The "have a look at this!" thread II

olias

£1105 per month!!!!!!!!!!
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Olias

Upsidedown_Bear

The inside is not what I was expecting at all.

http://www.foxtons.co.uk/search?location_ids=392&property_id=829483&search_form=map&search_type=SS&sold=1&submit_type=search

phoebe1989seb

Thanks everyone for your kind messages.......and Dave, I quite agree - all three parents are/were shadows of their former selves which does make it a little easier to accept the inevitable. DH and his siblings read their dad's will today and found a lovely little hand-written note to them all with detailed instructions regarding who should get which of his treasured possessions and how he wanted his funeral arranged etc, written before the Vascular Dementia took hold - it brought a tear to everyone's eye, even DH's elder (tough!) biker brother

Know exactly what you mean about the visiting many depressing places in the search for the *right* one though. We also came across a wonderful place that would have been ideal for my parents a couple of years ago, but back then my dad was in denial about mum's Alzheimer's and now he too, unfortunately has VD

Davesnave wrote: »

Sorry to hear your news, phoebe. If the dementia was well-advanced, you may feel that the person you knew slipped away some time ago. I know I felt like that.

I have to disagree slightly with others in that I did find the most amazing care home where Dad would have flourished, had I acted soon enough. I'm not sure how many others of comparable quality there might be though, especially on a tight budget. It took me many, many depressing visits to others before I found it.

Urns. We ended up with two, as planned. They were emptied in a rather nice place at sunset on January 1st 2006. I'm afraid we didn't ask the titled owner's permission!

Callie22

If you left the equipment in place, this house has the potential to save you and your family literally mouthfuls of money over the years ...

lessonlearned

Owain_Moneysaver wrote: »

I woudln't call the blue bog and maroon basin in the cloakroom a 'suite', More like a mismatch.

although the stone cladding fireplaces are a bit too far, that's actually the sort of house I'd like. I think I'd prefer it if the carpets went though - easier to tell if the floorboards smell of pee.

Another pathetic attempt at witty repartee.

Lavatory jokes are the level of 12 year old school boys.......

Adults are supposed to have grown out of such childish crassness.

John_Pierpoint

Davesnave wrote: »

Sorry to hear your news, phoebe. If the dementia was well-advanced, you may feel that the person you knew slipped away some time ago. I know I felt like that.

I have to disagree slightly with others in that I did find the most amazing care home where Dad would have flourished, had I acted soon enough. I'm not sure how many others of comparable quality there might be though, especially on a tight budget. It took me many, many depressing visits to others before I found it.

Urns. We ended up with two, as planned. They were emptied in a rather nice place at sunset on January 1st 2006. I'm afraid we didn't ask the titled owner's permission!

It is nearly 9 years ago that my mother died, and 13 since she was rendered unable to care for herself, by a stroke.

Within a week or two we were getting the "is she self funding" treatment and being given the glossy magazine in which lots of local care homes advertised.

With son, daughter (single) and daughter in law all working and not living "locally" (90 minutes & 4 hours away), we found ourselves a bit short on choices.

The care home option, just inside the M25, works out amazingly expensive, especially as it was just the time that the government was introducing a host of new construction rules - they almost put this amazingly prescient place out of action:

http://www.whiteleyvillage.org.uk/history_section.php

[ The story of the founder of the concept would probably make a more "colourful" TV series than that of Selfridge, who absorbed his business in the 1920s, when his will was finally sorted out; some considerable time after he had been shot dead, supposedly by one of his "illegitimate" children]

Anyway we resolved to keep mum at home with a full time carer (The market place was then in "The Lady" magazine); though minimum wage & other legislation makes it a requirement to use an agency and it follows that carers have to be "rotated" to preserve their self employment status ("Cabin fever" sets in anyway if they don't "rotate".)

"The system" does not support care in the client's home, because it does not feel "safe"; ie there is a risk that someone might be called to account for a nasty headline about the breakdown of the arrangements.
It is certainly not a way of freeing yourself from the "burden" of caring for your relative. My wife and I found ourselves in a cycle of attending every fortnight for the 4 years as a routine to check the accounts, do a major shop, cutting the grass, fix all the annoying little DIY tasks and of course try to fit in something of a family celebration. A typically 7/11 Sunday. You can still find yourself "on call" 24/7.
The NHS offered helpful advice "Families think they can do this - it never works..........." and the equivalent of the district nurse called in to sort out any catheter problems. A delivery service dropped off incontinence pads.
The local authority "did an assessment" - supplied grab handles and a "day centre" collection service 9:30 - 17:00 two days per week. At the day centre a lunch, bathing, hair and foot care was available - at a price. (The care centre refused to issue receipts and the manager got somewhat excited about the few occasions that mum found herself playing the roll of latch key kid - but the concept was good though I fear that local authority cut backs will be putting it at risk).

