Depression

rose07

blinky wrote: »

Sorry I haven't been around much. I've been very busy and haven't had much of interest to say

I hope you are all doing well and hope you all get a little better each day.

Huge hugs to all,

Hi Blinky

nice to see you

and here are some hugs right back at ya hun


x

rose07

flis21 wrote: »

Hi All,

Have just got back frmo physio and am now REALLY depressed. My ankle has got worse not better. They wanted me to stop working, but I pursuaded her to let me carry on. However I have to go back to using my crutches again when walking outside and increase the number of times a day I am exercising it.

Hi Flis, i understand ya position hun. Drags you down dont it? I think you should do what you need to make you feel good, if it means working, do it. Do what makes you happy. Just listen to professionals too, and remember to take advice

She also said that when I go on holiday (3 weeks on Saturday) depending on how I do over the next couple of sessions, I am either going to have to take my crutches or a walking stick.

Look forward to the holiday flis, where are you going? I know what a pain crutches are, just today and recently i have been struggling with my crutches, having to go around on crutches is certainly no fun

Feel so down, thought I was progressing so well and really feel that I have gone backwards again.

take care hun
xxxx

rose07

Let_Robinson_Sing wrote: »

Rose hun,

Dont feel like a baby. You were not a baby at all. If it's painful there is no shame in letting out a good scream lol. I did it when i had my stitches out a few years ago. hopefully those pain killers and AI'S will do their work :cool:

thanks hun



hope you doing ok?

my pain doesnt seem to be getting better, i know i have bruising all over my foot from the operation, and having the plaster on, is pressin on those bruises, makin my pain constant. . But now i am convincing myself that the pain doesnt matter as i somehow deserve it

take care hun x

rose07

mclaren wrote: »

Hi guys - ive decided to go to the GP tomorow - i cant do this on my own, and today has been hard.

Not been the best birthday though - was told that in the early hours of this morning, my cousin who was battling with sistic fibrosis all his life had died. was only 25yr old anaw.

Part of me thinks i am being completly selfish now. My cousin has just died, and i am thinking about me. I dont even know where to begin to start to think........ my mind is mush right now

Hi again

How did the GP go?

Happy belated birthday mc



So sorry to hear about your cousin, i know that has been something on your mind. Im here if you need hun, but i know you like your space also.

And dont talk !!!! about thinking of yourself, sometimes the best thing to do, is think about yourself hun, because by doing that, you make yourself stronger for dealing with things

take care

xxx

rose07

gillette147 wrote: »

Hi folkes,

Been cut off the net since monday lunch as I have swapped ISP. My modem was locked to BT (b*stards) but a bodge off the techie board has worked - I'm very surprised and happy.

I've read back but I have alot of other i.net stuff to catch up on.
I will post in more detail later.
Meanwhile....


Love and hugs to all of you.
xxx

Hi my favourite Badger

You happy with ya new ISP? Im having trouble with my FTP, bloody thing lol

How are you doing?

hope you well take care

from rosie

x

queensway_boy

Four o'clock in the morning
Afraid to open my eyes
Another day of grief,
A day of fear.
All alone I feel.
I try to justify all the pain,
All of this guilt before my eyes.
Another day of confusion,
A day of wondering.
Is it ever just going to go away?
All this pain that I feel,
And all this anger, is it going to stay?

Ten o'clock in the evening,
Afraid of the nightmares.
Again my breathing stops.
All I can do is stare into the night.
What is it that causes this feeling?
Another night of crying,
A night of hiding,
Alone once again.
My heart feels empty,
And I can't cry another tear.
Another day wasted on insecurity,
A day of wonder.
Is this ever going to end?

rose07

Tiff wrote: »

Hi rose!:hello:
How's you hun? not good?

Hi Tiff hun

How are you doing?

Wow - that's a heck of a party hun! That's the trouble in a crowd - you're guaranteed that someone will hurt your poorly bits.:o :rolleyes: I hope you managed to enjoy some of it angel.

tbh i didnt enjoy any of it, i spent my time, running around for others and being trampled and stopped so many times. I dont mind talking, but when its the same question and the same remarks about my foot, then its a bit too much

Now who in their right mind would threaten you at a party hun? And in your own home?
I bet your dad loved the party angel!:T Sometimes it's good to meet new people - you never know...;)

It was the taxi driver, she is nice enough, i just wanted to take a photo of her, so she threatened me:eek: , and you all thought being a photographer was easy lol :rolleyes:

We all change rose. Sometimes, it's hard for anyone to feel like 'me' - it can be part of a growing process. Once you're back on your feet, I hope you'll feel more like your old self.;)


I dont wanna change:o , i liked the person i was/am, oh i dont know, i dont wanna be something im not, or maybe im trying to be what i was, or maybe not, maybe i just want to be happy again. I feel nothing atm hun, well i feel empty

It may be a good time to check in with your care team hun - everyone's been concentrating on physical treatments for you and all too often, it's easy for the mental ill health to be forgotten.


I think your right hun, my mental health has been totally forgotten about. I rang my GP and my councellor and got no where, rang CRT and got no where too, i feel like i have a sign on me head, saying 'just ignore me' Im crying out for help, but cant be heard, what an earth do i have to do for someone to listen, for someone to talk to me and help??,

It sounds as though you're lonely and bored hun. That's enough to bring anyone down. Are their any other housing/work options on the island? Summer tourists will be there soon. Is there family there you could stay with for a couple of weeks - just to give yourself a change? Have a talk with your social worker/cpn hun - they can have lots of resources.


