in really deep trouble

needingaccountability

He must surely take some of the blame, he must know what he earns and should have been asking questions if your lifestyle was outstripping your earnings!

RAS

You have two different problems

1. Short-term regarding the car; which means that you need to find some dosh from somewhere by the end of the month to fund a run around and the repairs bill.
Can you do any of this cheaper before you return it?
You have £500 and ouy need to find more.
Go round the house and work out what you do have that you no longer use (kids clothes and toys, stuff you no longer fit into or like, CDs etc). Think you need to car boot this to get as much cash as possible.
Also go over to the Old Style money saving forum and ask about a Store cupboard challenge - list the contents of the cupboards fridge and freezer and get a menu plant to reduce spends to close on nill for the next few weeks.
Stop spending on clothes, ents, haircuts, presents, haircuts until after September and sorting the car.

2. Longer term you have to do as Tixy suggests and reduce things like food, phone, insurance. And you need to work ASAP to get things into balance. You need to know APRs. I assume both cards are completely at their limit?

InDeepDebt

doneitagain wrote: »

...

My husband works in finance and drives over 80 miles to and from work every day. If we default on anything he will lose his job. ...


We cannot go to a debt plan as my husband would lose his job. Can anyone help me out of this hole?

Many thanks in advance.

Get your husband to double check his contract of employment. I work for a bank and we used to have to have a clean credit rating. However, following the credit crunch a few years ago the rules were changed - we're even allowed to be bankrupt or have an IVA - so long as we adhere to the terms of the IVA if one of the parties is my employer.

Jim

doneitagain

Thank you for all the replies and helpful suggestions. Sorry not to have responded earlier but my appearances will be patchy to start with as I work through the problems I have created.
Thanks Tixy for going thorough the SOA-

Council tax is in the right band
Possibly able to switch the house insurance
Food can definitely be cut back radically for at least the next couple of months (I went through a 'survival' phase a year or so ago and built up a lot of stores for emergencies so have loads of dry goods around plus the fact that I have NO appetite right now should see things drop a bit). Used to be a chef so have lots of ideas for frugal living.
Clothes- uniforms are imminent but apart from a couple of sweatshirts and two pairs of shoes we should be able to stagger it a bit up to Christmas
Presents- I left this high as it is covering kids birthday parties and my sons birthday coming up in October, but it will be variable and I am well aware of the need to keep it right down.
Petrol is what it is- 80 miles a day to work and back- there is the possibility of a company car in about 6-8 months but not a definite. I have been looking at second hand cars this morning and we will have to try for a cheaper option with whatever funds we can pull together in the next two weeks.
Shares are all in husbands name and he will not touch them.
The phone amount is a bundle which includes calls abroad (essential) and broadband.

The 1100 savings is in our main account and basically has to stop us defaulting on anything in the next couple of months until my income gets things back on balance. The job I resigned from was very part-time (6-8 hours a week), and I am looking for 16-20 hours at the moment. I have a lot of skills and experience and am determined to make this right again. I have also arranged to meet with a reputable partyplan company in mid-September. I am not a salesperson by nature but it may be an extra boost on top of working.

As far as the credit rating goes I checked on Equifax and it is not that bad but we cannot borrow anymore money due to the high loan and credit cards in relation to earnings- there are no payment issues on file. We can take a mortgage holiday for three months so I am going to arrange that for October, November and December. IF he is still in work, there may be a bonus in February/March which would allow us to either pay off some debts or change to a better more reliable car. I actually only finish work on Friday (long slow handover) so will get about £100 in wages in early September and husband has £200 in expenses to come through next month also.

I am not expecting to get much support from my husband. He has worked extremely hard over the last few years to improve our situation and I have consistently lied to him about the finances and what is in the savings. He does not want to run the finances. Not sure where we are heading to be honest.I bank online but have ordered monthly paper statements and plan on having a monthly finance meeting (if he is still around by then) to keep me on track.

Where did the money (including his bonuses)go ? Well I have tried to analyse this- partly I fell into the old trap of consolidating my credit card onto an ever-increasing loan and then ran up the credit card again. Partly I wanted to sustain a nice lifestyle (we had a couple of holidays, went out to dinner more than we should and overindulged each other and the kids with presents, treats etc.) and I have been lazy and stuck my head in the sand about our growing debt problem. Without the loan and credit card repayments we would be almost a thousand pounds a month better off.

Thanks again for reading and all the helpful suggestions. Today I am going to apply for more jobs, change the pet insurance, arrange the mortgage holiday, look for some stuff to Ebay or car boot and talk to my mum about the possibility of her supporting us a bit financially for a few months until I can straighten things out.

FireWyrm

Gosh you're in a pickle arn't you. As the others have said, start with a spending diary and analysis of your situation. It's going to take some willpower to get you out of this and you're going to need some support. This place is as good as any and probably better than most professional councellors, so I'd make myself comfy here.

doneitagain wrote: »

I am not expecting to get much support from my husband.

