sob. MIL being really insensitive UPDATED

workinginoz

That is so upsetting.
You are not being remotely childish at all and your MIL is well well out of line. If you were in the US, you'd considering suing her for the venue change fee.

Your fiance needs to stand up for you, his future wife and stand by your decisions. This woman clearly has some real emotional problems - if you don't stand up now, she will make your life very difficult.
If there is anything you can do to change the date, I would. Maybe he needs to tell her that as she has done this, she needs to pay the loss of your deposit and other fees associated with moving it.
It's so evil I'd almost suggest you guys do a combi elope/honeymoon and arrive back the day of her wedding to use her reception as your party - saving you a fortune and stealing her thunder, mwah ha ha ha. That'd show her.

neilcrook

Can you speak to your MIL about the rest day and school holiday problem? She might have literally not thought about it and she might be able to change her date? In the meantime look at other rest days - don't worry about school holidays so much as the kids could come to the evening or make it a weekend. Remember Jan - April is cheaper dates and would put quite a bit of space between the weddings.

Good luck xxx

dancecrazylegs

I think the idea of an april wedding would be great,at the start of april its easter so the kids are off school for 2 weeks, also much cheaper to go on a honeymoon in april rather than the main summer season, we got maried in april its a lovey time of year with spring flowers etc

mummyroysof3

sounds like it would be a nightmare to change then, what about explaining all this to oh and telling him that you either change it or keep it as is and have honeymoon and miss his mums wedding, he has to make a choice here doesnt he?

Anacrusis

I'm not surprised you're annoyed - I wonder if your MIL is annoyed with you for booking your wedding when she said last year that she was putting her wedding back so that there weren't two family weddings close together? She might want an August wedding but not want to wait another year.

stationaryace

Anacrusis wrote: »

I'm not surprised you're annoyed - I wonder if your MIL is annoyed with you for booking your wedding when she said last year that she was putting her wedding back so that there weren't two family weddings close together? She might want an August wedding but not want to wait another year.

yeah but a week is just too close... and then to go for the same venue...

unless you live on a remote island there really is no excuse. unfortunately it is going to have to be your OH who speaks to his mother - I assume that you and her aren't close given this whole situation. Doesn't mean you two can't be a united front but otherwise it could just look like bride wars.

niknaks

I also wanted to chime in to say you are not being childish. This is quite shocking behaviour by anyone's standards.

My concern would be that she knows exactly what she is doing, and is doing it deliberately to hurt you. I honestly don't think there are two ways about it. I think you should show your fiance the replies to your post as it's his job to step up to the plate and tell her she is out of line.

I hope you get it sorted out. I think otherwise you will always look back at your wedding and feel that it was tainted - and that would be terrible. xx

23rdspiral

Wow. How awful of her. I second everyone's shock and horror. She has issues.

BUT... Your wedding will be first. That's really key. You will create your own memories there, all mutual guests will walk in to hers but remember yours. Ok, so she might throw more money on decorations ect, but that doesn't mean they'll be better... In fact they can Only Be SECOND BEST.

I pity her for not being able to have an original idea.

Oh, and at her day have a few pics of your day in your bag, just to show anyone who couldn't come to yours, in a nice way of course!

Good luck

Owain_Moneysaver

Enjoy your wedding.

Send a faked-up video recording of yourselves on honeymoon to be played at hers.

Somewhere really expensive (you can get the background video off youtube) and if anyone asks then just say "my hubby teased me by saying we were going to Necker Island so that's what we used for the video, actually we went to Skegness"

ruthybabs

Wow! You're really not being childish at all, although it sounds like someone else is! You have every right to be furious and your h2b needs to have a serious word with her. Your wedding is 1st and will be the one people remember as everything you have will be original whereas hers will seem like the poor imitation. It doesn't matter how much money she throws at it, it won't buy class.

Maybe she could move her date or if she's really set on it and you can't move yours then she can't really expect you to attend. Book your honeymoon and have a lovely time. If you are going to attend though, you will have your day to talk about and show pictures of so can sweetly steal a lot of her thunder anyway. As to a choice of who comes to which day, your friends and family will make it and h2bs family will probably choose his over what I presume is her 2nd wedding.