At the funeral, a lot of people who knew my mother came out of the woodwork, trying to express their condolences. I must confess my thought was "Where were you when we lost 2/3 rds of our mother to a stroke 4 years ago."

I believe the average length of stay in a care home is only 2 years, though that is not a lot of help to someone facing the open ended commitment, especially when the medical condition is mental disability, rather than a physical one.

[I see the government is proposing to let taxation-by-inflation be used to raise the InHeritance Tax take and spend the revenue capping medical care cost - we will see]

John_Pierpoint

Contessa wrote: »

I agree with you about picking up impressions from a house, rightly or wrongly. A house would have to have the right "atmosphere" for me to feel comfortable in it.

It is only bricks and mortar.

Buying a probate property probably means a good price, a seller who just wants it sold, no chain problem and a chance to make your it your own.

No point in paying a premium for one that has been "flipped" for you.

It is amazing how even a few simple changes to the garden can make somewhere feel different. I suppose a garden requires the investment of time and care and then grows up as "your" garden.

However I know what you mean "25 Cromwell Street" was probably best demolished.

moneyistooshorttomention

Owain - I think you are pushing the bounds a bit. There are a horrifyingly large number of people having to live with permanent illness:eek: and its a struggle for them at the best of times, so I think it would be best to not make "jokey" comments involving illness. There are literally millions of people that that won't go down well with.

I think the figures were something like about 6 million people being carers and, from that, I would imagine that means there are about 6 million plus people with severe illness. One heck of a lot of people then...:eek:

moneyistooshorttomention

John_Pierpoint wrote: »

It is only bricks and mortar.

Buying a probate property probably means a good price, a seller who just wants it sold, no chain problem and a chance to make your it your own.

No point in paying a premium for one that has been "flipped" for you.

It is amazing how even a few simple changes to the garden can make somewhere feel different. I suppose a garden requires the investment of time and care and then grows up as "your" garden.

However I know what you mean "25 Cromwell Street" was probably best demolished.

I wouldnt be against buying a probate house per se. There's probate houses and probate houses. Most of them just look a bit tired and old and I wouldnt have a problem dealing with that. Get out the "some shade or other of white" paint/whack in new bathroom and kitchen and chuck out any patterned or coloured carpets and sorted...

But theres' probate houses and probate houses - and that one just felt "not quite right" to me and, at a practical level, would take even more work than most of them. I confess to being offput from buying a house by any evidence of someone having been severely ill there - even though I know...I know it ain't catching. I tend to get a little "worried" even by those rails to catch hold of that can be seen by some baths - and I know that's not logical..just me being a little superstitious and I would have them out pronto to make it quite plain I wasn't going to need them ever myself...(change locks and whip out any "illness paraphernalia" would be done within the first week). Personally, I get a little "worried" even by those half-height shower set-ups and I think it would put me off, because I would doubt that could be removed and the bathroom "set right" within days.

gallygirl

John_Pierpoint wrote: »

It is only bricks and mortar.

I agree to a point. Imagine the years of terror and pain trapped in the walls of that dentist property. Give me a good old-fashioned probate sale any day .

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

I wouldnt be against buying a probate house per se. There's probate houses and probate houses. Most of them just look a bit tired and old and I wouldnt have a problem dealing with that. Get out the "some shade or other of white" paint/whack in new bathroom and kitchen and chuck out any patterned or coloured carpets and sorted...

But theres' probate houses and probate houses - and that one just felt "not quite right" to me and, at a practical level, would take even more work than most of them. I confess to being offput from buying a house by any evidence of someone having been severely ill there - even though I know...I know it ain't catching. I tend to get a little "worried" even by those rails to catch hold of that can be seen by some baths - and I know that's not logical..just me being a little superstitious and I would have them out pronto to make it quite plain I wasn't going to need them ever myself...(change locks and whip out any "illness paraphernalia" would be done within the first week). Personally, I get a little "worried" even by those half-height shower set-ups and I think it would put me off, because I would doubt that could be removed and the bathroom "set right" within days.

Eh, there's nowt as queer as folk........... So glad you've said this, I thought it was just me :rotfl:. Wouldn't put me off buying but would all need removed before I moved in :cool:.