Partner moving in help

Mojisola

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Don't charge him "rent". He pays for the extra Council Tax once you are not entitled to the 25% discount, half of the utility bills and a fair share of the grocery shopping. Nothing else: no contributions towards repairs and maintenance of the property, no furniture, no holidays in lieu of rent. Nothing.

It seems crazy to move in a life partner and the father of your child and have him contribute less to the household than if you took in a lodger.

I wouldn't let him move in while I felt that unsure of the future of the relationship.

bluenoseam

I think before you consider this you need to seek some advice on what he'd have a claim on should you eventually split, while it might not seem very money saving, invest some money if you can in a solicitor's meeting (even check insurance policies which will often include a 30m consultation) even if it's just to put your mind at ease as to what your rights are. If you're living together though I don't see why you should charge him "rent", you're his OH not his landlady, that's not to say he doesn't pay his way (bills, shopping, perhaps some of the CT depending on what your solicitor says) but ultimately making him pay rent makes him sound more like (and i mean no offense here) a lodger than a lover.

Any

Yes, it is a tought one - let him sign something or pay more then him.

Not living with him until you know it works is not an option IMHO - most often people only find out what the other is REALLY like only once they live together. And you don't go out for long as you say.

You could only ask for half the bills for the meantime until you know he is the one. But that is a tough one as you are going to only have SMP soon.

Let him sign something? ....

Truth is that if he starts paying mortgage etc he will have a right to some of your property... Some pay off if you split up. I don't think exactly half (as he didn't put down deposit, didn't live in it for that long and only paid half the bills or whatever), but definitely some. And I think after 6 mths of this happening (at least that is what I was told).

How do you feel? Do you believe he is the one? Or is there niggling doubt?

adamantine

if he is living with you you need to split everything equally imo. if you both take in the same amount then split rent/bills/groceries 50/50.

if you take in 40% and him 60% then split 40/60 and so on.

Magicboo

My now DH moved into my house 5 weeks after we met. Although I was head over heals about him, I made him sign a rental agreement (I had lodgers in my house before he moved in) which was the same as the lodger paid (£400/month) and we split the food shopping. All the bills etc..came out of my/his rent money so he didn't pay any extra towards it.
He didn't mind because he was realistic and much as we were sure it was going to last, unfortunately you have to live in a realistic world sometimes.
Can you talk to him about it? Perhaps he is expecting to pay "rent"?

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

but OP is pregnant with his child and has said they've been together for a while . . . .

PasturesNew

What is the £400 you say you'd be losing?

lostinrates

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

but OP is pregnant with his child and has said they've been together for a while . . . .

she also has to consider the security not just of this child but her first child in event of a break up. I'd not risk the security of children for a chap who was moving into a home he couldn't pay half of in anycase.

I would be ensuring he had no claim on the property too. Straight out of mother's home into partner's on a low wage doesn't suggest a precidence of much repsonsibilty, howvere well meaning and lovely he is. can he increase his earning potential? Perhaps once able to conribute more equally and the family is settled into a new equilibrium things can change again.

janninew

I've been in this exact situation myself (except for the baby!) and I was so worried that I called the solicitor who had done my divorce for advice. He told me that my partner should not contribute anything to my mortgage or repairs on the property, this way if we split, he had no chance of getting any percent of my homes value. I was happy to do this and he paid half the council tax, half the bills and half the food bill. I took care of the house, repairs and building insurance. Yes I was paying more, but it was my house. Eventually we married so it all worked out ok and everything is now in joint names.

I was quite happy to pay for my mortgage at the time as it gave me peace of mind shold anything go wrong. My now husband was saving what he would have ben paying in rent and when we married this was put towards paying a large chunk of the mortgage off.

Get legal advice if you are unsure.

Any

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

but OP is pregnant with his child and has said they've been together for a while . . . .

No, she said they haven't been together for long so don't live together...