Depression

learning_to_drive

We all do, Im not so bad, Im just gettin really frustrated at the lack of news about a job, I just want to work full time, be well and earn some money like the good old days. Not be ill with a virus, then back for one night before my back goes, my sickness record is terrible and I hope that this wont count against me.

Still, hey ho

learning_to_drive

Very quiet here tonight, hugs to you all!

EthelBloggs

im finding the site really slow, takes ages to get a page to open if it opens at all

hope everyone's fine xxx

Tiff_2

UKTigerlily wrote:

Well I got pretty bad last night & took myself to the A&E department of the closest hospital, all I wanted was for them to refer me to the Crisis Resolution Team, which only takes a phone call, but it took almost seven hours, during which time they said if I left they'd have to call the police as I was considered a risk to myself. I ended up having an assessment in the EDU (Emergency Decisions Unit) with two nurses from the CRT & the Psychiatrist & they finally let me go just before 3am. They're supposed to be getting in touch with my Dr to see about getting a CPN which they keep trying to do & to see if my medication needs adjusting. I hate my downers!

Hi uk!:wave:
Hun, well done you for doing the smart thing and going to A&E! That takes courage.:T It's good that you know when you have to get help.
I don't think there's an A&E in the country that isn't over-stretched whatever you go for unfortunately.

Make sure you keep on their tails angel - don't allow things to drop.
You can also contact your own psychiatrist's secretary and see if you can get an emergency appointment hun. He may be in more of a position to access the help you need and will know your situation.

:money: I don't know if everyone knows but if you are on certain benefits, you can reclaim your bus fares for travelling to services for mental health, just as you can if you were going somewhere for a 'physical' illness or appointment or treatment or investigations, if you keep the receipts.

Hang in there angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

SoozieSoo wrote:

Thank you for your kind words, especially Tiff for taking the time to write such a wonderful reply.

Feeling a little better today. It is back to school, so I think that has helped. I have managed to do a little housework so the house is not so bad now.

I feel so weak as I have so little on my plate and yet I can't cope. What about those womne with 3, 4 children and a full time job? I have one child, no job and yet I still can't cope! That is why I have not told anyone, except for my husband as they would think I am having a laugh. I told my mum a few weeks ago that I was feeling stressed and she just laughed and I said I did not know what stress was and that I was a lady of leisure.

I am going to take this one day at a time.

Hi sooz!:wave:
You're more than welcome hun.;)
How are you feeling sooz?

Ok hun, you are the only person that you have to answer to. We have this awful tendency to try and compare our lives with those of others. We build this impossible benchmark up even more when we are ill angel.
Worrying about what you are/aren't doing, what people are/aren't thinking, is only going to make you feel worse sweetheart, so try not to put yourself through it. All that matters is that you concentrate on yourself. Try not to get frustrated either hun - very common to expect it gone and quick! - it'll take as long as it takes hun.;)
Just try and be as kind to yourself as you can and take little steps - it's not so far to fall if you are taking small steps hun.

It's understandable we do this though when you get a response like the one from mum. Maybe you could you sit mum down and have a serious talk with her. Tell her you need to talk to her about something important, as opposed to dropping it into a conversation. Make it a time just for this subject and if you want to take OH along for support.

Explain all the ins and outs and the effects it has on you, what the dr says, etc. and you may get a different response. She just may not know how mental ill health can feel or affect people angel. We forget that depression and other illnesses are not always down to stress and that there are different kinds of stress hun. Hopefully, once mum and family see what the illness is like, they'll be supportive.
Otherwise you're stuck with us lot!:D
I'm glad things are a bit easier for you angel.:T Keep talking to OH and let us know how you get on hun. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

MimiJane wrote:

I remember when my OH was told by a friend some time ago it was "all in his mind". We sometimes look back on that comment and have a chuckle ... it certainly is and not much to do with what you have to cope with a lot of the time! Other people have made comments to him like "what have you got to worry about, you've got money in the bank haven't you?". We may be lucky enough to have inherited a bit of money (really helped as he's been out of work for years), but it makes no difference to his depression ... just look at all the celebs. who suffer is my comeback comment.

