Depression

Horasio

My OH and I had a chat about the issue we had and he said he will be more sensitive to my needs. I'l belive that when I see it, whenever something bugs me, he shouts at me.

I still feel undermined by my family - our son is behaving like a spoilt brat and my husband and mother pander to him. Mustn't offend the child, yet I am the only one who has any sense around here regarding money saving and doing the right thing.

I wish this millstone would sell so I am free to get away from the cr@ppy family.

It is killing me

Tiff_2

wilf55 wrote:

hi getting desperate

oh is depressed and stays in the bed room all the time not working due to health problems but im sick and tired of doing everything am trying to understand but am depressed myself so is my 18 yr old daughter think his mood is having a knock on effect on everyone dont know what to do to bring him out of it cant cope with it all anymore
debs

Hi debs!
I'm sorry you're in this position hun - the guys on here are great and will help you all we can debs.;)
I can sense that you are upset and getting desperate hun.
Firstly, I'd just like to reassure you that there is always an answer hun - it just comes in different forms ok? I'm sure OH will get help angel.
Try and stay as calm as you can hun, so that you can break it all down into manageable pieces and then be in a better mind to make decisions debs.

Has something changed suddenly for you to post this hun? Was it something in particular? Do you think OH is worse?

Even though your gp is involved, if your OH is worse, please call the surgery now. Tell the receptionist the problem and that it's urgent, so that you don't just get brushed off. The receptionist should fast-track you through to the duty doctor who can make a house call. That way the dr will be able to assess your OH angel and decide what to do next.

By getting the professionals up to date and involved now, you'll be helping OH, your DD and yourelf hun. It doesn't sound as though he's at all well hun, and you need to get him help from the experts.

I'll go now because you really do need to call his gp angel. Feel free to post anytime debs ok? Let us know how you get on - I'll be thinking of you all hun. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi debs hun!
I just read your last post. Sweetheart, you can't do everything on your own. You sound very low and very anxious, which I can understand. It may be worth seeing the gp as well - there'd be no shame in it hun - stress can bring us to our knees. It'll give you a chance to offload hun to a professional and they can also bring in any other help you might need to cope a little more.
You've got a lot on your mind hun and you need to slow it all down. Which is easier said than done, but you need to stick with the important stuff for now hun. Please also give the Adult Team at social services a call angel - you need as much help as you can get.
Hope this helps hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

IFA

It's ironic that one of the fastest growing diseases (depression, as well as obesity) is so prevalent nowadays where we have so much more in terms of possessions/holidays than we used to.
Just goes to show that materialism in itself is no substitute for happiness. Friends, keeping fit, eating healthily and sensibly, not overdoing alcohol/drugs will all help. Ultimately where food is concerned try superfoods instead of junk foods for higher vitamin intake (the natural way not pills)

MimiJane

Great reply Tiff ... Wilf55, there's no way you should have to put with this, the GP is there to help and I'm sure will involve others in treatment for your OH if necessary. It annoys me that sometimes peoples' sympathy lies totally with the ill/depressed person and they don't look beyond that to those of us who have to put up with it day in, day out.

Please get in touch with your GP, who I am sure will start the ball rolling.

Also, don't forget there is also help out there (in the form of counselling) for people in your situation. I appreciate you're disabled, but, if your doctor can't suggest anything for you, MIND have a great team and I'm sure would willingly spend time on the 'phone to you to discuss your situation. I'm not taking anything away from this forum and the great people who contribute to it, but sometimes it can help to vent on the 'phone.

Take care and let us know how you get on.

Tiff_2

learning_to_drive wrote:

Job job job I need a job, ASDA and JS are synomous with my hellish months and troubled recent times, the new job is the fresh start completely that I need. I need something to focus upon and work hard at.

Didnt get Natwest, just been given notification of that, not overly surprised, too k em ages to let me know. Maybe im coming across too confident?

Hey l-t-d!:wave:
I'm sorry it's taken so long to get to you hun - I've had this bucket of cold water ready for 2 days now!;)
Hun,
s - l - o - w d - o - w - n!

I applaud you l-t-d, for trying to get your debts settled and for all your efforts to land "The Job". This is very mature. :T

Now I feel really sorry that you're in such pain angel and some people really aren't suited to nights, which you're doing atm with Asda. So I can understand you wanting to move on. But Asda run managerial graduate programmes hun - would you consider that? Instead of bouncing off somewhere else, would it be worth asking HR about the possiblity of moving to a day position as one becomes available?
I called you a little firecracker the other day angel and you keep proving me right.;)

Hun, tbh, it doesn't sound as though you know where you want to be or what you want to do. You're applying for this, that and the other and working on a whole range of possible scenarios. This could lead to a bad case of burn out angel. Now you know Tiff will tell you how it is hun and not in a nasty way either - I'd just like to say that maybe you really do need to slow down a bit. It seems that if you're not going full throttle, you get a restless and unhappy and anxious l-t-d. What pushes you to this hun?

What you said yourself could start to happen hun - employers may begin to doubt your reliability if you keep jumping from one pond to the next. It's not fair but most people don't love every part of their job hun, but you get stability as a trade off.

