Depression

Tiff_2

Hi gilly hun!:wave:

gillette147 wrote:

Groan - Hi folks,
I'm not in too bad a mood but that's coz i'm in de Nile.
I'm about to go there for 6 months.:rolleyes:

Last nite had a big row with g/f.
I just can't ever get my point across to women. Venus/mars thing I guess.
I'd offer to translate hun but I'm not even in the same solar system!:rolleyes:

She told me something about her past which isn't that bad IMO. But the way I had to trip over it to find out is what worries me. My last relationship was full of lies - my ex was too afraid to lose me, so would never confess to anything. But that means I never really know if I know everything and you then lose respect for them and it's a slippery slope from there.
I'm sorry you and g/f had a spat hun. Don't put yourself down hun - you're very eloquent. I admire you for being able to deal with her secret gilly. If you 'tripped over it' angel, maybe that shows that it was really hard for her to say it - that she was afraid of rejection. That's a powerful emotion. Equally, you have the same right to feel flustered hun, especially after your last relationship. Gilly hun, if you allow yourself to think that way, you'll go mad chasing your own tail. You're right, once trust and respect have gone, there's not much left angel. Hopefully, this may kind of bring you both to an understanding of each others position angel and hopefully improve communications.;)

Last night was horrible as I tried not to fall into all my learned behaviour from the time with my ex. Trying to explain and not hurt her. But just ending up having a worse and worse row.
You're a wise badger - I've said it before hun. That's very sensitive of you gilly and very clever.:T I guess that's the whole point in moving on - we all have lessons to learn from the past. And probably the first one is to leave the past in the past hun. It's easy to feel over-sensitive when you've told someone a past secret or a past partner has hurt you. Then sometimes, anything can then trigger a reaction because you've invested your heart and emotions in the relationship. Once things have cooled off hun, you'll both feel more comfortable talking I hope. Am I making any sense at all?!:rolleyes: Not meaning to preach hun. Very tired Tiff now.;)

I tried to explain last night that I am strong enough to take anything apart from not being told stuff. But the lesson she just seems to have learnt from last night is it is better NOT to have told me - the total opposite of what I was saying!! I don't want to prolong the row but I feel if I don't correct this, I will end up having the same problems I had with my ex. It all felt so horribly familiar last night.
Awww, gilly hun.

Also
I was woken up by the phone (at 11am!!!) by doctors. Apparently they sent an appointment with counsellor for today but I never got it. I now have one for 12 o'clock 21st Feb. It hasn't sunk in yet but TBH I don't want to go. I am scared. Scared I am just being a drama queen. This appointment has been hanging over me all year. I'm sort of getting on with stuff now. I just want to be left alone. I've coped all these years and........ I don't know. I'm not sobbing in Sainsbury's or anything.
There's been changes for you too gilly. PLEASE go to your counselling angel. It's really common to feel like this in the run up to your first session hun. You can forget why you needed it in the first place or that you don't think that you can handle it. Give it a try gilly - you've got nothing to lose and if you don't go and you hit a rough patch, you'll regret it and it could be a long time before you'd get another chance. You were referred for it for a reason hun. You are NOT being a drama queen. I know how hard it is to face the past angel but you'll be guided through your problems at your own pace. Please, please, please go hun.

I STILL haven't done any revision. I woke up determined to start today. But I had washing up etc to do. I've done it but it's started my headache off and now I'm wiped out. I've only really got tomorrow then I'm with g/f all weekend. Course starts up on monday. And I think the weekend will be intense with g/f as we now have our first row to sort out/smooth over.
Groan
- Right hun - that's for the revision.;)
You're sounding stressed angel and thinking of everything at once. I was determined to do a whole agenda of things but when you feel poorly hun, it's pointless. Please go back to the dr if this headaches continue - don't let it just carry on. I know you've had some answers, but press them for some better ones. Don't forget too hun, that stress and anxiety can give you a hell of a headache regularly, even migraines.
I hope the weekend goes well and that it ends up being a case of enjoying the making-up process gilly.;) :T Just do what you can hun.:o
Good luck with the course for Monday angel - well done you for motivating yourself to do it! Proud of our badger!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx
xx

stenny_2

Hello all,

Hope your all warm and snuggled up.
Been busy busy busy again so will post soon as,
Big huggzzzzzz everyone.

