Teenagers - why do they not want to walk or go anywhere?

Butterfliesarepretty

rainbow81 wrote: »

That bit stuck out for me - she's not there to entertain her dad or you. If she wants to miss out on what you consider "fun" then let her. She's probably just making a stand. I'm sure it will continue for many more years!

Does she go out with her friends when she can? Maybe she would rather be doing that than hanging around with her parents. I'm sure at 13 I wouldn't have considered it very "cool" to be off out with my mum or dad, whatever the activity.

I do have a child who never wants to do anything while I'm raring to go, so I do understand it's frustrating to be faced with negativity when you want to give them a nice time. However, I think if you force the issue you will drive a wedge between you. If you NEED to go out and she has to come with you then that's obviously when you have to put your foot down. But if she doesn't want to go round museums, is it that big an issue?

yes she does go out with her friends at home. Im dropping her off at her cousins next week (the ex's sister's daughter) they dont like me as a person or her mother so dd has asked me to drop her around the corner so they cant see me, that suits me as I dont want to see any of them.

Her cousin is 30 years old.
Her father is single and i am single.
I get asked on dates but say no because I wont leave my daughter in the house alone at night.

pigpen

I wouldnt leave mine alone at night at 13 either

Id not be dropping her round the corner either.. sounds ike she is after sneaking off somewhere else rather than going where she said she is.. lying is normal too!

peevedandlostforideas

Butterfliesarepretty wrote: »

I get asked on dates but say no because I wont leave my daughter in the house alone at night.

It seems sensible although you can date in the daytime and maybe you suggest that next time. It may be an afternoon showing at the cinema or a coffee in town. but remember yourself too as your daughter will be out with her friends some days and when she's not with you you'll have some days anyway.

If you are happy and leading your life, it may rub off on your daughter. Would she have issues with you meeting someone else? Does she wish both her parents were still together?

Butterfliesarepretty

pigpen wrote: »

I wouldnt leave mine alone at night at 13 either

Id not be dropping her round the corner either.. sounds ike she is after sneaking off somewhere else rather than going where she said she is.. lying is normal too!

is she eck sneaking off somewhere else. my daughter lives 50 miles away from me normally, her cousin lives two or three miles away from my house.

Fact :- her cousin and I do not get on at all. She knows that and respects me. Besides that Im watching her walk in the house before i leave. Dragging a big bag behind her and living 50 miles away in chester she does not know my area and knows no friends around here. her cousin will drop her off back home in chester later in the week.

Butterfliesarepretty

peevedandlostforideas wrote: »

It seems sensible although you can date in the daytime and maybe you suggest that next time. It may be an afternoon showing at the cinema or a coffee in town. but remember yourself too as your daughter will be out with her friends some days and when she's not with you you'll have some days anyway.

If you are happy and leading your life, it may rub off on your daughter. Would she have issues with you meeting someone else? Does she wish both her parents were still together?

Im happy and leading my life, i am just off to tesco to nip out for stuff for me. she never has issues me meeting anyone else. shes happy for me to have somebody. No she does not wish her parents be back together, and its never ever going to happen.:o

VfM4meplse

At the age of 13 I hated my Dad, didn't want to spend any time with him, I just wanted him out of my face. No hidden agenda, it really was that simple.

luxor4t

claire16c wrote: »

I couldnt stand doing stuff my with my parents at that age! I spent all my summer holidays with my friends.

Now Im older I like spending time with my parents but at that age it was just totally embarassing. She sounds pretty normal to me!

I agree. Admittedly my parents were extremely tied up in weird hobbies like fossil collecting (think windswept beaches in November) and insisted on camping in remote and primitive fields in the back of beyond (without anything more than a tap), but even the day-to-day stuff was hard - being constantly judged or mocked for daring to have a different opinion etc
Also, I was tired a lot & my legs ached constantly - maybe I was anaemic, maybe growing pains - but the expectation was that I should have loads of energy.

mintymoneysaver

My 14 year old is exactly the same, and it's really upset me this year. I think I must have PMT or something! I never suggest the museum though, if she does want to do something with me it will involve shopping, the cinema or a meal out. I'm a teacher so I don't have to think of it as a waste of my holidays, but I really have felt this year that I'm reaching the end of the wanting to do things with me. My husband gets upset with it I know, as he doesn't want to go shopping, so they have absolutely nothing in common at the moment!

alex21

I feel pretty lucky as DS still does stuff with me an odd time (16yrs old) and as we have never had a car is used to walking. He will turn down lifts very often as he would prefer to walk listening to audio books and music. He has loads of friends and an active social life but still went to see the last Harry Potter with me saying that we had seen all the others so it was an important mark of the end of his childhood. I have the opposite cleaning problem, have to put my foot down as would shower and change twice a day and I think once is enough. His bedroom however requires breathing apparatus to enter. The truth is, they are just finding their way as we did but please be sensitive about the cleaning. I am in my forties and still remember my mum telling me to put on some make-up as I needed it. It wasn't intended to be hurtful but ouch! My mum tells me when I moan about DS that he is just a rebel without a cause!

emsywoo123

Butterfliesarepretty wrote: »

I get asked on dates but say no because I wont leave my daughter in the house alone at night.

I'm confused-I thought she didn't live with you?