There's probably more support there than you think. He's mad at you, but you can be mad and still love someone. My DH is an absolute moron when it comes to money. He cant be trusted to run a kids savings account, let alone the household finances, so I do it. Since your DH is in finance himself, it's somewhat odd that he doesnt feel the need to run the house too....is there something more to this?

doneitagain wrote: »

He has worked extremely hard over the last few years to improve our situation and I have consistently lied to him about the finances and what is in the savings. He does not want to run the finances. Not sure where we are heading to be honest.I bank online but have ordered monthly paper statements and plan on having a monthly finance meeting (if he is still around by then) to keep me on track.

OK. You need some spreadsheets to help too. Excel is a great start and I use if for summing up. I keep a spending diary religiously on my phone and analyse the situation almost daily to make decisions as to what can be bumped and what needs paying.

doneitagain wrote: »

Where did the money (including his bonuses)go ? Well I have tried to analyse this- partly I fell into the old trap of consolidating my credit card onto an ever-increasing loan and then ran up the credit card again. Partly I wanted to sustain a nice lifestyle (we had a couple of holidays, went out to dinner more than we should and overindulged each other and the kids with presents, treats etc.) and I have been lazy and stuck my head in the sand about our growing debt problem. Without the loan and credit card repayments we would be almost a thousand pounds a month better off.

Normally, most people would be able to deal with this situation with some radical rethinking of spending patterns, but in your case, I think you're in for the long haul. The others have suggested cutting spending in various places so I wont rehash that, you know what you need to do, but it's really a drop in the ocean. In reality, you are over £33,000 in debt with unsecured, not counting the mortgage. If it was me, I would be thinking more radical thoughts. This is unpleasant and I'm sorry, but you need to consider the option of selling your house and taking as much of the debt pressure off as you can. The housesale will likely not pay off all of your debt, but it might pay a significant portion of it. If your assessment of your personal situation is anywhere near reality (and I'm not saying that it is), you might end up selling anyway, or losing it because you cant meet the mortgage because of other debts you cannot default on. Better head it off at the pass now before you end up with a wrecked credit rating. Normally, I wouldnt care much about credit, but if the plan to sell the house comes to fruition, you're going to need to rent and your credit rating might not make that very easy. You obviously cant go on like you are and short of winning the lottery, I see no real viable way out. Reducing monthly spending is like putting a sticking plaster on a sucking chest wound. It might give you a few more months of grace, but eventually, you're going to bleed out. Radical surgery now might just save your life figeratively speaking.

Magpie23

Hi,
I didn't want to read and run, plus you have some great advice in the above posts so I'll keep it sweet.

You WILL get through this!!

I know it's tough, more so on the emotional issues than the financial ones. I know Hubby's upset, just give him a wide berth at the moment and let him notice all of the little things you are trying to do make amends. You said you got through it before, and you will do so again. He will come round eventually. Now stop talking about IF he'll be here, IF he'll have a job. Of course he will, to both, just stop adding fuel to the fire and offering him a 'get out of jail free' card. If he is in Finance like you say, then his first priority should have been to safeguard his family's finances before setting up anyone else's.

You're both in it for the long haul (marriage: richer/poorer, better/worst) so take out those holiday snaps and feel what it was like being free for a moment and know that you will achieve financial independance permanently this time and you'll do it together and make that your joint goal over the years to come.


I've found the hardest part was actually pulling my head out of the sand, in the first place (which you've done). You'll see the world a lot better when it's facing you the right side up .

Best of Luck,
Magpie23
-x-

curlytop12

firewyrm-it appears they are in neg equity with the mortgage though?

doneitagain

Not in negative equity no but we do not have any equity in the property. If we sold now looking at the market around us we would just about break even after legal costs etc. I would view that route as a very last option. I don't drive but we live in a town and there are jobs out there so I would hope that I can at least get us near to break even on a monthly basis by the end of the year and then start throwing everything I can at the debt. Last time this happened I was pregnant with my second child and my work prospects were not nearly so good- the boys are now both in full time school (since Easter) which gives me more flexibility to work plus I have been in a part-time job for five years which looks better on my cv than last time when I had been at home with my eldest son for a year and a half.

DS4215

If you sold up and moved could you relocate closer to your OHs job - cut down his commute and save petrol at the same time?

You owe a lot, but you can get there eventually. I owed a similar amount when I started and 18months later still a lot, but can see it coming down (slowly) and our income is a lot lower than yours (at least £100 a month less depending on OT).

Why not have a look on the freelance sites (odesk/elance/PeoplePerHour) and see if you can find something that you can do from home in the daytime or evening. If you can cut down your spending from above and bring in an extra £100 a month, throw the excess towards the lowest visa until you clear it. Then take that payments and the excess and put it on the £3800 visa. It will take some time, but you can do it if you want it enough.

msgnomey

With regard to keeping track of your spending I found the most useful thing for me was to have my bank text me a mini statement each day, that way I could see exactly how much was in the bank, what I had spent the previous day and what I had left to spent. It mad a hug difference to my spending habits and I am now much more aware of my spending

Hope that helps