Do any of you have or had a daughter like this?

miss_corerupted

I to was/am quite cold when growing up. I never wanted kisses or cwtchs of anyone, I still don't like a handshake is about as far as I go, people air kissing and stuff like that is a no-no. I find it very uncomfortable and tbh weird. With my son however (he's 2) I love it!!!. It took me a few months to get used to it. I aslo find it very hard to sympathise with other people.

However this is just me. The way i am.

I haven't kissed, cwtched or told my Mam I love her for years, But she knows I do. I go out of my way to help with things like the computer etc. She has my sister for the emotional stuff.
I never played with girls and was very tomboyish. I think I am perfectly normal. Just different to my mam


Excuse me I need to go and wash after all this 'sharing' I have done. I feel quite uncomfortable.

rainbow81

OP, I applaud you for your honesty regarding your feelings towards your daughter. My son has mild ASD so affection can be a bit hit and miss, tempers, etc, wants his dad and not me and doesn't mind telling me so...etc, etc. And it's not that he's spiteful, I truly don't think he has in it in him to be, but rather that his dad lets him get away with more. We're not together now so however he decides to discipline is less my problem these days, but the inconsistencies did wind me up. I think he's realised now that it causes him a headache in the long run now (at last!) and he should just do what he says he should do the first time.

Anyway, can you try and get some time with your daughter that will end positively, whatever it is she likes doing. Personally, I have to forgo the cuddles and instead watch my son play golf on the Wii. Not too exciting but he enjoys showing me what he can do and so a little of cycle of positivity is created, instead of crying from him and nagging from me (and quite often the other way round!).

It is difficult in the limbo of not having a proper diagnosis, and maybe your daughter won't get anything written in stone if her troubles are mild - however the letter from speech therapy does actually tell you a lot - while I was waiting for my son's diagnosis I read up on autism and started behaving in the ways that would help him. You don't have to wait for a doctor to tell you what your daughter has, and you won't hurt her by implementing some strategies (like using more visual cues, for example).

The issues with your OH are another matter, I'm glad he has agreed that he needs to be more than "fun and games". There was a similar situation on House of Tiny Tearaways that I watched yesterday, a little girl literally would go nowhere near her mum, her dad even had to take her to the toilet. She was 3 I think and socially "normal" for her age. She would say she loved everyone in her family apart from her mum. It did take the parents to cooperate to change things but they did it.

I hope things work out ok for you, it seems there are a couple of issues that seem to have got all mixed together in your head. I would take many things Freud came up with with a pinch of salt, personally. It's not like you can send a 6 year old to psychotherapy anyway (no doubt I will be corrected on this, lol).

Take care.

Rejected_Mum

Thank you both for the last couple of posts. It's been interesting getting an insight into other females like this as adults aswell as of course parents of children with/without ASD etc. I had to look up the meaning of cwctch though..learnt a bit of Welsh this morning. : )
Will also see if I can watch that House of Tiny tearaways episode on the internet at some point soon- thanks for mentioning that.

Well my head is whirling with lots of good advice/support and I can't thank you all enough. I certainly don't feel so alone now and more positive. Evertyime I'm feeling down I'll definitley come back to this thread.