Depression

blinky

learning_to_drive wrote: »

What more could I have done to get a job? The waiting is killing me, im almost wishing any sort of news so that I can get focussed on getting a proper job, sometihng that I can get into, I just hate the waiting, preparing myself for something then to be crashed to earth when I realise I havent got it.

It is very frustrating looking for jobs, particularly if you aren't working. Always seems that you get further if you are working and looking for jobs. I hope you don't take this the wrong way but the time out of work and the short time at ASDA (nights) are probably working against you.

You just have to keep plugging away - apply for as much as possible and try not to be dispondent when rejections occur.

Pumpkin_Pie_5

Hi all

Woah am I tired! And a bit shaky and a bit weepy - I guess thats normal.

I'm seeing our pyschological well being adviser tomorrow too. And my CBT chappie.

Anyway sorry for n ot replying properly but I'm going for a lie down

Love you all

Pumpkin xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

gillette147

Just saying hello to you all,

I was with g/f then in brum over easter. Got back lastnite and just read back.
Quite quiet for you lot xx

Good luck to rbk and pumpkin for returning to work.
Stick at it LtD mate.
Hiya to CC - things are getting there slowly for you xx
LRS - wish i'd come with you. Sounds an interesting place.
Tiff and Sazzy - The A(++) team xx
gl, elona, rose, stenny, blinky et al - my thoughts are with you all.

I'm ok.
Money is getting tight now (out of work for 5mths). I have been supplementing my income by doing some matched betting and casino bagging.
So I can't look at MSE and play blackjack.

I have the rest of the month free-ish and then I'm revising for the next exams thru may.

My mood is ok. I have 2 more conselling sessions but not til next week. I'm getting headaches again (but nothing like as frequently as before).
My relationship with g/f is good. I decorated my mom's bvedroom while I was in Brum - so she's happy.

The sun is shining and that always helps my mood too. The world is a wonderful place. It's just money and people messing it up.

xxxx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Well my first day at work is over.

Dizziness/nausea/anxiety is still present.

For some reason I could easily burst into tears.

xjlmummy

Tiff wrote: »

Hi
Hi Tiff

Thanks for your useful and thoughtful reply, I really appreciate your kindness. I'll try to respond to your points...

Well I'm having a rough time at the mo what with life in general and my dad's illness in particular. I had a massive panic attack on the M6 while driving on business a couple of weeks ago and haven't been back to work since. Dr has signed me off sick with "anxiety" and I'm on anti-depressants and valium...
No wonder you had a panic attack hun, it sounds like you've got more than enough on your plate and that you're trying to stop it all from slipping off the sides! I'm sorry to hear your dad's ill hun.:o

My dad has end-stage lung cancer, probably only a couple of months to live, I'm the only family he has.
Ok angel, yes you did the right thing in seeing your gp.:T When did you last see him? Has gp asked to see you again angel? Have they suggested counselling or getting you an assessment? I'd ask for one if not hun. This means you'll be assessed by the mental health team and from there, you may be referred to a psychologist, psychiatrist,counselling or a number of other options.

I saw the GP on Thursday last, I have to go back on the 18th or before if I'm worse.
Have you had this before?
I had post natal depression 2 years ago and was off sick with ?reactive depression for 2 months last summer (different employer). I was signed off after 18 months counselling in December, it was from the CMHT and CBT based. No formal psych assessment so far. btw I trained as a psychi nurse, worked in the field for 15 years!:eek:
Do you have any children?
3 boys aged 14 (he's mildly autistic), 9 and 2
I'm not prying but obviously, the more we know about, the more ideas we might have hun.;)

My boss is deeply unsupportive and sent me a letter threatening me with disciplinary procedure because (due to the bank holiday weekend) my sick cert only got to him today. I get only SSP, no company sick pay.
You know what hun - this is actually good because he's been thoughtful enough to give you that in writing.;) If I were you, I'd write a reply angel, keep a copy and then post it recorded delivery. Be nice in it and make sure you answer all his points calmly, with a valid reason.

This may be useful if at some point, things go wrong - you'll have this evidence to show you were co-operating. I'd also say to document everything hun - every phone call, letter etc. that you send or receive. Keep copies of everything. Imho, it is totally unacceptable for your boss to bully you or intimidate you in any way. If he's been genuinely nasty in his letter hun, then you will be able to take action against him later on if it continues. You need support not unhelpful letters angel!

That's really helpful Tiff, I'll try and write a response and send it tomorrow.

If this goes on much longer, my CC payments will be in jeopardy. The ones I took out after joining MSE have no ppi, but a couple of the earlier ones and my mortgage do, which should kick in at day 30 of sickness.
Your next port of call is CAB hun. They can contact your companies and explain to them what's happened and try and re-negotiate terms with them until you're either in better health or you get more medical referrals/treatment. They could ask the companies to hold off on any interest in goodwill as you have been trying to pay your debts to this point.

