Teenagers - why do they not want to walk or go anywhere?

KxMx

Sorry to be blunt, but a 13 year old girl, faced with the choice of a museum trip with boring old Mum or a stay with glam older cousin, no choice there!

At 13 she's probably a little old to always be going out and about with parents. Occasionaly is fine but not all the time. Try finding things she likes more to do together, like shopping or cinema.

Butterfliesarepretty

emsywoo123 wrote: »

I'm confused-I thought she didn't live with you?

no she doesnt live with me. what are you confused about?
Like I said she has stayed with me for this week and until wednesday when she joins her cousin. I go back to work on the 27th aug.

When she stays with me at weekends sometimes only once a month i have to go out and do things like shopping I leave her, but if someone asks me on a date for the weekend that shes with me I say no.

Also she has chosen to stay with her older cousin. Nobody has planned it for her. She is an only child so its difficult for her.

rainbow81

Butterfliesarepretty wrote: »

no she doesnt live with me. what are you confused about?

When she stays with me at weekends sometimes only once a month i have to go out and do things like shopping I leave her, but if someone asks me on a date for the weekend that shes with me I say no.

Of course you do. But it is starting to sound a little bit like you are resenting her wasting your precious free time tbh. Not meaning to sound horrible and for all I know it's not how you feel at all but it's how it reads to me, and maybe that is the impression your daughter is getting. Her parents are taking time off work only for her to waste it by not wanting to go on walks round old cities or to museums. It seems like there is a bit too much pressure on her to want what you want (even though you are arranging these things with the best of intentions).

Butterfliesarepretty

rainbow81 wrote: »

Of course you do. But it is starting to sound a little bit like you are resenting her wasting your precious free time tbh. Not meaning to sound horrible and for all I know it's not how you feel at all but it's how it reads to me, and maybe that is the impression your daughter is getting. Her parents are taking time off work only for her to waste it by not wanting to go on walks round old cities or to museums. It seems like there is a bit too much pressure on her to want what you want (even though you are arranging these things with the best of intentions).

Dont assume things please. I dont resent taking time off at all, its my first leave from work this year and Im enjoying it. I get a lot of time to myself as I work fulltime and most evenings are just me. I would like to enjoy it with my daughter, also I cant always go out paying for stuff all the time.
Im trying to be a good parent and remember how I felt at that age but my parents didnt want to go out.
You can only try your best. She has a bike and I have asked her to cycle with me, she prefers to spend time on the laptop these days. So today i have left her to play on the laptop and I have rewhitened the grout in the bathroom, another job done.

Tomorrow we are off to longsight to visit my sister and her children and my daughter is looking forward to it, she wants to go.

squibbs25

Can i join this thread too please?
I'm mum to a sulky, moody almost 14 year old ds, this summer holiday has been so different to last years
We (husband and i) took the kids crazy golf on Friday (also got dd, coming up 9), well turned out to be more like pitch and put!
The faces ds pulled, no effort, totally hated it -unless he was winning, then he was all smiles.
Total Jekyll and Hyde personality.
Im sure it depends onwhat way the wind is blowing as to whether he can smile or smirk

As a family we have not done a lot this summer, we live on the coast so the beach is not that far from us so have spent some time down the beach (which both kids enjoyed) but when it comes to anything else ds is simply not interested. He's too busy off with his friends.

He's more a mix of Jekyll/hyde/ Kevin and Perry all put together :rotfl:
Lovely combination

Butterfliesarepretty

squibbs25 wrote: »

Can i join this thread too please?
I'm mum to a sulky, moody almost 14 year old ds, this summer holiday has been so different to last years
We (husband and i) took the kids crazy golf on Friday (also got dd, coming up 9), well turned out to be more like pitch and put!
The faces ds pulled, no effort, totally hated it -unless he was winning, then he was all smiles.
Total Jekyll and Hyde personality.
Im sure it depends onwhat way the wind is blowing as to whether he can smile or smirk

As a family we have not done a lot this summer, we live on the coast so the beach is not that far from us so have spent some time down the beach (which both kids enjoyed) but when it comes to anything else ds is simply not interested. He's too busy off with his friends.

He's more a mix of Jekyll/hyde/ Kevin and Perry all put together :rotfl:
Lovely combination

Its hard work sometimes isnt it? What I wouldnt give to live near the coast must be lovely to see the sea an hear it.;)

lessonlearned

It does get better - honest.

I've just spent a happy hour or so with DS2 making a fire in the chiminea in our gartden, drinking a cup of coffee with him. Just poking the fire, watching the flames and chatting.

He's 25 now and has grown into a lovely human being. He is always clean and presentable, wears cologne and has even started tidying his room occasionally. At 13/14 he was just a Neanderthal:D.

Your daughter sounds like a perfectly normal teenager.

Chose your battles, don't sweat the small stuff. Give her time - she'll get there eventually. There'll come a day when she'll be more than happy to spend time with you - just not now.

You'll just have to be patient.:rotfl::rotfl:

scheming_gypsy

Butterfliesarepretty wrote: »

My daughter is 13, shes staying with me for two weeks. Anyway she just does not want to walk anywhere even to get some fresh air. We went to my aunty's in haverhill tuesday for two nights and she sulked when we went for a day out in cambridge, even though we had seen a film too. We did what she wanted to do but when it comes to what I wish to do she sulks. I have to nag her to shower brush her hair, even get up, and tidy her room while she stays and I make her do the washing up and make her own lunch.

She is mostly good and helpful, but when sulk comes on its probably three words i get out of her. I suggested monday we go to manchester and go and look around the free museums etc and have lunch out. she doesnt like musuems. she wont try anything new. So monday we are going to my sisters which she does want to do.

I think my daughter is quite good, but just sometimes she doesnt want to clean herself up. And she suffers when she is on her period. So it means I dont go anywhere either unless she does.

Anyone else get stressed about these things?

i'm a 27 year old bloke and i'm with your daughter on this. If somebody tried to take me for a walk or round free museums, i'd probably sulk as well, it doesn't sound very exciting

bleh

Ha sounds like me when i was 13. She'll grown out of it

rainbow81

Butterfliesarepretty wrote: »

Dont assume things please. I dont resent taking time off at all, its my first leave from work this year and Im enjoying it. I get a lot of time to myself as I work fulltime and most evenings are just me. I would like to enjoy it with my daughter, also I cant always go out paying for stuff all the time.
Im trying to be a good parent and remember how I felt at that age but my parents didnt want to go out.
You can only try your best. She has a bike and I have asked her to cycle with me, she prefers to spend time on the laptop these days. So today i have left her to play on the laptop and I have rewhitened the grout in the bathroom, another job done.

Tomorrow we are off to longsight to visit my sister and her children and my daughter is looking forward to it, she wants to go.

I wasn't assuming anything, I was just saying how it sounded to me. I don't doubt you are trying your best, in fact I understand your feelings as my son wants to stay in all the time too and it does annoy me because I offer all these exciting things (cinema, bowling, driving range...etc) and it's always a no.

Is there any hope of limiting laptop time? I don't know if it's a bit late in the game/holiday for that but you never know, she might be more receptive to suggestions without FB keeping her amused.

Enjoy your day tomorrow.