Depression

Sazbo

nippy26 wrote:

Thanks very much Saz - this has really come like a bolt out of the blue..as I said he's said little the past couple of weeks, then this. We've been married 2 years - been together 12. No indication of problems in the past except for when he was a kid - holding his temper was an issue! But I've seen nothing of that over the past 12 years!

I'd certainly do whatever it takes to get him back to 'normal' but can't help even wondering if he really wants 'us' to be us if that makes sense.

He left the house at 8 this morning...I've had two texts today and an upsetting phone call - I know it's wrong to 'chase him', so I'm letting him do what he needs - he's with the relative, so I at least know he's safe! I'm trully knackered so will go to bed in the next hour but of course won't be able to sleep. Think I'll open a bottle of wine.

It could be any number of things triggering it nippy hun, which was why I wondered whether there might be other issues involved with him, making him feel this way. As you say, it least you know he is safe - it may be that he needs a bit of a 'breathing space'. See what the doctor has to say next week, hopefully that will give you a way forward. Hope you do manage to sleep some, maybe a relaxing bubble bath might help you unwind. Much love, Sazxx

Horasio

Had a much better day today.

Felt really irritated first thing, woke up too early but improved.

The viewers seemed nice but nothing was given away.

Went out for a drive, didn't see any areas we liked but not in a position to buy so not too worried.

Tried to eat out in two restaurants, they were freeeezing. Are they too tight to put the heating on?

The third one was good:)

Watched videos with OH and had a laugh, it was good to connect:)

Was very tired last night - had a busy day today.

CarolnMalky

Hiya CC...glad you had a bit better day today!

rose07

anyone around to chat?

Tiff just wanna say Well done huni, very proud of you and im glad your fighting through things. the op musta been tought hun and hurt like anything, very proud of you and i have some news for you hun, it will sweep ya off ya feet , will pm ya next week hun

Now just take ot EASIIII - rosie rules

xxxxxxxxx love to everyone, ethel, ccstar, sazzie, blinky, elona, geminilady, pumkin, ltd, mc, feelie, rs a, betty, carolyn malky, queensway boy, everyone!!! xxxxxxxxxxxx

UKTigerlily

I haven't read the whole thread as it's pretty long! I can't remember if I made a post on the last thread, but i'm 28 & have long term mental health problems. I'm currently signed off of work for two weeks & seem to have a few good months where I can work & then a month or so of not being able to work, the longest i've been off was 6-7 months in one go in 2004 when I had what i'd call a nervous breakdown, though i'm aware they don't use that term.

I'm currently looking into getting Psychotherapy privately as the NHS waiting lists are huge, although I have been accepted for some form of Psychotherapy (Either CBT or Interpersonal Psychotherapy) which is due to start in March @ an eating disorders service.

I'm on medication & take it 2x a day, see a Psychiatrist who is leaving at the end of March (I was put with him cause he was supposed to be permanent!) & he's currently looking for someone else to see me. I feel like i'm just passed off to others every so often!

Anyways,sorry to go on, just want to say I understand how you all feel & what you go through, i'm having a bad time right now & waiting for it to pass.

If anyone needs to chat on MSN/Yahoo or E-Mail pls just PM me here

tc Sam x

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
How is everyone? Don't all shout at once! :eek: :rotfl:

Well guys, I'm vertical - always a good sign!
I'm feeling a lot better than I was - nearly back to my old self (:eek: )...


Many thanks to all for my love & hugs!:A It means a lot especially when you've all got your own problems.
I've got a lot of pages to catch up on!:eek: Best get on with it - don't want miro to think that sazzy's the only one on smartie-watch!:D :rolleyes:
Have a great Sunday guys - Tiffy hugs for all!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

nippy!
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time hun but I think it's really positive that you're sharing and looking for various help options. :T
It's so hard on loved ones angel but try and stay calm if you can, so that you can keep the lines of communication open with him.

Remember that he's obviously not his usual self. People in the depths of a depression, or any kind of mental ill health problem, all react in different ways but it's not unusual for them to lash out with cruel words. He's probably very low and scared and he probably doesn't know himself what will make him feel better.

Although it's so hard on you hun, he's made a choice right now on where he thinks he needs to be during his crisis. Although you want him back with you angel, this is good because he's not just run off or followed up his suicide threat. You know where he is and that he's safe. The family home is his bolt-hole as it were, a place where he feels able to cope at the moment. Don't take it personally nippy - I know it's very hard not to.
Try and keep the lines of communication open with his family if you can - ask them for updates on how he is. Do they know about his suicidal thoughts? If they're looking after him, I'd think it's important that you give them as much info as possible.