I've paid all the ones due in this month and set up minimum payment DDs for the future; the mortgage is the big one of course but I'm going to ask for a payment holiday based on dad's illness. But yes, I'll try CAB too.
Trouble is, reading the small print today, some of them say they exclude sickness due to "stress-related conditions" unless one is under a consultant psychiatrist (which I'm not). Does that mean they can just not pay out? Will my GP refer me to a psychiatrist purely to satisfy this clause, or do I need to smash a window/jump off a bridge/assault a police officer in order to get one?
Actually the above seem quite reasonable options the way I'm feeling.
S.x
It must feel completely overwhelming for you angel. If you feel suicidal at all, please phone your gp and get some help hun. You can call the Samaritans too. In those circumstances, you need urgent professional help hun.
I know. TBH it's only my boys keeping me going at the moment.

This won't help you now hun, but other people have been in this position and come out of it. With practical problems like debt, there's always an answer to find ok angel? For other issues like your dad, there is support for you hun.
I know, people are great, I'm just not good at asking for help!
It sounds like everything's hitting you at once and how you're feeling is natural hun. Please don't do anything on the spur of the moment hun.

The ppi may be a longer issue as you may have to wait until you've been referred to a psychiatrist but I think it would be backdated once that had been arranged. If you're ill enough and the assessment supports this, you probably would be referred on angel. Again, mention this to CAB.

PPS My OH is on incapacity benefit so no he can't pay stuff for me
Is OH long term ill hun?
If someone is struggling with very ill health - even solely mental ill health - you may qualify for Disability Living Allowance to help. It's not means tested so you don't have to be married, working etc. It's purely based on how an illness affects your daily life and confirmation by your gp.
It's a huge form and if you send off for it, make an appointment with CAB to help you fill it in hun - this is crucial because you have to be very careful with the wording and they are professionals at this.
Yeah, he had a breakdown 14 years ago, before I knew him. He was getting DLA until last year but lost it in autumn and couldn't face the appeal process.

By doing all these things hun, you're breaking everything down into manageable pieces which will make it all easier to deal with. So first stop gp, followed by CAB hun. You must be completely honest to your dr about how you are feeling hun. Don't worry, they'll have seen it all before. There is help and support for you angel.;)

The guys on here give fantastic advice hun, so feel free to come on any time - somebody passes through a lot of the time. Keep us posted and take care angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Thanks again Tiff, you're a star, I'll try to take it step by step as you suggest.
S.x

learning_to_drive

It is very frustrating looking for jobs, particularly if you aren't working. Always seems that you get further if you are working and looking for jobs. I hope you don't take this the wrong way but the time out of work and the short time at ASDA (nights) are probably working against you.

You just have to keep plugging away - apply for as much as possible and try not to be dispondent when rejections occur.

It's true, as me and the g/f were saying tonight, I wasnt happy on nights, but hey ho, just got to keep waitng.

rose07

Hi everyone just popping by....

Im afraid im really not well at the moment, been hiding away in my shell for the last week or so, something has happened in the last week, and im really not ok, feel i could burst at any moment, and dont know what to do. Im broken inside, and im soo numb.

Wont go into detail now, i just am soo on edge right now, just realised that if anything happened to me, there would be a community wondering where i was, yes im talking bout you lot. , so just want to let you all know im in one piece ,just,:rolleyes: . god i just wanna burst into tears, but cant.

Will explain sometime over weekend, but love to you all RBK, Tiff, Sazzie, CCStar, Blinky, LRS, LTD, Gillette, Stenny, PP, and any newbies and anyone i have forgotten, ok im off to hide under my duvet, tho cant sleep, mind too sore

love ya allll

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tiff_2

Hi xjl!:hello:
Hope you're feeling better now that you've been able to open up hun.;)

quote=xjlmummy
Hi Tiff
Thanks for your useful and thoughtful reply, I really appreciate your kindness. I'll try to respond to your points...
Thank you hun - it's not a problem at all.;)

My dad has end-stage lung cancer, probably only a couple of months to live, I'm the only family he has.
I'm so sorry about your dad angel. It's a horrendous situation to be in and you have my deepest sympathy hun.
Is dad getting DLA? If he applies, they will pay him immediately because he has a terminal illness hun.
You may also be entitled to claim a carer's allowance for the time you're with him angel. You've probably done all this but just in case hun.


I saw the GP on Thursday last, I have to go back on the 18th or before if I'm worse.
Ok angel, if you feel almost suicidal, which is the impression I get, then you need to go back before then. It seems you've got a lot to deal with angel and no-one helping you. You have done a wonderful job so far angel.:A

Social Services can run befriending schemes for children who don't get out much so it may be worth checking with your Children's and Adults Services to see what's on offer.

DIAL would be another resource that may be able to help with dad hun.

