Depression

blinky

Miroslav wrote:

It seems like this will never end

I am coping, just really sad that someone who wanted to be with me, couldn't. I could handle being told nasty things.....

Glad to hear 'R' is going well

Surprised to hear that you text 'S'. I know it sounds harsh but you need a clean break from her and to move on. By contacting her it's only prolonging the hurt...

It will end.

For years I thought I had no chance of finding someone. I believed I was sitting on the shelf under a mountain of dust. Now I have met 'R' who I genuinely believe is the love of my life and she feels the same way about me too :j .

If I can find someone I can sure you can find that special someone too.

Miroslav

blinky wrote:

Surprised to hear that you text 'S'. I know it sounds harsh but you need a clean break from her and to move on. By contacting her it's only prolonging the hurt...

It will end.

For years I thought I had no chance of finding someone. I believed I was sitting on the shelf under a mountain of dust. Now I have met 'R' who I genuinely believe is the love of my life and she feels the same way about me too :j .

If I can find someone I can sure you can find that special someone too.

I agree I need a clean break, but she contacted flatmate who asked me what I thought, so it wound me up again.

I need all these small steps to stand a chance of moving on, and by telling her exactly what I think, followed by dumping the few things of hers outside her door, including what she gave me for Xmas, it will help. Right now anger is a big issue for me with her, and I hope I never see her again, but everytime I see a female, I see her and I see anger

I'm not going to find someone. I think it's life telling me, that earlier in life I have met my special person, and she passed away, and i've had my chance, so it's time to be on my own.

I guess that's the way it's got to be.

geminilady

Miroslav wrote:

I agree I need a clean break, but she contacted flatmate who asked me what I thought, so it wound me up again.

I need all these small steps to stand a chance of moving on, and by telling her exactly what I think, followed by dumping the few things of hers outside her door, including what she gave me for Xmas, it will help. Right now anger is a big issue for me with her, and I hope I never see her again, but everytime I see a female, I see her and I see anger

I'm not going to find someone. I think it's life telling me, that earlier in life I have met my special person, and she passed away, and i've had my chance, so it's time to be on my own.

I guess that's the way it's got to be.

Hi Miro,Nice to see you posting again.I agree with Blinky a clean break is the best way of getting over it.You did really well not contacting her in the past month but i can see your need to let your anger out and reply to her text.The thing is you will never be over S until you let go of the anger,love and hate are interlinked.I said the same thing to N he has been posting nasty statements on a blog about his x gf,so of course she retaleated and so it goes on,sometimes when we care about someone any contact is better than none.It takes a great deal of strength to completly break contact.I may be wrong but think s will contact you again over you returning her xmas presents,not sure why you did it,has she returned yours? As to you not finding anyone else,never say never we do not know what is round the next corner and you are still young with all your life in front of you.Of course you need time to grieve for what could have been but it will get easier.Great to know your charity job is going well it is always good to have a new interest.

geminilady

CCStar wrote:

It's my son's 19th birthday today

Going out tonight and concentrating on having happy thoughts to enjoy today:)

Hope you have a great night tonight cstar.

Sazbo

:think:

Miroslav wrote:

Did you not see the crackers and cauliflower I left for you to make a meal?

Crackers and cauliflower, Mr Miro? Hmm, interesting combo! :think:

Sx

geminilady

Sazbo wrote:

Morning peeps :hello: Sorry I wasn't around yesterday... counselling an' all that:rolleyes:

Hope ya all doing good.

Love Sazzyxxx

Hi Saz,Glad you survived the counselling ,do you think it is helping?.I have thought of asking for it myself but not sure what exactly happens.Do they ask lots of questions?Would be grateful if you could give me a general idea of what happens.Got to go to work now but will catch up later.Hope you have a good day.x

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

I don't think so. Being alone is better than being hurt. My faith has been lost.

I'm torn, part of me wants too, the other part is too scared.

Bit like 'S', I really want to get my own back, but part of me doesn't want too to do it. I wouldn't do anything major, but something to let her know she can't do what she did to people. I was fed up with her lies anyway, and flatmate isn't interested right now, describing her as 'dangerous' because she makes things up so much, including things like rape etc and that I am better off out of there.

49p, was good. Think my new manager thinks i'm mad..........but it's okay, they are all weird people

Hope you are well, minus the burnt cheese on toast

I agree with Blinky and Gemini, hun. I totally understand why you say that, but really it's the hurt talking, y'know? Give yourself a chance. As gemini says - we never know what's round the corner in life.

I'm not too bad, bless your heart for asking. had to go out and buy more cheese tho! :rotfl:

Much love,
Sazzyxxx

Sazbo

geminilady wrote:

Hi Saz,Glad you survived the counselling ,do you think it is helping?.I have thought of asking for it myself but not sure what exactly happens.Do they ask lots of questions?Would be grateful if you could give me a general idea of what happens.Got to go to work now but will catch up later.Hope you have a good day.x

Hi gemini :hello: Yes I survived, just about LOL! I've only been going about a month, so it's still very early days, but yes, I do think it's helping. Don't mind at all sharing my experience. This is only as I understand it, and happy to stand corrected by other folk on here, but there is a variety of different 'styles' of counselling. I'm having standard long-term counselling/therapy. The general idea seems to be that you are working on issues at subconscious level, which sometimes may have been buried there a long time, formed by experiences in our past. We may not be aware of things buried in the subconscious, but nevertheless (so the theory goes), they can exert a strong influence on us as we go about our everyday life, sometimes hampering us which can manifest itelf in poor mental health, for example depression. Is this making any sense whatsoever?!:) With the form of counselling I'm having, the counsellor tries not direct your train of thoughts too much, so sometimes there's questions, sometimes just gently prompting.

My verdict thus far is that it can be quite a challenging experience, but I do honestly feel that the hard work is beginning to pay off, although for me there is still a long way to go. At least I'm on the right road now, having put-off the decision to have counselling for many, many years. Too long, really. But thanks to Tiff and the good people on this thread, I found the courage to pick up the phone and make an appointment. Thank guys! :T

My experience is just one of many and other posters will have a different take on it. But I would say it probably makes a difference finding a counsellor that suits you. This is not me advocating or recommending counselling to anyone, only the doctor can do that:) but I hope this long, rambling post in some way answered your question gemini hun!:D Anything else just give me a shout.

Have a good day at work gem and take care.

Catch ya later :wave:

Much love,
Sazxxx

learning_to_drive

Hi guys, hope we are all well!

Just off back to bed, awoke at 1 an couldnt get back to sleep so off to sleep now, if I get up Ill prolly go in earlier, but depends if i can be bothered!!!!

CarolnMalky

Evening...hope everyone is muddling through!

I am sooooooo tired today, this cough is waking me up 4 times a night, and its driving me nuts(mind you I was pretty nuts before it started!!) So I had a wee siesta today, and am still tired! So a nice easy evening for me I think.

Does the naggine feeling of being hopeless ever go away? or do we just learn to cope/ignore it better with time?

Hugs to all
C xx