It's also positive that he's planning on seeing his dr this week - this shows that he knows there's a problem and he's seeking professional help. The gp will be able to make a diagnosis and point him in the right direction for help. If you, or his family, think that he may be close to suicide, you should contact your gp, or A&E, or your local mental health Crisis Team immediately.

Angel, be reassured that at some point, he will have to talk to you. From my own experience, depression can be exhausting. It has different effects on different people but tiredness is very common - it might not make any difference if he had a week off work, if he's very depressed.

I think the only thing you can do now is to let him know that you love him and that you're there if he wants to talk, whenever he's ready, with no pressure. It might be a good idea to do this in a loving letter, because when I hit that low spot, my memory is the first thing to go.;) That way, he'll have something he can hold in his hands and keep going back to. Tell him you haven't given up on him - make it full of gentle positives.

This is so very hard on you angel - you've got to be strong when it feels like your whole world is falling apart, and you can't understand why. It may be a good idea to go and see your own gp hun - tell them everything - and see what help is open to you. Have you got family supporting you angel?

You may also want to contact CAB - they can advise on a whole range of things, especially the practicalities. They also have a good referral system.
MIND and a lot of other mental ill health charities are available online, although if I were you, I'd wait till he's been assessed by the gp before you go that route. There's a lot of very specific information online, and it might not be any use to him or you, if he hasn't got the kind of problem you've looked up. Also, you could phone Relate and get relationship advice there - they will see one person if the other person won't/can't go. Again, it may be too early for that - see how you feel hun. Just make sure you look after yourself too - that's very important angel.;)

I'm genuinely sorry I can't make it go away for you hun. The guys here have already given you excellent advice. Sadly, it's a wait and see situation angel. Please don't be afraid to ask for advice for yourself nippy - get all the help you can. If it helps, remember that this is probably his illness talking and that with help, he could be back to his old self.
Sorry for rabbiting on hun - hope it was some help - post here any time nippy, there's always a shoulder for everyone on this thread. Take care hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

sam!
You're among friends here sam - no sorry needed - glad you posted.;)
I'm sorry you're at a low point right now angel, but for those of us looking in at your situation, there are some positives here.

You seem to have come to terms with your illness. This is great because you have identified your 'patterns' and you know the early signs and when to get help.:T

I think you've done really well to be able to hold down a job, especially after all you've been through sam. I have deep admiration for anyone here who works inspite of their ill health.:T

Your NHS psychotherapy is just a couple of short weeks away hun. Why not wait until you've had a couple of sessions with them first before you spend money going privately?
It might not be a good idea to have different therapies at the same time until you've checked it with your NHS therapist first. Some therapies take different approaches you see.
Also hun, you may be surprised at where this therapy might take you - it could give you the chance to make use of some of the other mental health services the NHS offers. This could mean you're moved further up the list if your need is greater.

I'm sure you must be anxious and frustrated hun, that your psychiatrist is leaving. Quite understandable.:o I'm sure that because he knows your case, he'll be able to place you in good hands. Your new psychiatrist should be versed in your case before you meet for the first time.

Have you told your current psychiatrist about how you feel hun? I think this would be a really good idea angel - he won't be offended. Plus he should know that you may be feeling a bit lost or vulnerable, so that he can put some safeguards in place for this. He'll be able to reassure you and advise you too on how changing drs works.

Whether it's NHS or private angel, unfortunately staff do move on, but their replacements have to reach certain standards.
If you're not happy with the psychiatrist you are seeing, you can actually ask to be considered for a move to another one. I did and it was the best decision I made!;)

It's a shame sam but hey, maybe the new dr could end up being as good or better than the one you have?!
Also, because he's new, the top drs will be monitoring his work - well, that happens anyway, so there are safeguards in place.
Anyway hun - hope this was of some use. :rolleyes: Good luck angel and keep us posted.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi ethel hun!:hello:

EthelBloggs wrote:

oi... gilly n blinky.. you aint the only ones with a loved up weekend planned
heheheehe

STOP BRAGGING!!!:D
Just jealous hun.:rolleyes:
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Sazbo wrote:

Good idea there beer - me and tiff'll do the preliminary weeding-out interviews:D Form an orderly queue!:D

Sx

Ooooh-errrrr missus!
Aren't you being a sassy sazzy?!;)
Let's go one better after we've fixed miro up saz - thanks beer!:T - we could set up our own dating agency for the thread!:j
Of course we'd have to be very particular and very devoted to the vetting process!;) Right - who's first?! :j :j :j

Sorry guys - too many blue smarties!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx