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Best way to avoid over spending when out for a meal with family

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  • Mrs_Arcanum
    Mrs_Arcanum Posts: 23,976 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    One suggestion could be to chat with the restaurant and order meals beforehand with everyone paying up front for what they choose. This way the restaurant has time to be ready for a larger group and any drinks can be purchased individually. You will get a better service from the staff and have no nasty surprises.
    Truth always poses doubts & questions. Only lies are 100% believable, because they don't need to justify reality. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon, The Labyrinth of the Spirits
  • claire16c
    claire16c Posts: 7,074 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Me and my friends always split the bill. Once I was out with some people who I didnt know that well and after everyone had said lets split the bill, one couple put way less than this down each. The bill was then about £20 short - they didnt seem to think where was that money going to come from - we couldnt exactly just leave the restaurant.

    So then my friend whose birthday it was ending up getting out her phone and working out on the calculator what people should owe, it was a complete farce because by that point some people who had agreed to split the bill had left their £20 each and left. So my friend ending up paying the extra and it was her birthday!!

    Needless to say she doesnt invite that couple out anymore. For that particular meal everyone had had a starter and a main meal and similar drinks so it was very annoying for that couple to have done that.

    However, I can see it from the other side too that if you have a cheap meal and other people are drinking and you are not is it not fair. But, when I go out with my friends, if I dont drink and they do, they always offer to put more in. So I think if you go out for a meal, just make sure its with people you get on with, and the you should be fine!
  • kelloggs36
    kelloggs36 Posts: 7,712 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    My friends and I split the bill, but are aware of any non-drinkers and they always pay much less as it isn't fair to subsidise the expensive drinks. I would speak to my mum if I were the OP and explain that I only have X amount to spend and give that to her and ask her to use it towards the total bill. With any luck my mum might either offer to pay for us (which in my family always happens!) or she accepts and you know what you have paid and all is ok with the rest. Alternatively, if you really can't afford to go, just say you can't and again, you may get an offer for somebody to pay for you all, or you make other arrangements for your dad - I'm sure he won't mind, afterall, he is your dad!
  • jellyhead
    jellyhead Posts: 21,555 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    19lottie82 wrote: »
    If I was in your situation, I would much rather have a quiet word with my dad and explain that you won’t be going as I don’t have the cash at the moment, rather than put up with the embarrassment of getting my calculator out at the end of the night and working out how much everyone owes exactly.

    Based on your post, it’s clear you can’t afford to go for the meal, so don’t. there’s no need to feel guilty.

    If I did that my parents would say they'd pay for me, rather than me not go. They'd also say to not buy a birthday present and "It's your presence not presents we want."

    It's happened once before.

    It was awkward and embarrassing - after I'd said it I felt rude that I was so clearly not putting my father's birthday as any kind of priority. I was the only one saying they couldn't come and my siblings hinted that I was being selfish and ill-mannered to cast a shadow over my father's birthday (my sister was doing the organising and table booking, so it was her I'd said no to).

    So, my dad paid for me and I felt bad at the end of the meal, because others could see that he was paying for me. Looking back, I'd have preferred a loan that I could have repaid the following month or so.

    I think asking mum or a sibling for a loan would be best if you can't afford it at all.

    If you can afford economising and drinking tap water, then go but see if you can order separately, have a different table number for example, and say you ordered first because it's late for your children to be eating and you wanted to make sure they got fed first, and so you can leave early with your bill settled before the children get overtired.
    52% tight
  • ukjoel
    ukjoel Posts: 1,468 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    yvonne13 wrote: »
    I tried to and the restaurant said no, we all came together so we would be issued one bill.:eek:


    In which case we would all leave together and go somewhere else.:D
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,932 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    OP
    you've caused quite a bit of discussion here, lots of differing opinions.

    You went (or at least planned to go) on the meal on Sunday evening - how about updating us on how it went and how you handled paying for your meal.
  • boliston
    boliston Posts: 3,012 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    I think a party 4 is the absolute max to realistically split a bill, anymore than that and it would be separate bills always!

    Recently had a works evening meal with about 12 people and it took a good half hour to work out the splits and it was still about a fiver short, it was really embarrassing as well as they had added on a 12.5% tip (about £60) and of course no one had remembered to add anything on for this. I paid the £5 shortfall out of my own pocket (I was going to leave a £5 tip anyway so no bothered) but there was NO way I was going to pay for the entire party's tips as well, so the waiter did not seem pleased!
  • roddydogs
    roddydogs Posts: 7,479 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Isnt it annoying when they Always take the menus away, so you cant check the price with the price on the Bill!!
  • victory
    victory Posts: 16,188 Forumite
    edited 18 October 2011 at 10:16AM
    .......................................................
    misspiggy wrote: »
    I'm sure you're an angel in disguise Victory :)
  • Confused...how has my post made your blood boil..when it agrees with what you're saying? :o
    Slightly mad mummy to four kidlets aged 4 months,6,7 and 8 :D:D:D xx
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