Depression

Sazbo

EthelBloggs wrote:

Ummm....... I'm not saying anymore.. I think i've embarassed meself enuff for one day lol

actually, I have noticed lately that I am generally feeling a bit more cheery and b/f and son have both commented that I'm funny again (I'm a terrible giggler normally and haven't been) and crack them up
people have also said that I look better.. one friend said she was worried I was gonna end up in hospital a few weeks back but she's not worried anymore phew!

maybe its cos I'm finally getting some sleep.. I slept nearly til 11 this morning but things dont seem as bleak now as they did a few weeks back and I'm grateful for that

hows you sazbomber? xxx

That's good news hun. Yes, I'm feeling a bit brighter too recently, touch wood *touches head* and have been sleeping better as well. Makes a huge difference doesn't it hun? Gotta get my (_l_) into gear soon and get on the bus to my folks. Catch you guys later. Have a good day, love Sazbomberxxx

Sazbo

Pumpkin_Pie wrote:

Hi all

Bad Day

Sorry

Pumpkin

Heya pumpkin. Big hugs, hope you're feeling a bit better this afternoon. You can always chat to us. Love Sazbombxx

Sazbo

CarolnMalky wrote:

Hiya...wee quick hello from me...great to see you Tiff...I was worried about you poppet...you take care and plenty of rest :kisses3:

Hiya cc :wave: hope you are ok.

Hiya sazzy...get the kettle on...Ive got some home baking here

Hiya LTD(whispering) - take it easy today, plenty of fluids and rest

Hiya Ethel...Im too young and innocent to hear about your urges :eek: :rotfl:

To all other readers Hiya!!

I think Im coming back down with the cold...so kettle is on keepwarm for a lemsip fest!!

Fairy dust and hugs to all :Hello:

ok hun kettle's on - mmm looking forward to the homebaking! :j Anyone for homemade tagliatelle?! Mine came out quite good yesterday - amazingly enough!

Carol you keep warm and get over that cold soon. Big hugs, Sazxxx

Horasio

I know why I feel so good just now

I have the courage to be me. Not caring what people think is so good.

I don't mean being nasty to people but liking what I like and not caring if no-one else does share my taste.

I know where the fear comes from and I don't want to be near people who can bring me down with their negativity.

How do I keep this feeling in the face of people who can be negative?

MimiJane

Negativity attracts negativity I think. Surround yourself with those who don't think this way ... hopefully it won't be too difficult. And don't think you're being selfish by "not caring what others think" (as long as you don't take it to extremes) ... it can be a good thing to know your own mind and rid yourself of insecurities. A positive you will in turn attract positive traits in others.

UKTigerlily

Tiff wrote:

sam!
You're among friends here sam - no sorry needed - glad you posted.;)
I'm sorry you're at a low point right now angel, but for those of us looking in at your situation, there are some positives here.

You seem to have come to terms with your illness. This is great because you have identified your 'patterns' and you know the early signs and when to get help.:T

I think you've done really well to be able to hold down a job, especially after all you've been through sam. I have deep admiration for anyone here who works inspite of their ill health.:T

Your NHS psychotherapy is just a couple of short weeks away hun. Why not wait until you've had a couple of sessions with them first before you spend money going privately?
It might not be a good idea to have different therapies at the same time until you've checked it with your NHS therapist first. Some therapies take different approaches you see.
Also hun, you may be surprised at where this therapy might take you - it could give you the chance to make use of some of the other mental health services the NHS offers. This could mean you're moved further up the list if your need is greater.

I'm sure you must be anxious and frustrated hun, that your psychiatrist is leaving. Quite understandable.:o I'm sure that because he knows your case, he'll be able to place you in good hands. Your new psychiatrist should be versed in your case before you meet for the first time.

Have you told your current psychiatrist about how you feel hun? I think this would be a really good idea angel - he won't be offended. Plus he should know that you may be feeling a bit lost or vulnerable, so that he can put some safeguards in place for this. He'll be able to reassure you and advise you too on how changing drs works.

Whether it's NHS or private angel, unfortunately staff do move on, but their replacements have to reach certain standards.
If you're not happy with the psychiatrist you are seeing, you can actually ask to be considered for a move to another one. I did and it was the best decision I made!;)

It's a shame sam but hey, maybe the new dr could end up being as good or better than the one you have?!
Also, because he's new, the top drs will be monitoring his work - well, that happens anyway, so there are safeguards in place.
Anyway hun - hope this was of some use. :rolleyes: Good luck angel and keep us posted.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Thanks I'm possibly going to be with the Consultant who will be there until he retires or another permanent person. The SHO's move on every 4 months now from there & so it won't be one of those, guess i'll find out. I'm feeling abit better today though the eating disorder is giving me a beating, the other problems are ok ! Thanks so much for the reply it helped!

Karrie

I guess I am asking for advise really. I have suffered from depression on and off since I was a teenager. I only acknowledged it when PND set in 10 years ago. It affected my relationship of 12 years and we split. To this day I can't forgive the way I treated him. However, he's moved on and we get on just fine now.

