Trying for a Baby Part 7

tea_lover

codemonkey - big hugs hun xx. You rant all you like, sometimes you need it! I know what you mean about "why can't I do this", that's totally what I'm thinking today. Why can't I do this, and why on earth would OH stay with me when I'm never going to be able to do this.

mrsj28

tea_lover wrote: »

why on earth would OH stay with me when I'm never going to be able to do this.

Nooooo please never think that tealover - I am sure your OH loves YOU for exactly who YOU are. When DH and I got married I was very conscious that 'us' has to be enough and that having children, whilst EXTREMELY important to us both, would be a brilliant extension of who we are, but I am a big believer that we should be enough for each other as we are.

(Sorry, I shouldn't be projecting my own thoughts onto you really, but I just don't want you to feel inadequate. I know that after today's appointment you must be feeling all sorts of things). Right, I'll shut up now and you can ignore the above, but please accept a big hug!

codemonkey

mrsj28 wrote: »

(((hugs))) we totally understand Feel free to rant as much as you like on here, hope it will help a bit.

My two best friends both got pg on their first month of trying, and we used to joke about them being super fertile (before I started trying) and now I feel like I'm totally sub-human because it didn't work first time. Which is ridiculous, because everybody has a different journey to get their baby. And if I'd got pregnant on my first try, I wouldn't get the same baby that I WILL have eventually, and that baby will be perfect for us.

That just made me cry! I think I may be a crazy amount hormonal.

It's just...most people I know got pregnant in their first month trying. One didn't even have to come off the pill. Everyone else in my family could grow tomatoes in their hair. Its just baby after baby after baby. I've never even managed to get pregnant. I dont know if I can. My stupid OH can't seem to accept that if we wait, it'll be even more difficult than it is now and this month kind of felt like it was the last chance.

codemonkey

Sorry tealover. Probably shouldnt have posted that after your news. I'm hoping all the ladies on this board get their sticky beans. I second what mrsj said. Your OH loves you for you, not the baby making parts.

TTC40

QQuaver wrote: »

TTC40, there's always a chance that lap will be all you need to get pg, but I know what you mean, earlier you do IVF, more chance of being pg (due to better eggs).
Hard one:think:

If I had all the money in the world, then I might do IVF first and hope for the best. If it fails, then free NHS lap, and few months later (you have to leave few months between IVFs), another IVF?

It was easier for us in that DH's sperm will never reach the egg (bar miracle) so ICSI all the way. I had bad experience with my first full blown IVF (got serious side effect called OHSS), so I'm onto mild IVFs now:o

Financially this makes sense as I've decided I am going to pay for something - either an early lap or IVF. By paying for the IVF I will still get the lap free if needed. If I pay for the early lap I will still have to pay for IVF (if needed).

However it seems wrong to do IVF first.

tea_lover wrote: »

Just got back from FS apt. Was all a bit overwhelming tbh. I came out of it feeling pretty down, but OH seemed to think it went well! I do sometimes wonder if we’re on the same planet.

Saw the consultant’s registrar who went through my history (basically lots of laps for endo). He recommended another lap, and said the waiting list was 6-8 weeks. By the time we got back to the waiting room he’d spoken to the consultant and the plan had changed. I’m now having HyCoSy to chwck my tubes, and then probably clomid. They’re going to do that first and then possibly another lap, but I’ve had one every 2 years for the last 6 years so the scar tissue’s really building up already.

Had some swabs and an US and that confirmed PCO.

Consultant said in his experience he thought we would most likely end up with IUI, and then IVF if that doesn’t work. Seemed like they didn’t give us any chance of it happening naturally.

Have now got to have loads of bloods done (CD21, CD28, CD2-4 and rubella). Don’t ovulate till CD30+ usually so not sure they’ll show much. OH has got to have SA – fingers crossed for that, don’t think I can take any more bad news.

Sorry for such an essay – just wanted to write it all down and for someone to tell me it’s not that bad! But it looks like it really is that bad.

Like others have said, it's good to have a plan & know there is some action.

CD1 here & I've been to the dentist for treatment so feeling doubly sorry for myself! Just consoling myself with tea & biscuits.

:money:Have bought Santatogen mother to be vitamins today on Boots 3 for 2. I bought 3 of the 90 day packets so I have 9 months supply! £13.29 each but got £4 off for spending £20 on healthcare & there was also 200 points for £20 spend (I appreciate not everyone gets the same offers). Therefore cost me £22.58 & I got 200 points.