Your right Tiff
Im bored outta my brain, cant work on my website atm as having major technical probs :mad: , started making a video today to try and keep creative, but i have lost interest, really at a lost. I never loose interest in my video work etc... But its gone Its at least a 2 year waiting list for a house hun. I have family all close by, but no one i could stay with, im truly stuck. I dont have a cpn or a social worker hun, i have no-one I can talk to.

I'm glad you've got an appointment tomorrow for your foot angel. Get your meds delivered and that should help to stop you from running out as they only deliver when the prescribed amount is about to run out and they also remind you when you need to see the doctor about refills. If your pain relief isn't enough, make sure you tell the dr hun.:o


Yeah got my meds. It just scares me tho how many i do have now. I dont know if i should say this:.....but i actually sat last night contemplating ODing, scared me as i havent thought like that for ages. I didnt but the sheer fact i have done it before scares me as i know i can do it again. I feel soo weak atm, pathetic really.

I also had a visit from someone today, that, well, dunno actually
/quote
That's an unusual sentence to end on rose?
Hmmm, soz, im not really thinking clearly atm,that someone rang me 3 times today too, it aint good

I know you're feeling low angel, but please be brave enough to pick up the phone and call your gp if you need extra help hun. You can do this hun. They've helped you before rose and you always come back just that little bit stronger.;) I'm hoping a good dose of this sunshine is cheering you up a little. Good luck with the dr hun. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

As i say tried the GP, basic thing is cant see my GP till next week, and i dont know if i can wait that long, guess time will tell. And i cant get out and enjoy the sunshine either, not enjoy it the way i would like. Everything is getting to me, i have became grumpy and impatient, simple things like getting ya own breakfast, picking things up, i cant do, and the people im having to rely on, see it as a problem more than anything, and the environment im in is soo disruptive, i just cant cope, god im practically in tears!

Im sorry for such a long/depressing post, its just where im at atm. Hope it dont bring anyone of yas down x

I thank you Tiff and everyone for your support, as I really do appreciate it

Tiff when is the wedding your going to?

and how are you doing?

take care hun

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

dmg24

Hope no one minds, I just don't know where else to go. Left the house tonight for the first time in two weeks, and really thought I looked ok. Then during the evening got called an 'oompalumpa' and 'fat'. Fat I can cope with, I know I have put on weight recently, but the other took real thought. Just tried to laugh it off when he said it.

Why are people so cruel?

I used to be in an incredibly destructive relationship. I saw him tonight, and was so tempted to go back, just to have someone that understands. He was evil to me, but when I was low, he understood.

I'm really sorry, I have avoided posting all this for so long because I don't want to get anybody else down. I just don't know where else to go.

Thank you to anyone who reads this, and please don't worry, everything works out in the end. Am going to try to sleep now, I don't know what else to do.

Thank again x

Tiff_2

indeeptrouble wrote: »

Just thought I'd say a quick hello. I have been lurking around this board for many months now.

I have suffered from depression for about 4 years now. Off and on I've been on meds. I thought I'd conquered it over the last few months. No meds. Feeling a bit better and then 'bang' - I was suspended for work for apparently performance related issues. Ten years I've been working for this so called company. Do they know how hard it is to get to work each day? Do they care?? And on top of that my performance has manged to stay on top. Just about. I'm certainly not the worst performer. I'd say about middle.

So I'm sitting at home suspended and feeling really low. I mean really low. I've spoke to my union who says I have nothing to worry about. That is all well and good but my line manager is a right b*tch. She really is in for causing trouble for me.

Indeeptrouble

Hi idt!
Thanks for posting hun, you're most welcome here.
It sounds like you've found various ways of managing your depression hun and I would hope your gp supervised you stopping the ads.

One positive I see, is that you say you were feeling better before this work issue arose.

I'm sorry you've had such a shock angel. Imho, this would have been a huge shock and setback to anyone - with or without depression. You are bound to be feeling the way you do angel.

It may not be time to panic over whether the depression has returned yet hun - you're still reeling from what's happened. If you are still worried, then I'd suggest your gp is one of your first contacts idt, just to be sure.;) Don't leave it if you're worried, as we all know how quickly depression can move.

You did the right thing talking to your union rep.
Try and write down as much as you can about all the issues at work. Are there other people doing worse than you that you could name them as examples if asked to?

Document everything. If there are any problems with your line manager, mention examples of those too. Have you ever reported her for anything?

I know no-one wants to rock the boat guys, but if you at least document any work issues you have, you will be able to rely on these if any situation arises.

In addition to your rep, it may be worth a visit to CAB for free advice hun. Their website www.adviceguide.org.uk
also has a list of legal and also advice factsheets free to download.

I know it's easier said than done but try and relax over the break hun - it'll leave you in a better frame of mind to fight your corner. The last thing you should do is go storming back, no matter how angry you are - it'll stop you from thinking properly.
Use this time to calmly prepare your case. That way you'll feel like you're doing something positive and that will take some of the pressure off. I wish you lots of luck with work and home hun. Sorry I can't be of more help. Feel free to post anytime. The guys here are wonderful!:T
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Why am I so intent on self destruction. All I do is look at different ways of hurting, punishing myself.