Four years ago I met a fantastic man. He loves me to bits but he hates my bouts of depression. I am soooo awful to him. Pick on him for no reason at all. And he puts up with it because he knows it's not the real me. Yesterday I left his house and I sat and cried asking myself "why do I do it?" I am a very independent person and hate relying on other people but that just makes me very lonely. As soon as I begin to rely on someone, the barriers come up. My partner is wonderful with my son. We talked about moving in together but I keep putting it off because I would be just horrible to live with. How do I make myself a better person?? I have had counselling when I had PND so I know all this crappy depression stems from my childhood. My parents were never loving and spent most of their time fighting (physical). My Dads parents hated me and made me well aware of that (that's another long and petty story). My Dad died when I was 16 which at the time, came as a huge relief (sounds awful I know but that's another guilt trip for me) as there was no more fighting. My mum was very young when she had me, too young. She once criticised my appearance and to this day it has affected my confidence to the fact that I hate meeting people. Why can't I move on? Why can't I be nice to the people that I love and people that love me. No-one knows that I suffer from it. How could they? I hide it so well. But I am horrid to the guy that loves me and he tries very hard to understand. We have been invited to his works do in a couple of weeks and I am dreading it. I feel people will think I am not good enough for him. I feel that they judge me on my appearance and feel really uncomfortable. It's so ridiculous.

I am not a confident person and am very sensitive too. But when people meet me they think I am aloof. It's only when they get to know me (and I've been told this) that they realise I am a big softie.

What do I do? Ask for more counselling? I take tablets when I know I am bad but they are very low dose now. Do I ask for more? Does depression every go away?

I know this post sounds as if I feel sorry for myself, I really don't. I understand the reason for my depression. I just need to understand what to do to make me a better person and enjoy my life.

any advise would be truly welcome - thanks guys

Horasio

Karrie wrote:

I guess I am asking for advise really. I have suffered from depression on and off since I was a teenager. I only acknowledged it when PND set in 10 years ago. It affected my relationship of 12 years and we split. To this day I can't forgive the way I treated him. However, he's moved on and we get on just fine now.

Four years ago I met a fantastic man. He loves me to bits but he hates my bouts of depression. I am soooo awful to him. Pick on him for no reason at all. And he puts up with it because he knows it's not the real me. Yesterday I left his house and I sat and cried asking myself "why do I do it?" I am a very independent person and hate relying on other people but that just makes me very lonely. As soon as I begin to rely on someone, the barriers come up. My partner is wonderful with my son. We talked about moving in together but I keep putting it off because I would be just horrible to live with. How do I make myself a better person?? I have had counselling when I had PND so I know all this crappy depression stems from my childhood. My parents were never loving and spent most of their time fighting (physical). My Dads parents hated me and made me well aware of that (that's another long and petty story). My Dad died when I was 16 which at the time, came as a huge relief (sounds awful I know but that's another guilt trip for me) as there was no more fighting. My mum was very young when she had me, too young. She once criticised my appearance and to this day it has affected my confidence to the fact that I hate meeting people. Why can't I move on? Why can't I be nice to the people that I love and people that love me. No-one knows that I suffer from it. How could they? I hide it so well. But I am horrid to the guy that loves me and he tries very hard to understand. We have been invited to his works do in a couple of weeks and I am dreading it. I feel people will think I am not good enough for him. I feel that they judge me on my appearance and feel really uncomfortable. It's so ridiculous.

I am not a confident person and am very sensitive too. But when people meet me they think I am aloof. It's only when they get to know me (and I've been told this) that they realise I am a big softie.

What do I do? Ask for more counselling? I take tablets when I know I am bad but they are very low dose now. Do I ask for more? Does depression every go away?

I know this post sounds as if I feel sorry for myself, I really don't. I understand the reason for my depression. I just need to understand what to do to make me a better person and enjoy my life.

any advise would be truly welcome - thanks guys

Hi and welcome:)

We cannot give medical advice or tell you what to do but can offer a listening ear and a sharing of life experiences. I find it helps to know you are not alone in your suffering.

I am sorry to hear about your problems and I wonder if they are hormone related? As you have bouts of depression and had PND.

I had terrible PMS and mild PND, which mimicked manic depression. It changed my personality completely. My OH has been with me for nearly 26 years and it can be very rocky at times.

Your childhood won't help as it will colour your opinion of relationships.

I too can seem aloof but am the most genuine caring person around. It is understandable you are putting barriers up.

I would go back to your GP and tell them how you feel and see what they suggest.

Karrie

Sorry, I know that you can't give medical advice. I didn't choose the correct wording. I have read many of the posts on here and it heartens me to read all the warm, caring, useful replies from you guys.

I guess I am looking for encouragement and support in dealing with my problem.

Sazbo

CCStar wrote:

I know why I feel so good just now

I have the courage to be me. Not caring what people think is so good.

I don't mean being nasty to people but liking what I like and not caring if no-one else does share my taste.

I know where the fear comes from and I don't want to be near people who can bring me down with their negativity.

How do I keep this feeling in the face of people who can be negative?

CC hun, wanted to reply to you earlier, sorry, but site was playing up and I need to dash out. But I just wanted to say that staying true to ourselves is the key. All too often easier said than done, I'll fully admit, but if we hold to our core beliefs then what other people think will tend to impact on us less. To use your own words, "you have the courage to be you" - hold to that. Love, Sazxx