Whilst I want to be pg, in 2012 many people post lots of irrelevant stuff on FB so important stuff like pregnancy & families are going to be on there. I think we all need to get our heads round this as it's not going to change.

Personally I have said plenty of things about pregnancy related stuff in the past which on reflection may have been unthoughtful but it was never meant nastily - I just didn't understand people's desire to have a baby. Now I do!

Hope everyone is warm & dry tonight.

Predict 6 please Q. Hope I'm very wrong & it's 16!

TTC40

http://www.thebabymaker.co.uk/arvigo_therapy.html

Got a 2 hour massage booked with this lady tomorrow. Should be interesting - I remain open minded about the benefits. She comes highly recommended.

Also got accupunture.

After going to the dentist today, I've decided to book the full MOT & get my eyes tested tomorrow too.

Who said a day off work would be restful?

claire16c

So Ive had 2 days now without using the eye mask after wearing it for 2 weeks and I havent really had time to use a light in the morning for more than 5 mins, but I did try to get outside for 10 mins today and luckily yesterday and today bang on time its been so sunny in the mornings so I just opened the curtains right up! And then went outside for 10 mins after work in the sun.

And today I had EWCM - on day 15 - earliest, EVER since coming off the pill! It could just be pure coincidence and Ive had it before at around day 17-20, and still not ov for like 10 days after, so I cant say that its properly worked yet, however, it certainly doesnt seem to have harmed anything. And its free and easy to do so I figure why not!

Just hope it actually makes me ov early too now. fingers crossed!!

maire1

Flippin heck! May already? I'd better make a prediction. 15 please qq, I'm feeling optimistic!

Am past ov but couldn't say how many days yet! Ovd on either cd14, 15, 16 or 17??? Waiting to see what ff decides! Two ok timed bds anyway so in with a better chance than last cycle!

Hugs where needed and sbdta! X

tinkwings

OMG - This waiting to OV is now getting creative too!!!! It looks like this month will be a bumper make month:o:D

Got bored of union jacks!!! :rotfl::rotfl:

time2deal

fluffnutter wrote: »

It's not bad.

The reason your OH is upbeat is because he's a man, and what he's heard from your consultation is 'there's lot of things we can do that will help you to have a baby. This is the plan'.

What you've heard is 'this will probably never happen naturally'.

He's also probably trying to keep your spirits up. My husband was always far more positive than me, and looking back, I love him all the more for it because I really needed that support and perspective.

You are no worse off than you've ever been. In fact, you're a step closer to your dream. It's hard but in a few days I think you'll feel a lot more cheery.

I can imagine it's very hard to accept it won't happen naturally, I'm terrified of that too. It's two sided - good to have a plan, but keep hoping for the old fashioned way working. It can still happen Tea Lover, but just consider this a backup option.

mrsj28 wrote: »

Usual pre-AF spots appearing on my face........

Two week wait has suddenly become agonising!!! Have a really busy couple of days coming up though so hopefully will be distracted from thinking about testing!!

fingers crossed mrsj.

codemonkey wrote: »

*delurks* sorry about what is no doubt going to be a self-pitying rant but I need to let this out somewhere where it will be understood.

Hugs code. I can only hope it will somehow work for us all. I can't really imagine this working ever, nothing seems to happen at all, despite mostly doing the right things.

Having said that, I am feeling slightly more optimistic this time around. I had a good chat to DH last night, and we really discussed things for the first time in ages. I must admit I hadn't really discussed properly ttc... I know that sounds crazy! We discussed it before getting married, and I kept hoping it would just happen without us having to talk about the fact that it wasn't working...

Anyway, had a really positive discussion, and now I am more confident that if we do need to 'go medical' we are really in this together. We had a BD to seal the deal!! Which means we have done 3 days in a row over ov which is all I can do this time around!

Generally feeling less stressed, and more ready to face what we need to to make this happen. I am so used to being in control of my life, and not relying on anyone, but it's a real relief to feel a bit more like we are in this together. I just wanted to be able to say 'it's done, we are pregnant!', but in some ways I should let OH and other people help more.

I will steal from zcrats list this month:

5) Let myself get excited but also plan nice things for if this month isn't our month.
6) Try and keep a lid on stress levels.
7) Remind myself that DH is part of this too, and remind myself how much I love him.

QQ - Can I predict 8 this month.