Horns of a Dilemma

Mrs_Bones

It's not just buying the house though, £40K is not really that much in property terms and if you get a house who is going to be paying all the other bills? Tax, Heating, Water etc not to mention the weekly bills such as food.

wageslave

I have read every reply carefully and I have to thank each and everyone of you for taking the time and the effort to advise me.

It has been of immense benefit to read the opinions of people with no axe to grind and TBH a great deal of it made sense.

OK, no deposit when she graduates. It's too early and puts far too much pressure on her. You are all absolutely right about that.

I am projecting my own need for security onto my daughter:o. I honestly hadn't realised it.

Hamish, I don't think I can bear to watch her spend and no it wouldn't be waste I do see that. I need to think about it. Capital is so hard to accumulate. I am at one with Lydias parents, money goes on bricks and mortar.

Jan, you are right. I worry about her packing it in and yet the selfish part of me wants her home. I am not half the good parent I pretend to be.

She has a car. It is a better bliddy car than I have:cool:

I am moving towards the idea of buying a one bed flat in my home town (possibly with a very small mortgage or bank loan) and either investing the rent or just using it on a month to month basis to make the brats life smoother. I am unsure.

I am very much in danger of ruining all my childrens lives because of who I am and where I have come from. I didn't see that and you have no idea how grateful I am that you have all made me aware of it.

For my girls sake, all my girls, I need to move on or I will pull them all down.

Thank you. All of you. For strangers you make bliddy good friends

lostinrates

wageslave wrote: »

For my girls sake, all my girls, I need to move on or I will pull them all down.

Thank you. All of you. For strangers you make bliddy good friends

oi. no blaming yourself over something that hasn't happened. Your girls, all of them, are very lucky IMO.

morag1202

Please don't make the mistake I made.

My in-laws set up a Trust Fund for their first grandchild but not for the second. I felt I must save/invest to match their final total so that the kids were treated fairly. Their scheme was very tax efficient and relied on a Deed of Covernant but this option wasn't available to me. I did it but it was a struggle and a bit of a guilt trip.

If you do buy a flat, fgs don't get hung up on the need to do the same for the other two - especially if you hold the flat long enough for some HPI to kick in!

wageslave

lostinrates wrote: »

oi. no blaming yourself over something that hasn't happened. Your girls, all of them, are very lucky IMO.

Well you would say that, you are nice.

I am not so nice LIR, not really. I am a nasty piece of work truth to tell.

But I love my children. It is my one saving grace.

wageslave

morag1202 wrote: »

Please don't make the mistake I made.

My in-laws set up a Trust Fund for their first grandchild but not for the second. I felt I must save/invest to match their final total so that the kids were treated fairly. Their scheme was very tax efficient and relied on a Deed of Covernant but this option wasn't available to me. I did it but it was a struggle and a bit of a guilt trip.
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If you do buy a flat, fgs don't get hung up on the need to do the same for the other two - especially if you hold the flat long enough for some HPI to kick in!

Thats a real problem. Or will be.

I can't use my Da's money for the brattetes but I can't make a difference.

I have these imaginary discussions with my father. He was the kindest of men but blood was everything to him.

I have years before I need to worry about it so I will worry tomorrow.........

lostinrates

wageslave wrote: »

Well you would say that, you are nice.

I am not so nice LIR, not really. I am a nasty piece of work truth to tell.

But I love my children. It is my one saving grace.

What rot. Nicest person on the NP thread. Nice but not sickly..that's you.

I wouldn't worry TOO much about the bratletts in that respect. Their chances are increased by seeing aspiration. The gift they havce already had from you and the brat, tbh, far exceeds tens of thousands. And the years you have between now and then to continue making a difference in their dear little lives. What you have might be more equally divded, so they get something each, but Brat still gets family money and a remembering that she was the first of the now three sisters.

morag1202

wageslave wrote: »

Thats a real problem. Or will be.

I can't use my Da's money for the brattetes but I can't make a difference.

I have these imaginary discussions with my father. He was the kindest of men but blood was everything to him.

I have years before I need to worry about it so I will worry tomorrow.........

.........and every day after that!

Thought for the day. Your Da would want you to spend/invest/use his money on YOU.

wageslave

morag1202 wrote: »

.........and every day after that!

Thought for the day. Your Da would want you to spend/invest/use his money on YOU.

He was the best of men. He had a real kindness and I miss him everyday.

I have a huge amount to thank him for, he wasn't your everyday pi k ey. You could talk to my Da and he listened.

But he wasn't god.

Like me, he was a prisoner of his past.

I want more for my girls. I don't want them to be tinkers

treliac

silvercar wrote: »

Tuition fee hikes will lead to fewer students and more students living at home. Now is not the time to buy student property.

DS is about to go into his second year. His student loan is £1,500 short of his rental costs for the year. We already pay him a regular allowance for his weekly living costs and we'll have to find the £1,500 too.

He'll try to find a job but there's a lot of competition so who knows if he will get one?

How, I wonder, are students who can't get jobs or don't have parents to support them able to manage?

(DD lived in a cheaper area as an undergraduate and her loan covered her rent.)