Not inviting children to wedding. help!

POPPYOSCAR

cgk1 wrote: »

What a load of crap - I've been to quite a few childless weddings and each has been a great laugh.

If the OP doesn't want children at her wedding then she should stick to her guns.

I think the OP has every intention of doing that, as is her right.

kt33uk

As somebody who didn't get married til later in life, I had children at my wedding, ceremony and reception. I had no choice, if I had said no children, then my own children wouldn't have been able to attend as their normal baby sitter would be busy (namely me ).

The thing I remember about my ceremony is that my 11 month old grandson was screaming during it. Did I care? no I didn't. Did it stop me getting married? No it didn't. The worst I thought that was i was more than sure that his poor dad would have been in a panic trying to quieten him down :rotfl:

The thing is it is your choice to not want children at your wedding but as others have said prepare for some people to say they can't attend.

trying_2_b_good

I am inviting children, but will say that if they start crying during the ceremony, please can parents take them out. I'd like to think they'd do this without asking anyway.

Then I can't wait to see them running around and dancing at the reception!! I think kids make a wedding!

But if you're set on not inviting them, I agree with whoever said not to lie about the reasons. You have to be honest.

Dekazer

We certainly all differ on whether to invite children. Personally, we will be, because we see our friends' children as our friends too - it wouldn't be the same without them all.

However, given that the OP has decided not to invite children, I would recommend being very clear and very sensitive with your invites. We often see threads here where people have been invited to a wedding but the invite wording is unclear, and they feel embarrassed about asking. Some of the wording people have suggested here looks brilliant.

As others have said, be prepared for people to decline your invitation because of this. For this reason, I would recommend talking to them on the phone before sending the invite - it gives you a chance to let them know, kindly, that the kids aren't welcome. I bet the reactions will be split between those parents who are glad of a night out alone and those who feel disappointed that their children can't come.

MrsDrink

I'm just wondering where the OP asked for our opinions on whether she should have a child free wedding? As far as I can see she only asked for how to go about ensuring it is child free. This is becoming as bad as the debates on chair covers/photographers!!

I would say when you write the invites put the adults names down only - Janet & John are invited blah blah blah.... but back this up with a verbal instruction/chat about it being a child free zone. I would agree with the comment about not making an excuse up just incase it comes round to bite you in the bum.

POPPYOSCAR

MrsDrink wrote: »

I'm just wondering where the OP asked for our opinions on whether she should have a child free wedding? As far as I can see she only asked for how to go about ensuring it is child free. This is becoming as bad as the debates on chair covers/photographers!!

I would say when you write the invites put the adults names down only - Janet & John are invited blah blah blah.... but back this up with a verbal instruction/chat about it being a child free zone. I would agree with the comment about not making an excuse up just incase it comes round to bite you in the bum.

I think the debate might have started because the Op said in her opening post that her friend was offended by this, and then later said she could not understand why people would be offended.

Most of the advice does seem to be along the lines of just make it clear to everyone so there are no misunderstandings and least upset.

Beetle_lover

vax2002 wrote: »

Get ready for an empty boring room.
Children make the wedding, in there party best, chasing around, provide endless opportunities for the photographers.
To be honest, you sound like a right pair of stick in the mud fuddles, most will stay away, it will be like an accountants dinner.

That isn't a fair comment. You know nothing about me or my wedding! Just because I'm not having kids that's means Im not having a fun wedding??

Maybe they make a wedding if you have them in your family but I don't! I dont even know any children it's all babies so there will be no running around going on.

THANKS TO EVERYONE GETTING TO THE POINT OF HOW TO DO IT INSTEAD OF LEAVING NASTY UNFAIR OPINIONS!

Kittendreich

I had a restricted number of children at the wedding (only children of siblings or the wedding party) - to invite all children would mean an extra 30-odd kids (two big families) and not being able to have it in the venue we wanted (or even the style of venue we wanted). We put a note in christmas cards (for April wedding) to those we would be inviting to say looking forward to seeing you on x date and hope this gives you enough time to arrange a babysitter. There was then a note on the information sheet (that went with the invite) clarifying that we were sorry we couldn't invite all children but the venue was too small. We also spoke to everyone to reinforce this (i.e. "who's looking after the kids while you are at the wedding...?"). Only one cousin asked if they could bring their kids, but I apologised and said if I made an excpetion for her I'd have to rearrange the wedding to allow all the cousins to bring their kids and that was just too many extra people - they didn't come, but I wanted to be fair to everyone. On the day we did have an extra couple of babies there in the evening as they were still being breastfed and couldn't be left with anyone - both mum's had said they were gutted, but would have to decline - but we wanted them there and said it was fine - didn't even notice them on the day!

It depend on your reasons - we just didn't have the money or space to have all of the kids (both have big families) - so we could say so with a clear conscious. If you just don't want any kids there for whatever reason just be up front about it - it will mean some people won't be able to come and some others will choose not to - but that is the compromise you have chosen.

Minimoo24

found this on google

A note regarding children…

…we want to make you aware as early as possible that, due to numbers, and the maximum capacity of the room, we will not be able to invite children who are not part of the bridal party to the daytime part of the wedding. We both thank you for your understanding.

All children are more than welcome to attend in the evening.


http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110206122253AAhcWLH

I hope it works out for you.

POPPYOSCAR

Beetle_lover wrote: »

That isn't a fair comment. You know nothing about me or my wedding! Just because I'm not having kids that's means Im not having a fun wedding??

Maybe they make a wedding if you have them in your family but I don't! I dont even know any children it's all babies so there will be no running around going on.

THANKS TO EVERYONE GETTING TO THE POINT OF HOW TO DO IT INSTEAD OF LEAVING NASTY UNFAIR OPINIONS!

Beetle lover, do not take it to heart - this is the nature of the beast on MSE - it takes all sorts!!

Just laugh like I did - its easier.