Not inviting children to wedding. help!

Beetle_lover

hi everyone,

thought i would post this as I'm pretty sure that lots of people would of been through the same thing.

me and OH don't want any kids at the wedding, I've been to too many that have been ruined by a screaming baby and people have had to miss the ceremony.

told one of my friends that has a 2 year old, i thought she would be fine with it but she seemed a bit offended and i got the whole 'my child is so well behaved' speech.

this is my day and i want people to respect my wishes but how do i go about telling them?? anyone ever written something in invitation or just tried to tell people in person?


thanks

roses

Don't give them the option, just tell them on the invite.

ennui

Stick to your guns - if you make an exception for a few, the others take it all the more personally. Good luck. It's always an emotive issue, but it's your day after all.

codemonkey

Your wedding, your rules.

I tried sooo hard to not hurt anyone's feelings and still caused WW3 amongst my family. Now I wish that, instead of all that agonising, I'd just invited who I wanted anyway, as we'd have had the same result anyway.

You're going to upset someone no matter what you do, so just make it clear from the start that kids aren't invited.

Some people might not come but that's their problem, not yours.

Beetle_lover

I'm def sticking to my guns but just don't know how to approach the subject, I feel like not putting the baby's name in the invitation might not be obvious enough to some people lol

POPPYOSCAR

Beetle_lover wrote: »

I'm def sticking to my guns but just don't know how to approach the subject, I feel like not putting the baby's name in the invitation might not be obvious enough to some people lol

No, you will have to spell it out clearly that no children are invited and as someone else said do not make any exceptions as some people will be very annoyed by that.

You will also have to appreciate that some may decline the invite because of this and be understanding of this as well.

Torry_Quine

It's your wedding so your decision but you have to accept that some people may not be happy and may even stay away because of this. Just leaving out the names of any children isn't enough as I would see an invitation to Mr & Mrs X to automatically include children unless it specifically said no children.

Solstice_Twilight

Can you add a line that says "we respectfully request that children are not in attendance at the ceremony but will be included at the reception" (assuming you're happy with them at the reception - just drop it if not) but it may mollify a few parents if they can come with their kids to your reception party rather than missing the whole thing.

We're planning to do the same. I'm Pagan, so OH and I will be going to the registry office first with only our parents, then having our handfasting and a picnic in the afternoon and a small reception in the evening, so I've asked that kids aren't to come to the handfasting, but I'm planning to make a little goody bag for kids in the evening - it's not costly to pop in a fairy cake or something, a little activity or toy for them and to tie a balloon to it, but obviously this will depend on how many kids you're expecting.

hp3

Hi Beetle-lover,

I'm in exactly the same boat as you! Glad I don't feel so alone now. My story is very similar, one of my friends (who wasn't even pregnant at this point) got very upset and offended that we had made a decision not to have children. Others have understood and respected it. If people do get offended it's their problem, it's yours and your partners day, if they arn't happy then tell them not to come! (I did) Anyway, we have tried to tell people with children face to face so they have time to make arrangements and decide if they want to come without their child or not, as we understand it's a big thing for people. For members of the family far away that we don't see often we are just putting the names of the people invited on the invite, not the children's name. I find that wording it in an invite quite difficult and think it may offend people further.
Good luck!

Torry_Quine

hp3 wrote: »

For members of the family far away that we don't see often we are just putting the names of the people invited on the invite, not the children's name. I find that wording it in an invite quite difficult and think it may offend people further.
Good luck!

This may not be enough though as it could be considered as a family invitation ie including children

fawny

Hi,

Totally understand where you are coming from with wanting no children. How about somethings like this.

‘Parents please note: It is our wish to have an adult-only celebration. We hope that this advance notice means that you are still able to share our big day.’

‘We hope you understand that we have chosen to make our special day adults only.’

‘To allow all guests to relax and enjoy themselves, we have chosen for our wedding day to be adults only.’

‘We want to make you aware as early as possible that due to numbers and maximum capacity of the venue, we will not be able to invite children to the wedding or reception. We thank you for your understanding on this matter.’

‘We hope no offence is taken but due to budget restrictions, we are unable to invite your children.’

‘We would like to make it clear that due to costs and the wishes of the bride and groom, children are not invited to the wedding ceremony or reception. We thank you for your understanding.’