Trying for a Baby Part 7

Nicki

You feel sad because of what you have lost, not because of what you have though. Your two older children are beautiful and amazing and I am sure they bring you joy and pride every day, but some days that only reinforces what you have lost. It isn't wrong to grieve your loss or to feel pain at what might have been. And it is inevitable that an impending AF will bring these feelings to the fore, and also that you will be less able to cope with them due to the hormonal disruptions that AF brings in her wake.

Having suffered bad PND after the birth of my second child, when I had therapy coming out of my ears, I am now a great believer in letting yourself feel what you feel, when you feel it. And when you want to, and need to, you should talk about it freely and without embarrassment. And when you don't want to, you should not discuss it at all, whatever the experts say, because it will only bring more pain. So at the risk of being an armchair psychiatrist, when you feel crap and need to scream at the unfairness of it all, let it out, either IRL with good friends or your OH, or in the ether here, or on a miscarriage thread or site, or wherever you feel comfortable to do so.

If this isn't the month for you, do you feel able to see November/December as a new start with new hope? Sometimes the first few months after a miscarriage make you more fertile, but sometimes it has the opposite effect. I don't know whether you conceived your other children quickly and easily? Maybe the last couple of months have been BFN just because your body was recovering from the huge trauma it experienced, and next month you will be back to your normal fertile state? I know it is glib to say this, and each time my AF comes in the wake of my loss I struggle to get into this frame of mind too, so I apologise if this doesn't help tonight.

tinkwings

sexymouse wrote: »

You never know tinks, it could be pregnancy symptoms rather than AF. Keeping my fingers crossed for you that it isn't AF. *Flings some heroes over to tinks*

Oh quite like a hero!

tinkwings

Nicki wrote: »

You feel sad because of what you have lost, not because of what you have though. Your two older children are beautiful and amazing and I am sure they bring you joy and pride every day, but some days that only reinforces what you have lost. It isn't wrong to grieve your loss or to feel pain at what might have been. And it is inevitable that an impending AF will bring these feelings to the fore, and also that you will be less able to cope with them due to the hormonal disruptions that AF brings in her wake.

Having suffered bad PND after the birth of my second child, when I had therapy coming out of my ears, I am now a great believer in letting yourself feel what you feel, when you feel it. And when you want to, and need to, you should talk about it freely and without embarrassment. And when you don't want to, you should not discuss it at all, whatever the experts say, because it will only bring more pain. So at the risk of being an armchair psychiatrist, when you feel crap and need to scream at the unfairness of it all, let it out, either IRL with good friends or your OH, or in the ether here, or on a miscarriage thread or site, or wherever you feel comfortable to do so.

If this isn't the month for you, do you feel able to see November/December as a new start with new hope? Sometimes the first few months after a miscarriage make you more fertile, but sometimes it has the opposite effect. I don't know whether you conceived your other children quickly and easily? Maybe the last couple of months have been BFN just because your body was recovering from the huge trauma it experienced, and next month you will be back to your normal fertile state? I know it is glib to say this, and each time my AF comes in the wake of my loss I struggle to get into this frame of mind too, so I apologise if this doesn't help tonight.

Now crying my eyes out thank you for your amazing words xxx :A

tinkwings

emsbet wrote: »

You shouldn't feel bad for feeling upset. Having children already doesn't diminish the pain you feel over your loss, neither does it mean that you can't/shouldn't long for more children.

I know those days are bad when you think about where you would have been had the mc not happened (I'm having one too today which is why I've not posted much) and I think you have to allow yourself to have those days and grieve for your loss. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

xx

Thank you xxxxxxx :A:A:A:A

RebekahR

TinkyWings - I love you xx xx

kittycat1977

QQuaver wrote: »

Do you get any cm?:)

Not really sure what cm is:o, I guess it is some kind of discharge? If that is the case i didn't notice anything.

tinkwings

RebekahR wrote: »

TinkyWings - I love you xx xx

Love you more ;):D

kittycat1977

Congratulations Rebekah.

Sorry to hear you are feeling down tinkwings.

RebekahR

tinkwings wrote: »

Love you more ;):D

Did I make you feel better? :rotfl:

QQuaver

Hello Tigerlilly:wave:
I've been TTC on and off since June 2009 too:o
Would you like to be listed on the first page? And on the Team Sticky list?

MrsRobertson, welcome back:wave:
How was Las Vegas? Tell us all about it, we have time:D
Any pics?

Divorcinjack, 4am tomorrow morning?:shocked:
That'll mess up FF at the crucial time!:eek:

sexymouse, :rotfl: at the wife getting pg when hubby is on hols:D

Tinkwings, (((hugs))).

Kittycat, cm is cervical mucous:o One is supposed to get ewcm (egg white cervical mucous) just before ovulation, and is supposed to help the swimmers swim to the egg. It can't swim on thin air:D