Am I being silly?

squ1rrel5

My (now ex) husband had an affair and walked out on me 5 years ago and have not seen him since. We are now divorced. I went through various spells of depression and trying to get my life together after that but picked myself up and got on with my life - we married quite young so I just put it down as a mistake and carried on.
About two years ago I met an amazing man and everything is back on track. A few months ago we bought a house together and we are currently trying for a baby and all is well!!
I really want to get married again (for some reason the first time didnt actually put me off!) but am still waiting for a proposal!!
I have been really happy to wait as I dont want to rush my new partner into anything.

I recently found out (through the wonders of Facebook) that my ex husband is getting married again in two weeks time and now every time i think about it i get really upset and I'm not sure why! In no way do I still have feelings for him, I moved on from that a long time ago but I think all I feel is resentment that he is doing it before I am!! But I feel I that is such a childish thing to think!

Is it normal for me to feel upset or am I just being silly?

KiKi

Very normal.

You may not have romantic feelings for him, but you have lots of other feelings, and shared your life together for a time. Don't worry about feeling upset; as long as it's not because you want to be with him, then you've got nothing to worry about.

KiKi

peevedandlostforideas

Sounds normal to me.

When my ex first got together with her next partner it felt strange as she was now sharing things that she had shared with me, but now all I feel is sympathy for the guy

Good to hear you are happy in another relationship and moving on with your life

LillythePink

You are not alone in being like this as I went through the same thing as you a few years ago.

I left my ex for a man (who I am now married to) but my ex was single for a year or so, then met someone else and married before me.

When I found out (from him) that he was engaged again and was getting married it really upset me - not because of him but because of my situation - ie with someone else and with a ring nowhere in sight.

It took my man a further 4 years to propose and we married within a year.

You will get over it, it will just take time and you're being normal - not silly.

make_me_wise

squ1rrel5 wrote: »

I recently found out (through the wonders of Facebook) that my ex husband is getting married again in two weeks time and now every time i think about it i get really upset and I'm not sure why! In no way do I still have feelings for him, I moved on from that a long time ago but I think all I feel is resentment that he is doing it before I am!! But I feel I that is such a childish thing to think!

Is it normal for me to feel upset or am I just being silly?

I think its quite a normal reaction. Just keep focusing on the fact that you have your life and it is going great. Is your ex husband marrying 'the affair'. If so bare in mind that all that will be achieved by them getting married is the mistress vacancy will be open again! A leopard never changes its spots.

victory

Very, very normal:D

squ1rrel5

Thanks everyone, makes me feel a bit better. Thought I was being a bit mad after all this time!

Incidentally he's not marrying 'the mistress' - they did get engaged a couple of years ago but I believe he left her for this new one!!

All I can say is good luck to her!!! I'm sure there'll be a new one lined up in the next few years knowing him!!

I shall be patient and wait for my turn to come around again - I'm sure it will soon!!!

make_me_wise

Look at it this way. You are in a relationship where you are happy and secure and really in love. The woman marrying your ex is setting herself up for a life of insecurity and going by his record it will be over in the blink of an eye.

From an outsiders point of view your whole situation is a million miles better than theirs. All getting married gives you is a piece of paper and a load of hassle if it all goes tits up It doesn't make a relationship any better or stronger. You will either stay in it for the long haul or you wont, getting hitched doesn't effect the outcome.

jtr2803

nope, felt the same when my ex husband remarried even though it was me who left him!

I just always assumed it would be me who remarried first, I am still waiting for a proposal but we have a thread running in the weddings forum regarding that :rotfl:;)

gillypkk

its perfectly normal hun!

when i found out my estranged husband was engaged (all of a month after i left him!!) i was so angry and upset yet i had pretty much dealt with everything by then (turns out he lied about everything and i didnt even know him at all so was pretty easy to get over someone you didnt know)

he was a big part of your life.

yvonne13_2

What your feeling normal, You spent a lot of quality time with your ex so don't feel like your being childish.

Sometimes when a break up is one sided one person is usually felt feeling the weight, but now you can have closure as you have both moved on.

P.S don't rush into marriage, anyway perhaps you could ask him to marry you as it will soon be leap year