Neighbour Problems!!

Errata

Anyway the odd ball has gone over in a period of 11 months and she wont give them back. We just keep replacing them

If it's only the 'odd' ball in almost a year - just keep replacing them by deducting the cost from your son's pocket money. That will sharpen his football skills.
Don't worry about your neighbours gardens, they - like you - choose to do with them what they choose to do with them and it's no business of yours. It's also no concern of yours how much, or how little, time your neighbours spend in their garden.; or why; or when.
You've apparently taken legal advice and been advised the non-return of the ball(s) is theft. You can report the theft(s) to the police. I suggest you pick a time when they're not too busy.

spandles

Your neighbour is commiting theft. I would mark all your footballs so they can be identified as yours. This would prove beyond reasonable doubt they are your property and she can't claim they are someone elses. This sounds drastic but you may need to stay one step ahead and might need this 'evidence' in the future.

Continue to keep a log of when your son is in the garden, including the date, time, weather etc. Also keep a log of any complaints she makes, any letters she sends etc. If you need to speak to her try to take a third party with you.

Hopefully this will sort itself out and you can forget all about it, on the other hand these could be useful if you have the Police at your door or a solicitors letter.

On a lighter note, I would rather my children were playing out than sitting at the computer all day. Your neighbour is just going to have to put up with the occasional inconvenience. She can't dictate her neighbours, just like the rest of us. Incidentally, do you have any problems with the neighbours on the other side?

SuzieSue

Woody39 wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice. I must mention that there is a 3ft retaining wall with 1ft kickboard and a 6 ft fence Total 10ft between the properties (houses built on a sloping downward hill). Even though it is our boundry she put the fence up (before we moved in) so a trellis is not an option. Our garden is approx 100 ft x 60 ft and my son has a 12ft goal right in the middle along with other football training equipment. He is a serious player and plays for a local team. The balls that do go over are normally kicked over by adults who can resisit "having go". We do tell adults that balls are never returned and they will have to ask for it back! With regards to the net, yes it will be an eyesore but how do we erect it. She already asked us to remove the old one as it was also damaging her trees and interefering with the birds/bats. Her garden is no show piece and her dog tramples in her borders. I have already seeked legal advice and she has no right to keep the balls. In fact she is stealing them! My son doesnt kick the ball against the fence as he has a "football rebounder" and a football on a bit of elastic. Like I said he is a keen and talented player for a 7 year old. We are considerate people and just want to let our children play in the garden which is a safe environment. Our other neighbours are elderly and dont have any issues. They just threw it back when they see it in the garden, so we dont disturb them. I really cant win! Like I said my son is at school all day and in bed at 7.00. He doesn't play football everyday or for long periods of time in the garden. So in reality he has little time in the garden (weather pending) and she has all day.

I'm just really glad I don't live next to you. If you consider yourself to be considerate, I'd hate to know what you consider to be inconsiderate.

Your children have a right to play in their garden as long as it doesn't affect anyone else. Even if it is adults kicking the ball over, it is still your responsibility as you allow these people in to your garden.

When will people like you start taking responsibility for your actions instead of blaming everyone else?

folkestonelisa

I have just moved house to get away from 3 boys, constantantly kicking thier balls against my fence, which they total trashed, and the back wall that adjoined.

They played in the garden from the moment they came home from school till about 8 apart from half an hour for dinner and did this most days, rain or shine. School holidays were a nightmare.

After putting up with this for over 6 months, asking the mum to stop them kicking the balls at the fence as it was going to cost us over £300 to have extra strong fencing put up as they used the fence as a goal post, we had had enough.

We are in social housing so luckily managed to get an exchange, and we informed the swop people of why we were moving, but they could see from the ball shaped dents in the fence what the problem was.
So i can really see where your neighbour is coming from.

Until you are in the situation you have no idea what its like to have a ball constantly being kicked at your wall and it then descends to an all out war with your neighbour.

10 years we had lived in that house, her for only 9 months as her and hubby had split up and they had had a 6 bedroomed big detached house and then had to move to a tiny 3 bed with a small garden.
Love where i live now, luckily. And there are no kids next door that like footballs:rotfl:

pararct

Its all about reasonableness. Its reasonable for a 7 year old to be able to kick a ball about in their garden. On the other hand it is reasonable for the next door neighbour not to have their plants damaged by low flying footballs...

Erect the net/trellis whatever on YOUR side of the property. If her trees/plants are growing across then prune them back as you are entitled too. Unless a conversation order exists regarding bats other wild animals then ignore it and erect what you want anyway. Their welfare albeit a consideration is not really your concern and the neighbour is forcing you to take this action.

I suspect the neighbour just doesn't want the child out in the garden full stop, some can become quite cantankerous in their old age. Put the barrier up and ignore any further rants from her.

oldMcDonald

Woody39 wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice. I must mention that there is a 3ft retaining wall with 1ft kickboard and a 6 ft fence Total 10ft between the properties (houses built on a sloping downward hill). Even though it is our boundry she put the fence up (before we moved in) so a trellis is not an option. Our garden is approx 100 ft x 60 ft and my son has a 12ft goal right in the middle along with other football training equipment. He is a serious player and plays for a local team. The balls that do go over are normally kicked over by adults who can resisit "having go". We do tell adults that balls are never returned and they will have to ask for it back! With regards to the net, yes it will be an eyesore but how do we erect it. She already asked us to remove the old one as it was also damaging her trees and interefering with the birds/bats. Her garden is no show piece and her dog tramples in her borders. I have already seeked legal advice and she has no right to keep the balls. In fact she is stealing them! My son doesnt kick the ball against the fence as he has a "football rebounder" and a football on a bit of elastic. Like I said he is a keen and talented player for a 7 year old. We are considerate people and just want to let our children play in the garden which is a safe environment. Our other neighbours are elderly and dont have any issues. They just threw it back when they see it in the garden, so we dont disturb them. I really cant win! Like I said my son is at school all day and in bed at 7.00. He doesn't play football everyday or for long periods of time in the garden. So in reality he has little time in the garden (weather pending) and she has all day.

People keep replying that it is just a kid playing, yet OP says it isn't the kid kicking the ball over - it is the adults whacking a ball over a 10ft fence.

I would get peed off by that after a while if I lived next door.

ali-t

OP, if you think you have problems now wait until you buy your son a trampoline. These are like the devils tool and I hated when the kids that were next door to me had their up. I had no privacy at all as these horrors and their friends were constantly looking into my garden and annoying the life out of me.

I understand where your neighbour is coming from as everyone should have the right to enjoy their property in peace but like others have said give and take is required from both parties. If her dogs are annoying you, ask her to keep them in when your family are at home as they are disturbing your peace. Most people think they are reasonable, but in practice that number dwindles significantly!

moneysaver

Woody39 wrote: »

He is a serious player and plays for a local team. The balls that do go over are normally kicked over by adults who can resisit "having go".

This does not sound like a couple of times in 11mts.

If your son is a "serious player" it might be more than a couple of times in 11mths. Ask him to kick it against your house wall for a few weeks & see how you like it.


Moneysaver

moneysaver

Woody39 wrote: »

Help! I pointed out to her that my son was at school between 8.30 - 3.30 and he was in bed at 7.00. It left him little time to play in the garden considering the english weather and he doesn't always play football.

So he does not play football at the weekend?

poppysarah

Get him a swingball. That's a really annoying noise too.


You should explain to your son that he needs to learn ball skills so he doesn't annoy the neighbours.

Does he play on his own? You could of course invite lots of noisy friends to play in the garden too. Something that will make the football seem like the good option?