I had post natal depression 2 years ago and was off sick with ?reactive depression for 2 months last summer (different employer). I was signed off after 18 months counselling in December, it was from the CMHT and CBT based. No formal psych assessment so far. btw I trained as a psychi nurse, worked in the field for 15 years!:eek:

With what you've said here hun, I would make a point of asking for an assessment. You obviously have a history of mental ill health angel and I'd have thought that would have been done before now. I'd also ask your gp to refer you back to CMHT - did you have a CPN hun?
Well done on staying so long in such a crucial field angel!:T One point here is that, depending on how you feel, you know you can request to be seen outside of your catchment area. It may not feel necessary to you angel and that's fine - you will know how seriously patient confidentiality is regarded.


3 boys aged 14 (he's mildly autistic), 9 and 2
There's a scheme running nationally for parents with children under 5 called Sure Start I think. They can provide practical and advisory help hun.
Is there any other family around to help you out at all angel?

My boss is deeply unsupportive and sent me a letter threatening me with disciplinary procedure because (due to the bank holiday weekend) my sick cert only got to him today. I get only SSP, no company sick pay.
You know what hun - this is actually good because he's been thoughtful enough to give you that in writing.;) If I were you, I'd write a reply angel, keep a copy and then post it recorded delivery. Be nice in it and make sure you answer all his points calmly, with a valid reason.
This may be useful if at some point, things go wrong - you'll have this evidence to show you were co-operating. I'd also say to document everything hun - every phone call, letter etc. that you send or receive. Keep copies of everything. Imho, it is totally unacceptable for your boss to bully you or intimidate you in any way. If he's been genuinely nasty in his letter hun, then you will be able to take action against him later on if it continues. You need support not unhelpful letters angel!

That's really helpful Tiff, I'll try and write a response and send it tomorrow.
I've left your original point above and my reply in to this part just in case you want to refer to it tomorrow hun.
You are entitled to sick leave angel. Just make sure your letter is very calm and non-sarcastic and factual. (Tiffy's been known to write letters!:D :whistle:)
If you need any help with it hun, give me a shout.;)

I've paid all the ones due in this month and set up minimum payment DDs for the future; the mortgage is the big one of course but I'm going to ask for a payment holiday based on dad's illness. But yes, I'll try CAB too.
Inspite of how you are feeling angel, you are very well organized. CAB will fight your corner in the face of over-bearing companies hun. That gives you time with your dad which is what's most important. Let someone else take the strain wherever possible sweetheart.

It must feel completely overwhelming for you angel. If you feel suicidal at all, please phone your gp and get some help hun. You can call the Samaritans too. In those circumstances, you need urgent professional help hun.

I know. TBH it's only my boys keeping me going at the moment.
As I said hun, no wonder you're feeling the way you are!:o Imho, you are doing a terrific job and a great example to them. You are worth fighting for hun - don't give up.

I know, people are great, I'm just not good at asking for help!
Survivors always find it hard hun.;) Sometimes if you write it all down, that can be easier to explain how you feel etc., and you can show it to every agency you contact.
I know it's not much angel, but we're all here for you any time you want a rant or a hug.;)

PPS My OH is on incapacity benefit so no he can't pay stuff for me
Yeah, he had a breakdown 14 years ago, before I knew him. He was getting DLA until last year but lost it in autumn and couldn't face the appeal process
I would contact DIAL and/or CAB now hun. I know you've got a lot on but if OH is that poorly, and with everything else going on angel, reapplying for DLA will help your finances if approved. It may even be worth applying for yourself once you've been assessed.

The other thing you need to do imho, is to contact your local CMHT and ask for the contact number/details of your local Mental Health Advoctate.
As you may know, they work with people who have mental ill health to ensure they are receiving all the rights and help they're entitled too. They might support you with a variety of things, including helping out with the DLA papers.

Thanks again Tiff, you're a star, I'll try to take it step by step as you suggest.
S.x
You're a star yourself angel.:T In fact, this whole thread has got its very own constellation!:A
Keep us posted hun and if there's anything we can do, give us a shout.
Don't forget to look after yourself too angel!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

IFA

I'd like to give all you wonderful people a hug, because you all deserve it. Don't let the !!!!!!s get u down

gillette147

rose07 wrote: »

Hi everyone just popping by....

Im afraid im really not well at the moment, been hiding away in my shell for the last week or so, something has happened in the last week, and im really not ok, feel i could burst at any moment, and dont know what to do. Im broken inside, and im soo numb.

Wont go into detail now, i just am soo on edge right now, just realised that if anything happened to me, there would be a community wondering where i was, yes im talking bout you lot. , so just want to let you all know im in one piece ,just,:rolleyes: . god i just wanna burst into tears, but cant.

Will explain sometime over weekend, but love to you all RBK, Tiff, Sazzie, CCStar, Blinky, LRS, LTD, Gillette, Stenny, PP, and any newbies and anyone i have forgotten, ok im off to hide under my duvet, tho cant sleep, mind too sore

love ya allll

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Take care rosie xx