting, so didn't want to ruin it with a free listing on ebay post.

I post on 3Dogs diary, so was hoping you would see it there.

Marru

Thanks Aesop, you can't ruin my thread write anything you want anytime. I think getting clutter free is very Zen I do read 3D's diary but sometimes it moves so fast so that I only read last few posts in the end.

Still going strong with the cashflow webinar, half and hour to go...yawn...

Marru

Someone, anyone can you shake me off from this "blaah" mood. I am actually ok, not feeling down as such but just sort of in a limbo being restless waiting something to happen (something positive that is). Even than change is around me all the time I don't seem to be able to focus on the now.

I managed to do little studying at work this afternoon except I and couple of my colleagues took the opportunity to have a good natter. It was nice because we don't always get a chance to do that as we are either a) too busy b) too busy to look we are busy :rotfl:Ok it is mostly the option a.

I need to get better "coming back home in the evening" routine. The quicker I can get DD fed and to bed the better chance there is for me to get my studies and todo list moving. Today thou I have had a head ache. It seems that the new pills are actually helping some, I have been lying upstairs while DD has been munching her tea downstairs. Feeling a bit quilty about that but then she has been really gentle with me tonight and very lovey dovey so I guess she is getting finally the fact that I am not a super human. I had "words" in the car yesterday with her after we had really horrid morning with tantrums, squawking and fighting. So all is well again between us.

Anyhoo, off to nurture my poorly head and to fend away yet another quilt for not writing here about things that I have been meaning to for a long time. Patience my friends: It is on its way

Marru

The mantra in Matrix now is: "It is on its way". Most of us have read The Secret and about the laws of the Universe. When you open up to the opportunities instead of the lack in your life things start to happen. Good example of this is when I set myself target to increase my annual income by making the best of my situation. What happened was that I more than doubled my income in a very short space of time.

The funny thing is that it is not that easy to really understand the concept of the letting go of the lack and trusting for the Universe to provide. But then something quite funny happened. BF, DD and I were in a pub waiting for our food to arrive. DD was getting restless and wanted her food "NOW". I said then to her that "It is on its way". And then the penny dropped. I wasn't sitting there concentrating on being hungry, I was there sitting trusting that the meal will appear. And that is exactly how it is in the "real life". You have seized the opportunity (gone into the pub), put the order in and then you can just relax and grab the opportunity when what you are waiting for arrives (or using this parallel grab your cutlery when the food appears).

This image was going around FB yesterday, I think it is very apt:



So when you have your goals set, you have done the most important thing to get you towards your goals it is time to trust that the path is right and that you will be guided.

Marru

I think I have finally found the reason for my headaches.

On Thursday I felt a bit head achy and took one of the new pills my new GP gave me. Friday morning head ache was gone but I didn't feel right, it took me a long time to get going and I was feeling a bit dizzy as well. Then Friday evening I did this distance healing exercise with one other participant from the teleseminar and while I was receiving the treatment I got spinning sensation and I felt like I was either in internal turmoil or in the calm spot of a tornado that was spinning around me.

Saturday I felt head ache creeping on me again when I went for acupuncture treatment. I was talking with the therapist about how things are and then the revelation came. I am living too much in my head. My work is all about using my head and also on my free time I study, read and plan. Due to the Black Dog I have disconnected from my feelings and also somehow also from my physical being. I guess I must be difficult to be and live with as I am living in a place that nobody else can really access.

Also for me giving healing on Friday was pulling the energy up as I am still not very good at grounding myself. I should be actually really careful about doing any more healing until I get better at protecting and grounding myself.

So Saturday night after we drove up to BF's new boat I pretty much crashed (also I haven't exactly been eating properly for awhile which hasn't helped ). BF fed me last night and today I have been feeling ok, in the morning a bit drowsy but I was ok driving BF's car back.

I am reading a book about deep mediation. I will let you know how I get on with it. Out of qigong, yoga and meditation I have decided to give meditation a go as I can't find the time to do all of them (at least not at the moment). I am hoping that the meditation will help me to balance the energy to ease off the pressure in my head.

Anyway, it is getting late so I need to get DD to bed. Then BBC iplayer session with my knitting for me - bliss

Firewalker

Hi Maru, I have been thinking about starting to meditate. Can you learn this one from a book? Or do I need a Master?

FW

Marru

Hi FW: I got THIS book, it seems very doable on your own and very simple. The instructions are really in one sentence but then the rest of the book goes to answering all the possible questions you might have re your experience.

Marru

Second last telseminar session last night. It is all good stuff but boy am I tired. Glad that next week it will be over. Now I just need to remember to put it all into practice

Met my solicitor today. We (or they) need to prepare statements for the court. The next hearing is scheduled for 2nd of November (one day after DD's birthday).

I have finally sorted out childcare for this weekend. Ex is causing trouble. He was supposed to have her for five hours on Saturday but as I can't trust him not to intimidate my friend who is picking DD up I am going to tell him not to come. If I get rapped on knuckles in court then so be it.

Friday will be like military operation, making sure that right things has been packed for her and me and the things are in the right places and that everyone has the right information.

Next week at work is going to be very intensive. The other half of my new team is going to come to UK so we are training them and also at the same time testing the sytems. Very exciting.

Anyway, sorry no inspirational post from me today as I am pretty pooped. However if tomorrow lunchtime you can see my green light on please give me a kick up the backside, I should be menu planning.

savingwannabe

I am sorry Marru he sounds really horrible. I do hope things will calm down for you. Dont worry about posting an inspiring post. You are always inspiring. I am going to forward on something amazing that Firewalker sent me on the weekend check your PMs. I keep feeling sick (virus) not diabetes thank goodness and it keeps making me think. We really do know the best people. Yay.

Stay strong and hugs. love from me.