XX:A

Miroslav

geminilady wrote:

Hi Miro,Nice to see you posting again.I agree with Blinky a clean break is the best way of getting over it.You did really well not contacting her in the past month but i can see your need to let your anger out and reply to her text.The thing is you will never be over S until you let go of the anger,love and hate are interlinked.I said the same thing to N he has been posting nasty statements on a blog about his x gf,so of course she retaleated and so it goes on,sometimes when we care about someone any contact is better than none.It takes a great deal of strength to completly break contact.I may be wrong but think s will contact you again over you returning her xmas presents,not sure why you did it,has she returned yours? As to you not finding anyone else,never say never we do not know what is round the next corner and you are still young with all your life in front of you.Of course you need time to grieve for what could have been but it will get easier.Great to know your charity job is going well it is always good to have a new interest.

I had to reply. She text flatmate - a very cautious text, flatmate asked me what to do, I saw red and replied telling her she messed up and she treated me like crap and this time she wasn't the 'victim'

I haven't returned the presents, I just want too, kind of chucking them back at her and getting them out of my way at the same time. Thing is, I don't want to hurt, I still care.

I don't think I will find anyone. Too much baggage, not exactly Brad Pitt, no money, no nothing, and I feel old. Only 30, but feel 70 and feel like time is running out.

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

:think:

Crackers and cauliflower, Mr Miro? Hmm, interesting combo! :think:

Sx

Well, you know, beggars can't be choosers

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

I agree with Blinky and Gemini, hun. I totally understand why you say that, but really it's the hurt talking, y'know? Give yourself a chance. As gemini says - we never know what's round the corner in life.

I'm not too bad, bless your heart for asking. had to go out and buy more cheese tho! :rotfl:

Much love,
Sazzyxxx

Maybe it's the hurt, but i've been like it all my life since my partner passed away - no confidence.

More cheese? I'll try not to burn it next time

Miroslav

EthelBloggs wrote:

Miro.. make sure you pamper yourself a bit and remind yourself of how special you are - if you were a girl I'd reccommend a new hairdo and a manicure an all that

Well..........i'm not sure how to pamper myself Maybe an extra banana today

How's the diet?

Miroslav

gillette147 wrote:

Groan - Hi folks,

I'm not in too bad a mood but that's coz i'm in de Nile.

Last nite had a big row with g/f.
I just can't ever get my point across to women. Venus/mars thing I guess. She told me something about her past which isn't that bad IMO. But the way I had to trip over it to find out is what worries me. My last relationship was full of lies - my ex was too afraid to lose me, so would never confess to anything. But that means I never really know if I know everything and you then lose respect for them and it's a slippery slope from there.

Last night was horrible as I tried not to fall into all my learned behaviour from the time with my ex. Trying to explain and not hurt her. But just ending up having a worse and worse row.

I tried to explain last night that I am strong enough to take anything apart from not being told stuff. But the lesson she just seems to have learnt from last night is it is better NOT to have told me - the total opposite of what I was saying!! I don't want to prolong the row but I feel if I don't correct this, I will end up having the same problems I had with my ex. It all felt so horribly familiar last night.

Also
I was woken up by the phone (at 11am!!!) by doctors. Apparently they sent an appointment with counsellor for today but I never got it. I now have one for 12 o'clock 21st Feb. It hasn't sunk in yet but TBH I don't want to go. I am scared. Scared I am just being a drama queen. This appointment has been hanging over me all year. I'm sort of getting on with stuff now. I just want to be left alone. I've coped all these years and........ I don't know. I'm not sobbing in Sainsbury's or anything.

I STILL haven't done any revision. I woke up determined to start today. But I had washing up etc to do. I've done it but it's started my headache off and now I'm wiped out. I've only really got tomorrow then I'm with g/f all weekend. Course starts up on monday. And I think the weekend will be intense with g/f as we now have our first row to sort out/smooth over.

Groan

xx

Sorry to hear of the relationship problem. I can empathise with the last relationship full if lies and agree about never knowing if you have it all, or whether the person is holding back.