It can be so difficult for others to understand when you get stressed and depressed and we have to bear with them as they'll never "get it" unless they suffer themselves or live with it ... so frustrating.:rolleyes:

We don't have kids and life's been b****y awful at times ... I greatly admire anyone who can bring up a child when they suffer from stress/depression. You're doing a grand job hun ... be proud and don't let others who don't understand get you down. Just take it one day at a time like you are doing and we're all here for you when you need us xx

Hi mimi!:wave:
How are you angel?
You're absolutely right - agree with all you said.:T
I admire the relationship that you and OH have - you're a really good team.
If we can take back a step sometimes and find that bit of sense of humour to get us through, it can work wonders to help you cope.
I don't mean making light of a sad situation or the illness though. We can't always see a funny side. Sometimes there isn't one.:o But we got a great resource in this board.:T
Take care hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

geminilady wrote:

Hi Ethel,Not so good at the moment,don't really want to go back on the ad's they don't change anythink just help you cope better.Not looking forward to work after last week.Went out with a workmate last night to try and cheer myself up,was an ok night club with a live singer but it has not helped my mood,finding it hard to motivate myself.I go to work because i have to butthe house is getting very run down.I do take notice of all the adviice on here though.Tiffs advice of breaking things down into little jobs is good,i must try and make more of an effort.

Hi gem!:wave:
How are you feeling hun? Sorry to hear you're a bit low gem. You've got a lot of strength hun.:T
Angel, I think going back on the ads might be good. No ads don't cure everything but as you said hun, they help you cope better so surely they're worth it just for that alone? You'd (not you personally gem;) ) still have debt, be unemployed, be in a bad relationship, have a missing cat, whatever problems you have, butyou would be in a better frame of mind to make decisions and to manage.
If your gp suggests them hun, think about it. We all want to be rid of our illnesses angel (see the Tiff epic from the weekend!:rolleyes: ), but even if we just learn to manage them and get as much out of life as we can, that's not so bad. It's better than the suffering caused by depression. No magical cures hun, but you can still have a great life.
Or [STRIKE]nine[/STRIKE] er, eight, of them if you're a Tiff!:D :rolleyes:
Thinking of you hun.
Much love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi rose!:wave:
Thanks for your pms hun. I'm fine angel, honestly.:j

rose07 wrote:

well i been a emotional rose of lately,




and gillette ya your right my baby is a dog, the sweetie that she is, had her for 11 years, and have no idea what i would do without her, she is lovely, always there for a hug , thing is i looked up her symptoms on the internet and it said she could have anything from diabetes, to virus, kidney failure or even cancer :eek: so going to the vet tomorrow to see...

That's the best thing hun - let the vet make the diagnosis. Sometimes a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.;) I hope Holly's ok angel.

...even did a painting today for 2 hours and dont remember doing it my head is full of cr*p , how are you doing hun?

i really am thinking alot at the moment,

im going to take myself of the councelling list as i dont thinkncouncelling helps me, i havve been put back at square one now, and my meds are messed up and my life too, things going a bit pear shaped
Angel sometimes we can think too much. It's quite common to forget short term things when you're poorly rose.
Please don't take yourself off the counselling list.
What would that achieve?
You don't want to have to go back to the beginning and start all over again.

Please hun, go back to gp or your clinic and tell them these things. They could adjust everything so that you'll be on the up again. You've recognized that you need help rose, so please follow the instructions your dr gives you and call the clinic hun. They helped you before and will again. Let them do all the thinking!;)
ok better go as havent slept since friday or saturday, god i dunno what day im even on, my mum has half term this week so things very stressful
Come on hun, see the professionals and see what they can offer you.
It's better than struggling rose.;) You've had a couple of awful experiences lately and that's bound to have affected you hun. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Now is the time to get some support angel, especially after all that - you deserve it.;)

tiff, now hun, is your milk full
and do you have plenty of food in ya dish?
YUM!:D

Hope you're feeling better rose. Take care hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi cc!:wave:

CCStar wrote:

I have got this really delicate problem which has bugged me for years.
I don't feel desired by my OH - we have been getting along well but when I am in the mood/feel loving and think he is too, he turns me down 9 times out of 10 and not very nicely. I haven't approached him since he has felt better this week but I am scared to. I go back to how he used to be towards me when I felt this way.
It is making me feel sad, I am scared to get intimate with him. I never had this problem before I was with him, so I swear it is him but it does my head in and has bought me down big time in the past. Why is the man I am married to causing me this anguish and why was it no problem before we got married?
Before anyone accuses me of getting in a laver about it, it has happened several times which has got me to this conditioned state of expecting to be rejected each time I feel close to him.
Do men only want women they aren't attached to?
No hun, I don't think they do. Not that I'm an expert. I can understand how hurt you must feel when he ignores your advances hun - anyone would feel hurt. Have you both had a conversation about it calmly?
Maybe he takes it as criticism - some men (or women) can feel very over sensitive if the subject is brought up.
Believe it or not, the best time to bring up intimate issues like this is when you're both out together, away from the house - for some reason, it can work well to talk while out for a drive. I'm not being funny cc hun, honestly - it's like neutral territory.
I think everyone changes with life experience hun - people don't stay the same, they grow through life I think. You can't go back to then, you have to look forward angel.

