Worried about baby staying in dangerous house

nuttywoman

Don`t let her go , my son is on drugs and he comes up to our house to see his daughter,11months old , with us present ,we have her most weekends, because he`s not allowed to see her at his house with his `friends`.
He leads a very chaotic lifestyle and its not fair on the baby .

JodyBPM

Surely the sensible solution is for ex to look after your DD at your house whilst you are away? If everything is amicable, I don't see why this would be a problem?

If things are really as bad as you suggest at your inlaws, then perhaps you should call SS, for the sake of your nephew and niece?

gratefulforhelp_2

clearingout wrote: »

you need legal advice. your daughter has a right to a relationship with her father and at some level, you are responsible for making that happen if she is with you the majority of the time. I agree that the house he is living in seems unsuitable so I would take legal advice before making a call to social services as you need to play this one very carefully - the courts are on the side of both parents having a decent relationship with their children, a family life, overnight stays. If you let your daughter stay there just once, you are essentially saying it's OK so you can't do that for now. And frankly, I would worry about the implications of having known all this about the family but never having reported them before - you now look like a vindictive ex rather than someone who is concerned about the welfare of the children. Yes, you can make an anonymous report but....well, it's pretty common for reports of this nature to be made when relationships breakdown.

If you refuse overnight contact and put the issue in the hands of the court, CAFCASS would at least make a home visit and then make some recommendations for the judge involved. This might be your best bet - as they would also speak with Social Services if they consider what they find to be unacceptable. In that sense, it would be out of your hands. The real issue for you is what are you going to do if Social Services and CAFCASS consider this home appropriate?

There are more questions than answers there! I wouldn't do anything at all until you have spoken with a solicitor.

Agree with this except the bit in bold, unless we change making to allowing.

JodyBPM wrote: »

Surely the sensible solution is for ex to look after your DD at your house whilst you are away? If everything is amicable, I don't see why this would be a problem?

If things are really as bad as you suggest at your inlaws, then perhaps you should call SS, for the sake of your nephew and niece?

This is not a long term solution, the OP is entitled to move on and have some privacy as is her ex.

clearingout

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Agree with this except the bit in bold, unless we change making to allowing.



This is not a long term solution, the OP is entitled to move on and have some privacy as is her ex.

Yes, of course, allowing would be a better turn of phrase in this context!

The other thing I wanted to say is that I have a good friend who had a child who refused to walk until some months past his 2nd birthday - drove them insane with it. Nothing wrong with him at all - had more assessments than you can shake a stick at - he obviously preferred crawling and being carried about! I can assure you that he hadn't been near drugs, cigarettes or alcohol as a result of mum's behaviour whilst pregnant and other than the odd glass of wine, nothing since birth. I am not sure that you can therefore link that particular behaviour to drug taking (although I'm not medically qualified in any way, shape or form whatsoever!) and I would be very careful about making that kind of assumption in front of professionals of any type.

Owain_Moneysaver

*Louise* wrote: »

You say he comes over to your home to see his DD every week - would you trust him to be in your house to look after her while you were at work? (ie. how amicable are things?)

And do you trust ex not to let his brother into the house and his brother to help himself to the silverware to fund the habit?

Darlyd

OP said Ex will have the child for when she is working away, and when HE IS WORKING the brother/sister will look after child. So even if OP let ex stay at her's when she is away, what will happen to child when ex is working?

NickyBat

it's your child, go with your gut instinct.

whitewing

I'd keep your nanny on. At least she is a dedicated and reliable carer. There is actually no need for your ex to have the baby when you are away unless it covers his normal access times.

Shepherd1

Sorry but why haven't you reported this to social services, you witnessed terrible things happening to your niece and nephew and did nothing about it.

clearingout

Shepherd1 wrote: »

Sorry but why haven't you reported this to social services, you witnessed terrible things happening to your niece and nephew and did nothing about it.

Exactly. In which case, either the OP doesn't give two hoots about the other children or the situation is greatly exaggerated here so the OP gets the response that she wants - don't send the child.

Legal advice is the only way forward now. If the situation is that bad (I am not suggesting it is or it isn't) then it is essential things are done above board and in the right order or the matter will not be sorted satisfactorily for any of the children concerned.