Don't set up your life in one mad rush angel - live it for now. No-one can do everything all at once hun. Take time to breathe and enjoy what you can.
You're going to be fine angel, so as Corporal Jones would say,
"Don't panic! Don't panic! " :rotfl:
Oh I forgot, I'm the only one old enough to remember Dad's Army!:eek:

Have you been taking your ads hun? Are you due for an MOT any time soon with the dr? I hope you're looking after yourself angel. You've certainly been through the mill hun. Well I'm thinking of you l-t-d and I hope you feel better soon. Huge Tiff hugs.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi mimi!:wave:
Thank you angel for your nice comment. You really give great advice. I've been fortunate (?!) to be both in need of help and of having to help. There is a lot of support for carers out there and carers:A need thanks and support too! You've been a real inspiration mimi!:T

If you're disabled, you should also contact your local DIAL, find it here www.dial.org.uk
as they have info on local resources and national ones too.

You might also want to contact
www.disabilitybenefits.co.uk
They also give advice and links and not just on actual benefits but on other helpful areas.
If you just google in carers, you'll be surprised at what comes up - befriending schemes and all sorts! Even holidays for you!:T

For wilf and great carers generally - I posted this a couple of days ago as part of another post - some of it may help you ...

I found some links and suggestions which might help in your area and also generally.
- When you, or anyone, is in a mental health crisis, there is 24 hr, 7 days a week help available in all areas. You can access this help through:

your gp,
the duty gp,
social services,
duty social services,
the police,
your local community mental health team,
nhsdirect
and your A&E.

- You can contact your nearest mental health facility and call them, even out of hours, for help.

-A carer, or a gp, can ask for a referral to the Crisis Resolution Team via the mental health services or the above agencies.

-A crucial service that can be accessed via social services, and hospitals I believe, is CAMHS, which stands for Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services. They can intervene in a crisis & can co-ordinate the person's/DD's care.

Here are some agencies that I hope might be of help to you.
If their web links don't work, I'm hoping their phones will!

-MIND.
-http://www.mind.org.uk/

-www.ParentlinePlus.org.uk - phone free 0800 7836783

-The Family Welfare Association.
www.fwa.org.uk - phone 02072546251, Mon-Fri 9am-5pm.

-The Mental Health Foundation who work with children and young people & their carers.
www.mentalhealth.org - phone 02078 031100

-Young Minds.
www.youngminds.org.uk -
phone 02073 368445, open Mon 10am-1pm, Tues, Wed & Thurs 1pm-4pm and Fri 10am-1pm.

- SANELINE - 08457 678000

-Rethink National Advice Service.
phone 02089 746814, open Mon,Wed & Fri 10am-3pm and Thurs 10am-1pm.

-Young Minds Parent Information Services
phone free 0800 0182138, open Mon 10am-1pm, Tues 1pm-4pm, Wed 1pm-4pm and 6pm-8pm, Thurs 1pm-4pm and Fri 10am-1pm.

The Family Rights Group. Help with advice, advocacy etc. to families on dealing with social services.
-http://www.frg.org.uk
phone free 0800 7317696, open Mon-Fri, 1.30pm-3.30pm.

Carers Support.
phone 08088 087777, open 10am-12pm and 2pm-4pm on Wed. & Thurs.

I'd also say to look through the very front of your phone book angel, for any other agencies listed under the local authority & charities info section.

Hope you're well mimi - take care hun!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Got to go guys - been up since 2.50a.m. and I've lost my sazbone! Hoping you're ok hun - know you're busy.

I'm all tiffed out! :rolleyes:

Well done pumpkin - catch you later angel.

Tiff hugs for everyone. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx
Here sazzy sazzy, ...here saz...

learning_to_drive

I agree tiff, I just want to be sorted and on days, hence my worry and rush to sort everything out. Barclays is next week, so until then I can do nothing, I think its because I get bored pretty easily, with a lot of things, hence at ASDA im bored which is why I get distracted and stuff.

I currently think that I may have an issue because I've been off sick twice at ASDA now in 2 months (not that bad, one day last week with Virus, and now with my back) unsure whether this will impact upon my employability, but they seemed positive when I spoke to them just now so hopefully it should all be ok.

With the full throttle thing, I got myself to such a level at Sainsbury's I knew no different, I worked so very very hard and lived to work essentially, got the balance wrong, now I am just intent on taking it easy, but with the normality of a day job.

Sazbo

Tiff wrote:

Got to go guys - been up since 2.50a.m. and I've lost my sazbone! Hoping you're ok hun - know you're busy.

I'm all tiffed out! :rolleyes:

Tiff hugs for everyone. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx
Here sazzy sazzy, ...here saz...

Tiffy hun :hello: Bless your heart for thinking of me. You haven't lost your sazbone I promise. Can't get rid of me that easily:) Dunno what's up with ole Sazzy at the moment, I'm all at sixes and sevens, y'know? The counselling sessions are really knocking the stuffing out of me. It's weird, it doesn't necessarily affect me during the sessions, but afterwards. Like when I reflect back on it, it hits home, or something. And each week it seems to take longer and longer for me to resume normal Sazzy service again... Sorry:( I am/will be ok though hun, so please don't worry. How's things with you this week?

I have been reading all your posts my lovelies - I apologise for not replying much this week. Soon as I can persuade Tiffy to issue me with some emergency blue smarties I'll be right as rain:):) Catch you all in a day or two.

Love ya Tiff, love you everyone,

Sazzyxxxx