CCStar wrote:

I am in a strange mood today. Things are bringing me down. I don't know where this has come from today. I had a good weekend with my OH.
I'm sorry you felt low cc. At least you had a nice time with OH.:T

I feel deep down most men want to see women subservient and humiliated. Why else do so many abuse children and women? Why do women get pregnant when they are so young? Why don't women do so well or progress at work even if they do well at school? Why were all the things wrong with my life due to me being a woman? Why are women put down for being women?
Imho hun, I don't think this is true.:o There's a whole world of whys out there if you look for them cc. It is true for some sadly, but not a blanket statetment for everyone.

I'm not that unnattractive and my illness wasn't nice but why say he cared when he obviously didn't. Why did he treat me so badly and say he cared?
He might be different now, but today, I feel angry about it - how I was treated when I was younger and more vulnerable. I don't know how to shake it off!
You are entitled to feel pain and anger angel - of course you are! Some things we can't see past. Maybe his youth was also part of the problem? I don't know angel but I think that if this is still affecting you, a return to some professional counselling might be worth thinking about. I know you're a counsellor but the phrase 'physician, heal thyself!' comes to mind. When it comes to our own stuff, we can sometimes benefit from a third party's neutrality and insight more.

CCStar wrote:

...Well he started verbally abusing me for something I have an insecurity about due to his bad treatment towards me over the years...

CCStar wrote:

Big hugs to Ethel, you sound to be going thro the mill
It ain't great here either.
He seems to think it's all in my head and not getting the point of where HE goes wrong. I have had years of counselling, had my operation to sort the health issue out, but he does something wrong, I tell him it has upset me, he gets abusive, then wonders why I'm really upset. He loves to play the guilt card, where my saying I don't like his behaviour is making him do things wrong. We have been together 25 years on Thursday and what I see is a marking of 25 years of sh*te. If he can't know me in 25 years, he never will...
The arguments with OH that you mentioned angel, do those past events keep returning into the argument because of your insecurity? That would be possible hun. I'm not siding with anyone cc. Someone can have hurt us really badly in the past cc, and it's so easy to bring up old thorns in new arguments. Maybe that makes OH feel defensive or not knowing what to do? If you've stayed together all this time hun, would you be able to let old sleeping dogs lie for the sake of your future?

You've said what's upsetting you hun; there does still seem to be some kind of links to the past problems. Have you been able to come to terms with everything hun, whatever they may be? I'm not siding with OH or you hun, I'm just trying to think of suggestions.;)

I know you've mentioned about your gynae problems and how badly poorly you were cc, as well as the counselling. Are you seeing anyone right now hun? Are you on any ads or psych. meds hun? You just seem to be doing an awful lot of suffering cc. You sound so full of hurt and anger hun.

I know tablets don't make everything ok angel, but if they can help you cope, wouldn't it be worth reconsidering? If it's been a long time since you've considered it hun, there've been a lot of advances so why not talk to your gp?
You say you've had a lot of counselling sweetheart, but would there be any harm in seeing another one if it was long ago, or if it was a different counsellor?

And why do men who say they love their wives/partners still feel it necessary to look !!!!!! regularly?
Why do women take sh*te from men and still love them. I'm sick of some men treating women like dirt and thinking it is OK - it is not!!

If feel angry at why he looked at the internet !!!!!! too. Rather than try and sort our problem out, he decided to be sleazy.
I can't say hun. People of both genders have different views on pornography. Some like it, some hate it.
I wouldn't think it's necessarily meant to replace a relationship hun and I'm sorry you're so upset.
I don't know what OH was thinking cc, but I can imagine he was embarrassed to be 'caught' and maybe that's why he can't bring himself to discuss it and feels defensive?

The house is being so S-L-O-W to sell, we got another viewer yesterday but how can you tell they aren't BS you. If they come back, then it's more hopeful but not holding my breath.
I am dreading April when the kids are off school, the lighter nights etc. I hate it even more in the spring/summer here.
I wish you luck with the sale angel. Time is still very new yet so don't panic. Buying a house is a huge decision obviously, so people are going to see more than one property - hopefully they'll get back to you then hun. I can imagine how frustrating it must be for you. Hopefully you'll be somewhere else for the summer - I know it aggravates your stress.;)

Hun, I truly hope that you find some peace of mind from all that anger and pain. You may find that via help from your gp or fresh counselling.
If I've come across as patronising in any way, I don't mean to. I'm just trying to show you options hun that's all, and with good intentions meant. Now look after yourself - you've got a big day tomorrow. :T

Sorry for the length of this cc and everyone. Take care everyone.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

learning_to_drive

Job job job I need a job, ASDA and JS are synomous with my hellish months and troubled recent times, the new job is the fresh start completely that I need. I need something to focus upon and work hard at.

Didnt get Natwest, just been given notification of that, not overly surprised, too k em ages to let me know. Maybe im coming across too confident?