Miroslav

Tiff wrote:

Hi miro hun!:wave:
How are you sweetheart?
Blinky, saz, gem and the gang have given you golden advice angel, although you're probably feeling too tender and raw to feel its true value right now. I don't think I have anything different to say really hun. But you know Tiff - gotta put her in.;)


I know sweetheart, that you've had a truly awful time. The love you had for your family is clear and brave. It should never be stained with the problems of others - although you grieve still, it's a grief of love.
Somehow, I hope you can find it in your heart to be brave enough to try and love again hun because we've only got a finite amount of time here, and it doesn't have to be full of pain.

It's easy to feel this all-or-nothing emptiness when our hearts are broken hun but it's temporary. Every one of us runs the same risks every time we get into a relationship angel, but we have to no matter how scarey it is, because it's part of being human. And so is the joy we get when it works!

Your warm heart and compassion for others is a gift angel.:T It's so hard to give, when you feel that life is a cruel joke and that you're always on the end of the punchline. But miro hun, when you start loving for yourself, and not because someone you see needs it, that's when it'll be different.

Confession time miro hun - I do feel a bit of a hypocrite in some ways with what I've written. Me and loneliness are best friends.;) I want to love so much and I'm hurting too. I'd love to have love in my life angel, but it seems an impossibility. Hah - who would want a worn out ol' Tiff?!:rolleyes:
But I still want love miro, even though I haven't got it and don't even see a glimpse of it on the horizon.
And that's the real problem angel - having so much love to give, when you can't love yourself and you have lost hope.
Believe me hun, I cry for you and I cry with you.
Anyway, this isn't about me!:D You're as important as anyone else hun - and before you say it, no, I don't follow my own advice!:rolleyes:

I - and the others - can see your pain and your situation from the outside perspective, so that's the difference hun. So really, I'm not being a hypocrite.;) I'd never preach on the subject miro. Please don't shut out your future hun. You're young angel, in good health, stronger than you think and with a wonderful spirit miro. Explore all there is within you and around you angel, and at least you'll have lived life the best way you can. And isn't that what we all want?
You'll get there hun - really you will. I hope happiness finds you soon angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

I had to reply to 'S' to express my anger. I felt I deserved to do it for me. I don't like confrontation, even though it's others who are more fearful of me, i'm a big softy

I've not shed a tear for a couple of weeks now, although feel very sad. Her texting flatmate rocked me a little.

As for finding love again.......not a chance. It's how I feel right now. My heart is too broken right now. It feels worse as it was someone who did want to be with me, but couldn;t and wouldn't let themselves be happy.

We all want love, and I guess i'm like 'S' - I fear it, because people always leave anyway. I understand she was scared and why she felt she had to do what she did, I really do, because I may do the same one day. Get rid of them, before they get rid of me - 'S' did that to me, so I wouldn't hurt her. Nothing I can say to her will make her believe that I'm not like that though.

I honestly believe i'll never be happy. I really have nothing the modern day lady would want. I guess i've met very few ladies who want love and companionship as opposed to all the material things.

Miroslav

The thanks button isn't working tonight :rolleyes:

Anyway, sorry can't reply to anymore. Have a very sore mouth and am very irritable right now. I'm not sure I had this in mind when I wanted a distraction though

Dosed up on painkillers.

Hope everyone is okay

Tiff_2

learning_to_drive wrote:

Ill post it I think Carol Makes it all easier, I do miss her, but the road to recovery is a rocky one, I've missed a couple of days of tablets due to me being on nights and not gettin a prescription, got them now though.

Trying nto to sound mad, but its a relief to get a tablet, im calm now, not a relief, but i dont like missing them. I missed loads last time (stopped taking them) and went off the rails.

Hi l-t-d!:wave:
A timely reminder for us all I think hun. Check your medication supplies regularly guys. If you're given a medication to take it's very important not to miss ANY doses.;) It will hamper their effect and it can be dangerous. Treat your meds with respect. Not meaning to preach guys - it's just that it's so easy to forget.
If you miss any more l-t-d, I'll get the wet fish out again!
Have a good day hun.
much Love,
Tiff xxx